DD (age 10) "moustache" ;

(39 Posts)
mttum Sun 28-Apr-13 13:57:58

Any advice please? DD has developed a bit of a 'tache on upper lip, as well as hair under arms "etc". It's not bothering her at the moment (as far as I know, anyway), but she'll be going up to high school in September and I want to be prepared for if she starts getting teased/bullied or otherwise becomes self conscious about it. Shaving underarms I don't have a problem with when she brings it up, but I don't think it is a solution with facial hair. Any ideas?

ohtobecleo Sun 28-Apr-13 16:37:19

I had this problem as a teen (though I was about 15 before it became an issue) and my mum used to take me for a lip wax. Slightly painful, very effective. I now (in my 40s) have no hair on my upper lip and stopped waxing some time in my late 20s.

MyNameIsSuz Sun 28-Apr-13 16:51:36

Don't wax it! Ouch. Try a little dab of sensitive Veet, there's one that's for faces.

I think the real issue would be how to broach it. Were you planning to wait until she noticed - or had it pointed out - and said something and have a solution ready? That would be kindest, but if that was me at 11 I'd have been embarrassed and kept it to myself.

ohtobecleo Sun 28-Apr-13 16:58:46

The advantage of waxing over hair removal cream is that the cream is like shaving (ie just removes hair from the surface) and it grows back quickly. Waxing removes it from the root so the hair takes longer to grow back and it gets finer, and over time the need to remove it becomes less. Hence my second point that I no longer have the need for hair removal on my upper lip. But I probably wouldn't start that until she's a couple of years older as it is painful - briefly!

Meringue33 Sun 28-Apr-13 16:59:19

Laser treatment. Go somewhere they have hospital grade kit, if good it should only take a few treatments to go for good.

NB if they suggest shaving prior to the treatment DO NOT do this. Just trim with nail scissors.

Although its a sensitive topic perhaps there is a way to let your daughter know you would support her with this? You don't want her to take matters into her own hands and do something daft like shave or pluck, which can cause even thicker regrowth.

I speak from experience! My genes are very hirsute and I've promised myself if I ever have a daughter I'll pay for her to have laser treatment on legs and face if she wants it, at a relatively early age so she doesn't have to spend half her life battling it like me! (So far I only have a son, relieved for him!!)

mttum Sun 28-Apr-13 20:46:24

Thanks everyone. It's good to get a female point of view as I am a single dad and just want to do what's best for her. I wasn't going to bring it up myself but take your point meringue about not leaving it until she takes matters into her own hands. At the moment we can talk about pretty much everything, so lets hope it stays that way!

Thanks again - I'll make sure I don't leave my razor lying around!

lovesmileandlaugh Sun 28-Apr-13 21:01:37

How about bleaching it? Will just make it less noticable!

mttum Mon 29-Apr-13 05:58:04

Thanks ls&l, would that be using peroxide? Any idea how often it would need doing? I am thinking bout electrolyisis: has anyone had it done and could you give me any idea of costs, pain levels etc?

VivaLeBeaver Mon 29-Apr-13 06:12:28

DD has this, hadn't noticed it herself. I just told her straight. But she knows I have the same thing so I don't think was too embarrassed. We used facial hair removing cream (which is what I use as well).

I think bleaching is pointless as the hair is still there and no way am I waxing it off.

DD also has hairy legs and uses removal cream on them, and last weekend she also used it on her forearm hair which she's always been self concious about.

mttum Mon 29-Apr-13 07:20:47

Thanks viva. It kind of depresses me that we have to have this conversation at all, but as always I guess open loving communication is the way forward...

VivaLeBeaver Mon 29-Apr-13 07:35:42

I think just reassure her that for a large number of women/older girls it is quite normal. That people don't tend to discuss it so we don't realise how common it is.

You never know she might be quite excited in a way that its a sign she's growing up.

I know my dd is desperate (sadly in my view) to grow up and was thrilled when she started growing hairs in her armpits, etc.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 29-Apr-13 07:39:47

Viva's right OP...some girls are chuffed about it all happening...she's still your little girl though.

mttum Mon 29-Apr-13 07:40:28

Ha ha, yes, she is the envy of the other girls at school with armpit hair! grin. I was the same about shaving but after 43 years the novelty has worn off.

mttum Mon 29-Apr-13 07:41:47

With her armpit hair I meant

LeBoob Mon 29-Apr-13 09:57:13

I once bleached mine and got awful chemical burn, waxing or tweeting would be the way forward IMO S

LeBoob Mon 29-Apr-13 09:58:17

Tweezing**

formerdiva Mon 29-Apr-13 10:08:17

My Mum and Dad helped me start bleaching my moustache when I was 10 (it does make real difference IMO). Broaching the subject would be tricky I can see, but I'd bet money that she's already aware of it herself and dislikes it. Maybe if it was a broader "I know you're getting older and I want to let you know that you can talk to me about make up/ skin care/ hair removal. I might not know the answers, but we can find out together".

I can still remember the gratitude I had for my parents when they helped me out smile. BTW, you buy a specialist bleach for it. Jolen is the brand name, but Boots also do their own version.

rootypig Mon 29-Apr-13 10:34:23

oh don't bleach! absolutely dreadful for the delicate skin there, even the products that are 'designed' for it.

