My dd's 10 yr old friend has deliberately pissed on her laptop in her bedroom

(65 Posts)
anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 21:35:07

Out of jealousy or something..god knows.Its a boy.He has pee'd in it on monday while she was downstairs.It was on her beanbag and that got pee'd over too.Am bloody furious but dont know what i could/should do about it!!!

JeanSeberg Wed 12-Feb-14 21:38:13

Bit stumped with that one, have you just found out? Have you spoken to his parents?

CocktailQueen Wed 12-Feb-14 21:39:07

Tell his parents?? Are you sure it was him? Is it still working? Ask his parents to pay for repairs? shock

VivaLeBeaver Wed 12-Feb-14 21:39:51

Omg. Did he admit it? Have you told his parents? I'd be asking his parents to buy a new laptop.

Yes, ring the parents. Why would he do that?

WeekendsAreHappyDays Wed 12-Feb-14 21:41:07

Speak to parents - it's a s sign of abuse - inappropriate soiling at this age.

AnyFucker Wed 12-Feb-14 21:44:12

what ?

KoalaFace Wed 12-Feb-14 21:45:10

shock That's terrible. For your DD, you and for the boy who has behaved so shockingly. Has there been any issues like this in the past?

frugalfuzzpig Wed 12-Feb-14 21:47:33

Fucking hell. I would worry what the hell is going on in his mind to make him even imagine doing that.

Could just be amazingly crap discipline/parenting or it could be worse sad

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 21:49:42

No thats the bloody problem.
Dd was out after school yesterday so never used it.
The last time it was working was 4.20pm mon when he was in her room(i can see the internet history for it from my laptop)when he googled "penis"!
Dd had commented when she went back up to her room that day he suddenly said he had to leave and went.She commented to me at the time she thought he was feeling jealous of her.
Then dd picks up her laptop off her beanbag for first time since then this afternoon,and it is soaking wet,and so is the area around the beanbag.
She went nuts blaming our female cat...but when she has done anything the cat wee smell is unmistakable ..very pungent ammonia smell.
This smells like human urine(boke).
I can't bloody believe it.His parents arent particularly bright and are aggressive to other people in the neighbourhood.
I always felt a bit sorry for him,we've taken him on lots of trips(eg legoland,and york a couple of weeks ago)
But i cant really prove anything can I?!

Beamur Wed 12-Feb-14 21:51:46

Oh dear, I think you're right, how could you prove it and it's not very likely that he'll 'fess up presumably.
I guess he won't be terribly welcome in your house anymore? Hope you can get it fixed.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 21:52:14

And no its not working..its not even 12 months old!!!

VivaLeBeaver Wed 12-Feb-14 21:52:20

I suppose you're never going to be 100% sure it wasn't the cat???

But I'd be sure enough to not let him in the house again. But not sure enough to insist his parents pay for it.....especially if they're not very nice.

gilliangoof Wed 12-Feb-14 21:53:51

Omg. It maybe was the cat.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Wed 12-Feb-14 21:53:53

I would be seriously considering a call to SS. Unless he had additional needs, that is in no-way normal behaviour and is a bit of a red flag.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 21:54:02

but doesnt cat pee always smell like cat pee??

JeanSeberg Wed 12-Feb-14 21:54:21

Lots of red flags there OP, could you speak to him in confidence in a 'you're not in trouble' kind of way then consider your next move.

Approaching the parents may not be right at this stage.

Wilding Wed 12-Feb-14 21:55:58

No, cat pee has a very distinctive smell, you would definitely know if it was the cat.

I don't know whether you can say anything though? Maybe just say he had an accident to suss out whether this has happened before? V odd.

VivaLeBeaver Wed 12-Feb-14 21:56:42

I followed this once to rescue a laptop following a hot chocolate spill. Still had to buy a new keyboard for it but only cost £20.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 21:57:18

his dad takes him shooting rabbits apparently,and has a gun in the house.His parents keep splitting up just lately too.
Dd says he is very jealous of her as although he has an ipad they dont have wifi in their cant really use it.

Joules68 Wed 12-Feb-14 21:58:34

Grasping at straws here but if the laptop was warm it might have 'burnt away' the cat urine smell ??

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 21:59:35

am more worried about him and dd and his friendship than the laptop,but thanksx

MauriceMinor Wed 12-Feb-14 21:59:58

I don't think you should pursue that. You have no idea why the laptop is wet. Just suppositions.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:02:16

about a year ago we had an incident where he used her laptop to send abusive messages(swearing) to her facebook schoolfriends when she was out on her trampoline.She didnt think for one minute it could be him until i showed her the history and times of the entries.
We forgave him though.Although he never fully admitted it.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:03:51

Maurice,sorry but i think i would know the difference between yellow urine and water or juice.And very coincidental that the last entry on it was his.

