12 year old not home from school now.. what the hell do I do?

(44 Posts)
Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:02:52

My daughter rarely goes anywhere after school, but it's not unheard of. She is not home and is usually back by 3. I have left messages on her mobile, have called friends, but gotten no reply. I don't have my mobile, so don't have her friends' mobile numbers. Advice????? Please???

cornypedicure Fri 07-Jun-13 16:04:30

Is she Y7?
could she have gone to the park with friends or something?
does she do any clubs?

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:06:40

She is Y7. No clubs. She could have gone to the park. I am on my own tonight, so don't want to go wandering down to the park and leave the house empty in case she calls. I've texted, called, don't know what to do. Am frantically trying to pick up a text message from BT, but that keeps prompting me to go to the website and isn't giving me the blardy message. I keep texting and ringing but no joy so far. Am panicking now...

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:07:17

She's normally really good at calling and stuff. BUT my mobile is in at the shop cos it's broken and needs fixing.

Kormachameleon Fri 07-Jun-13 16:07:17

Go and look for her ?
Call school to see whether she is in detention ?
Bus company for delays / accidents ?

Triumphoveradversity Fri 07-Jun-13 16:08:59

Have a look on bt for landline numbers of friends if you know parents names and addresses.

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:08:59

Thanks Korma. Just needed someone to talk sense to me cos I'm going off my head...Think I'll get in the car and go scout around for her... will leave a note to say ring her dad.
She walks, so no bus.

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:09:45

Both friends she might have gone to are out or not replying..maybe in garden. Will try again and will try their mobile numbers. I've got htem in the phone book. Trying so hard not to let my imagination get away from me.

Kormachameleon Fri 07-Jun-13 16:14:37

Stay calm, I'm sure she is fine

Leave note at home telling her not to leave if he gets back
Call school now
Get in car and go and look

cornypedicure Fri 07-Jun-13 16:16:06

My ds2 in Y7 does this sometimes and usually phones me from his friend's house but I always worry until he does.
Any word yet?

usualsuspect Fri 07-Jun-13 16:17:46

Go and look for her.

I'm sure she's fine though,

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:21:45

No word. Have left a message on her friends phone and am giving her 5 minutes to reply, just in case. I have tried a couple of friend's mums, but no joy so far. Am about to ring school to see if there is any issue. Then I'll get down to the park. I'm sure it's a storm in a teacup, but right now, I'm frighteningly worried. I just need to get a grip..

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:22:44

School is now closed, ring back on Monday! Useful!!!

usualsuspect Fri 07-Jun-13 16:23:11

It is scary, my kids all did this at some point.

Try not to panic.

ISeeSmallPeople Fri 07-Jun-13 16:24:05

If you go out to look for her, leave a note on the door telling her to stay put, go to neighbours at no 2 etc. just so you don't end up missing eachother.

Startail Fri 07-Jun-13 16:24:43

Deep breath, it's Friday and it's nice weather.

My two have just texted to say they are getting of the bus at the shop and walking the last 1/2 mile.

Justfornowitwilldo Fri 07-Jun-13 16:25:29

She's probably forgotten about your phone being broken and sent a text/ left a voice mail.

BirdintheWings Fri 07-Jun-13 16:25:47

Can you tell if the text message (the one you can't access) is from her number, or one of her friends? The fact that there is a message suggests that she might have tried to let you know she'd be late.

3littlefrogs Fri 07-Jun-13 16:25:58

You said that there is a text message for you but you have to get it from the website? I would do that first, before you go off to look for her.

seeker Fri 07-Jun-13 16:28:41

She's forgotten about your phone being broken, she's left you a message and gone to the park.

Don't be angry with her when you find her- your relief will make you sound crosser than you are.

Ok. You know it's almost certainly ok don't you?

But I understand the panic.

Can you ask a neighbour to house-sit whist you go and check the park?
Can you think of any emails you've ever had that might have contact numbers for her friends on them? School trips? Anything like that?
Do you know their surnames? Can you call another parent?

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:35:12

BT keep ringing to say there's a text message, to ring this number to access it. I ring the number, it tells me to go to the webpage. The webpage doesn't give the number I need. I'm on hold with them at the moment and they are very busy, so I'm desperately trying to get a response from them. They're saying an hour. If I could get the message, I'd know one way or the other. As it is, I've got no clue....Bloody BT are off my Christmas card list..

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:36:18

I know it's almost certainly o.k. It's the small chance that it's not o.k. that worries me. Am waiting for BT to answer now.