Bigbrassband Wed 12-Feb-14 22:05:37

He sounds like a troubled young lad. I wouldn't ban him from the house completely but would confine him to family rooms when he comes over. So just pops in for a glass of coke or whatever, rather than spending time in your DDs room unsupervised.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:06:31

yes i suppose thats an option bigbrassband.he has no real friends at school.

JeanSeberg Wed 12-Feb-14 22:06:32

Poor lad, I hope you can find a way to still keep contact with him.

EBearhug Wed 12-Feb-14 22:09:46

Does your household insurance cover accidents? Like cats peeing on the laptop...

AwfulMaureen Wed 12-Feb-14 22:15:32

Op that's a real shame. Not just the laptop but the fact that your poor DD has had this happen from someone she thought was a mate. Oxfam online sell very good cheap reconditioned laptops.

I would cool the friendship completely if I'm honest.
Be done with visits.

ListenToTheLady Wed 12-Feb-14 22:20:46

God yes even if you can't be sure it's him (and it does sound like it was) I would not be leaving them alone together ever again. I'm sorry for him but he sounds as if he could be pretty unpleasant to her.

I think you could either contact SS or school and raise concerns about him in confidence, he could really need help. You can make clear you don't have 100% proof and you are just a bit concerned.

LynetteScavo Wed 12-Feb-14 22:22:45

Op, I think you know if it was the cat or the boy...

I would let him into the house, but would ban him from being alone in DD's bedroom (with or without her)

Going to his parents will probably do no good.

What do you think would happen if you brought it up with him?

Googling "penis" does seem a bit immature for a 10yo.

hmc Wed 12-Feb-14 22:23:11

He sounds very troubled. That is way outside normal behaviour.

ListenToTheLady Wed 12-Feb-14 22:26:55

I know a 10yo who would definitely google penis, has left me and DP obscene messages on post-its when visiting, and is still bedwetting. (NB it's definitely not the same boy! - as from a different background.) It looks to me like a pattern of disturbed behaviour that is not normal for 10, but fits together IYSWIM. I would be worried about him.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:28:06

i think if i bring it up with him he will stare at the floor and deny it,or possibly start crying.i am basically a bit scared of his mum,who talks and acts like a bloke.

Helpyourself Wed 12-Feb-14 22:28:46

You sound lovely OP flowers
I hope you can claim (cat pee) on insurance.
As an aside, isn't a 10 yo with an iPad but no wifi sad
Speaks volumes about that household.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:31:46

its quite mad really..dd is top of the class in alot at school and loves being teachers pet.and this boy is always in trouble,at bottom in most areas and tries every day to distract dd from her work.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:32:41

i was so angry earlier,but now i just feel so sad for him sad

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:33:46

i cant imagine dd will be able to stop herself saying something to him at school.she is so disgusted at having had his pee on her!

5OBalesofHay Wed 12-Feb-14 22:33:52

I wouldn't encourage a friendship between a teen and a 10 year old anyway (assuming your dd is at least 13 as on Facebook) I'd try to help her make friends her own age.

JeanSeberg Wed 12-Feb-14 22:38:09

I assume they are the same age?

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:42:26

yes she is.most of her 10 yr old friends are also on facebook so i relented and let her join.

anothernamechange111 Wed 12-Feb-14 22:42:50

she is 10 i mean.she is v nearly 11.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Wed 12-Feb-14 22:45:39

Helpful, 50bales confused

JeanSeberg Wed 12-Feb-14 22:49:13

And a not so subtle dig about you letting your daughter have FB at the age of 10...

5OBalesofHay Wed 12-Feb-14 22:57:34

Not a dig, I didn't think Facebook allowed them to register if under 13. Have got it wrong (but got away with refusing so not all bad).

JeanSeberg Wed 12-Feb-14 22:59:12

Apologies 50.

colditz Wed 12-Feb-14 23:04:13

Facebook doesn't allow children of ten to register, and facebookbis inappropriate for ten year olds. However, the issue here is not Facebook.

I would advise that you tell his teacher what has happened, and don't leave him alone with your daughter.