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:37:33

The park is chuff off huge as well, so the chance of locating her is remote. My poor DH is about to go into a social evening with clients, and he's frantic now too. Can you tell it's my only child??

jussey17 Fri 07-Jun-13 16:41:35

Have you got the message?

jussey17 Fri 07-Jun-13 16:49:12

Sorry not a helpful thing to say just wanted to let you know you we're not alone. All will be fine she is 12 and sensible. Try to stay calm, and try not to kill by. Can ou ring phone repair shop for help b4 they close?

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:51:37

She has just rung. She's at her mates house. Her signal was low (hur hur). My drama queen time is over. I'm sitting here with a pen and paper writing rules on how we deal with this in future. Apparently, my landline allows me to text, but because I'm no longer with BT I can't receive responses. Instead, I get a message from BT telling me to call the number, which tells me to check the website, but actually, that can never achieve anything, because I don't have an account with them!!??!! WEll, thanks BT!

Still...everything's o.k. So sorry for the mad panic and thanks for all the advice.

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:52:17

Thanks everyone. HAve told her she's got to pay for my next hair dye as I've got 50 shades of grey waiting for her to call!!!!

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 16:53:07

Gone 50 shades of grey even. Picking up soft porn isn't the way I deal with my problems. Honest. Even though my name probably doesn't convince any of you that I'm telling the truth now, I really truly am.


They're so used to mobiles that it doesn't occur to them to ask their friend's mum if they can use the landline to call home.

usualsuspect Fri 07-Jun-13 16:57:40

Phew, been there though,so understand your drama queenness grin


KrazyKurls Fri 07-Jun-13 16:59:06

You poor thing of have gone out of my mind with worry and called the police by now, but my eldest is only 5 grin

Some wine for you

Justfornowitwilldo Fri 07-Jun-13 17:00:08

Glad all is ok.

KrazyKurls Fri 07-Jun-13 17:01:54

If WOULD have, I didn't actually call the police on your behalf!

Maria33 Fri 07-Jun-13 17:03:19

My v responsible dd did this once in y7. It's even freakier when it's out of character. It's just the beginning of teenage thoughtlessness... I'm sure she's fine - it's a sunny Friday. Could you drive down to school or local park?

Poor you. Keep calm

Maria33 Fri 07-Jun-13 17:03:57

Cross post. Glad all is ok x

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 17:05:24

LOL. The only thing that kept me from calling the police is that I'm an older mum and I don't want to be an old fuss pot. I'm sure I linger on the borders of neglect where dd is concerned. Just occasionally, though, I indulge my older parent/PFB/Precious Only Child nature and have a drama queen hissy fit.

Think I've got a bottle of Bud in the fridge that got delivered with our last chinese takeaway. It's getting opened right now in the absence of wine.

Thanks again ladies. xx

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 17:06:36

Thanks Maria. It is out of character, so was all the more freaky. I've still got the adrenaline running round my system. I feel slightly manic. I'm about to drink alcohol and eat an ice cream (bugger the diet) to help myself calm down a bit.

spiderlight Fri 07-Jun-13 17:22:40

Glad she's OK!

Ilovemyrabbits Fri 07-Jun-13 17:30:52

Me too smile Knew (kind of) that it'd be o.k.

Hurray ! Was just going to post to say it's probably that she's growing up a bit, more than anything else. My dd is in y9 and has come home late a couple of times.
" Oh, I was waiting in the library with my friends because XYZ. Sorry, you weren't worried were you ?!"
We need to get better at sorting our mobile phones out too, and other communication issues.

Ilovemyrabbits Sat 08-Jun-13 03:21:50

Thanks juggling. Dd came home repentant, and worried she'd be in trouble, having heard my frantic messages. I wasn't cross with her at all. Just really pleased to see her. We have had a most pleasant evening as a result. So grateful for the support here. Phew...got my girl back smile

HoveringKestrel Sat 08-Jun-13 03:27:01

Just an FYI, if u text a landline it does that Stephen Hawking voice and reads it out.

Ilovemyrabbits Sun 09-Jun-13 16:03:33

Hi Hovering. We used to get this service, but we moved from BT to Plusnet with our landline, so we don't get that service anymore. BT finally told me to contact our current provider to get the message.

DD and I talked about what happened. She has completely forgotten that my phone was in for repair and had texted me. She was sooo, sooo sorry and I told her it didn't matter. She'd tried to contact me and it was just a problem with hardware rather than anything else. I hugged her when she came in and told her I loved her and not to worry. I was so relieved!

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