MuttonCadet Wed 12-Feb-14 23:07:05

I'd definitely want him away from my daughter. He does sound troubled.

bexincornwall Wed 12-Feb-14 23:07:31

There will be a child welfare officer allocated to the care of children at your child's school - you can raise your concerns with them & even if they don't take action it will help them in future interaction with the child (which sounds likely!). Very disturbed behaviour, I wouldn't leave him unsupervised again if you are kind enough to let him back in your house (I'm not that nice - kids don't get invited back to mine after much more minor misdemeanors!).

VoyageDeVerity Wed 12-Feb-14 23:09:04

Don't let this it in the house again and discourage the friendship pronto.

LynetteScavo Wed 12-Feb-14 23:09:35

Anyone can register on FB if they lie about their age.

Facebook does take into consternation some of their users are minors. If people have lied about their age, when FB thinks they are 18, they will actually still be 15, but FB won't know that....

5OBalesofHay Wed 12-Feb-14 23:10:56

No, absolutely don't allow him to be alone with dd if she's so young, it is worrying behavior and whilst you would be right to be concerned about his circumstances, your dd is your main concern

Martorana Wed 12-Feb-14 23:11:30

Too late now, but i think I would have let your dd believe it was the cat.

Could you somehow suddenly discover that it did smell like cat pee after all? I think dealing with another child doing something like this is a bit much for a 10 year old.

Then, next time he comes round I would ask him, out of your dd's earshot, if he knows anything about the laptop being broken and see what he says..

perplexedpirate Wed 12-Feb-14 23:50:16

I think Martorana has it.
Judge your next move from his reaction, but I definitely wouldn't rule out notifying social services.
And don't leave him alone with your DD again.
Bad sitch for all concerned. sad

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Thu 13-Feb-14 00:07:33

If you'd have said 12 year old I'd have known exactly who you were on about and exactly same background story..
phew this lad I know .. Peed on a doll and in shoes belonging to his sister when he was ten, like a bloody tomcat FFs.

I don't know if I'd raise it with them (parents) but I'd definitely keep dd away from him as SS when he did the same thing at the same age said he hadn't tried to wee, he'd tried to - and I quote - wank off and come all over the doll to teach SD a 'lesson' for being mean to him earlier that day.

Very worrying behaviour from a boy of that age, and fwiw he ended up later on abusing my DS and grooming him for far worse than when I caught it.

I'd cut all contact but you might choose to try to help him. Get a meeting arranged with the child protection officer at school, see what they think and if it's worth escalating.
You might find its a piece of a puzzle the school are building up, and it might make them contact social services.

frugalfuzzpig Thu 13-Feb-14 07:50:32

I definitely agree about telling the school. Not in a 'you need to bring this up with him' way, but partly so they can understand any tension/arguments between them, and partly (mostly) so they can build up a picture of the inappropriate/worrying behaviour happening outside school sad let them know you are worried about him. Though it may help to tell the school you don't want it getting back to the family that you've told them.

I'd also have a frank discussion with DD. Does she actually want to keep seeing him outside school? It may be that she feels obliged to.

(As an afterthought, if she is still happy for him to visit - and I totally agree it must ONLY be in family rooms from now on - he could maybe bring his iPad so he can actually use it on your wifi? That might help the jealousy issue)

frugalfuzzpig Thu 13-Feb-14 07:51:34

Thingsthat - god that's horrific sad how awful for you all.

Seeline Thu 13-Feb-14 08:04:22

I'm a bit confused. You say this happened Monday afternoon. And then say the laptop wasn't used again until Wednesday afternoon, when it and the beanbag were soaking wet. Surely things would have dried out by then? And your DDs room would have smelt of wee on Monday evening (thinking of when DCs have wet the bed) but you didn't notice this?

Morgause Thu 13-Feb-14 08:07:25

I know you feel sorry for him but I really think it's time to discourage this friendship, particularly if your daughter has gone off him anyway.

She has to be your priority and who knows what he'll do next?

Journeytolight Sat 15-Feb-14 08:38:34

You could say that your DD saw him. I would definitely talk to the boy's parents. They need to pay up for the repairs!!!

CharlesRyder Sat 15-Feb-14 08:54:12

The OP can't lie to get the repairs paid for Journey!!!

Martorana Sat 15-Feb-14 09:54:44

I think it was the cat.

ForTheLoveOfSocks Sat 15-Feb-14 09:58:41

I personally wouldn't want to encourage my Dd to have a friendship with someone who could treat her like that, troubled or not. What sort of message does it give her? I would not want her thinking it's acceptable to allow yourself to be treated in such a disgusting way.

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