VivaLeBeaver Mon 29-Apr-13 10:37:20

It depends how bad the "tache" is. I tried bleaching as a teen. It was still noticable, especially in sunlight. As I'm very dark brunette it was obvious I'd dyed it and everyone just took the piss more than if I'd left it.

elfycat Mon 29-Apr-13 10:49:15

I'm fairly blonde and have always bleached (just bought more today). The area is pinkish for about an hour afterwards, if it was more than that I'd consider waxing.

As a Dad you could laugh some time while doing your face, about what age you started shaving and get into the conversation that way.

Nowhere should laser anyone who hasn't finished puberty. Anywhere that does is really not worth their salt.

I'd wax and if she still troubled when about 20 get it lasered then.

formerdiva Mon 29-Apr-13 11:57:18

I guess it's different strokes for different folks, but bleaching has never left me sensitive (and my skin is quite touchy - I can't use spot creams for example). I have black hair and quite a mighty tache to go with it, but bleaching makes it look better. Not as good as waxing, but I don't think I could have handled that at 10. If she's up for it, though, waxing is definitely the best short term option IMO, and maybe in a couple of years she can switch to that?

ZZZenagain Mon 29-Apr-13 12:05:12

I'd use hair removal cream. Just apply, wait, wipe off. Can leave the skin looking reddened but if she does it at night, the skin will look normal the next day. When she is a bit older, you can take her to a beauty salon and try a different methos. Beautician warned me against waxing, said she felt it contrubuted to facial linings she has.

Bleaching is also straight-forward and easy to do at home. Plucking too painful IMO. Waxing also hurts because the hair is tugged out with the roots

Your lucky dd that her dad helps with thexe things too

daytoday Mon 29-Apr-13 12:23:34

Don't wax - my hair comes back stronger! I must be a freak.

I would research hair lazer removal for when she is older, so she knows that there is a solution when she is ready.

Branleuse Mon 29-Apr-13 12:37:32

for her own sake, tell her shes getting a tache and its nothing to worry about but you want to put some cream to bleach it.

Id do it before the other kids notice tbh

Dancergirl Tue 30-Apr-13 11:50:20

I can't believe some of these responses. For goodness sake, she hasn't even noticed or is even bothered! Is this about the girls feelings or the parent's?? Or maybe the parent is disappointed that she isn't bothered by it.

Girls shouldn't be encouraged to remove or disguise natural body hair unless THEY want to. As for discouraging bullies.....if she's going to be bullied at all, they'll find something else to pick on.

Waxing, laser, bleaching....has anyone actually ASKED her if she wants to do this? How nice to hear about a girl who isn't so wrapped up in her own vanity.

mttum Tue 30-Apr-13 14:53:12

Dancergirl, as I said in one of my posts earlier, it is depressing that this is even a subject for discussion. However, unfortunately, children nowadays seem to be more preoccupied with appearance than they used to be. (boys too it seems). She seems fine at the moment, and I don't think it is an issue, but again as i said I want to be prepared for if it does become an issue. I think my dilemma now is whether to bring the subject up or not. I don't want to make her self conscious if she hasn't thought about it, but on the other hand I want to give her the chance to talk about it if she is concerned but too embarassed to bring it up. Or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill? confused

Dancergirl Tue 30-Apr-13 15:04:22

Yes it is true that children are too pre-occupied about their appearances. In some ways we, the adults, only have ourselves to blame. You only have to look at this forum to see how we spend so much time on our clothes, hair, make up etc. I know the media is to blame in some ways too.

You are looking at the worst case scenario - that she's going to get bullied/teased. That may not even happen! Or she could get bullied about a million other things. You can't pre-empt every possible eventuality, you will drive yourself mad.

Personally I wouldn't say or do anything just now. Maybe she hasn't even noticed it! If she wants to have it removed later on then of course support her but in the meantime it isn't an issue as you say.

ohtobecleo Tue 30-Apr-13 20:32:40

Dancergirl while I agree with your sentiment, I think the OP is just being proactive in seeking advice. It would be nice to think that all the kids at school will be kind and understanding but in my experience girls can be very bitchy mean to (and about) each other. I think planning for that eventuality is a good thing.

ripsishere Fri 03-May-13 03:08:36

I think the OP is being great. It is depressing that women feel the need to remove their body hair. I immac my 'tache and shave my armpits and legs in case you are wondering.
DD is 12 next week. She started to pluck her armpit hairs out using two coins and use her dads razor on her knees (only her knees confused). She now uses immac under her arms.
OP, have you considered threading? I used to have that done. It is painful briefly, but lasts a long time.

mttum Mon 01-Jul-13 21:36:12

A quick update for anyone still out there smile

A few weeks ago I got a message from her on the iPad (from her bedroom!) asking when she could start shaving. We had a discussion (a real one) about the pros and cons o f different methods of hair removal -at the time she was only thinking about underarm hair - and she agreed to think about it. Last week I got another message, saying she had decided she wanted to shave, but also her upper lip. Dancergirl, I swear I didn't bring it up!

Another discussion ensued, and the upshot was we have just spent a pleasant time in the bathroom with me doing her first underarm shave, followed by waxing of the upper lip (her choice).

I would never have imagined a few years ago that I would be doing this. Thanks to all of you for your help and advice, much appreciated flowers

LesAnimaux Mon 01-Jul-13 21:43:15

we have just spent a pleasant time in the bathroom with me doing her first underarm shave, followed by waxing of the upper lip

Since when was waxing your upper lip pleasent? grin

Well done! smile

mttum Tue 02-Jul-13 09:30:46

Ha ha, well I guess it was less pleasurable for her, but she bore it with fortitude and was pleased with the result smile

BerkshireMum Sat 06-Jul-13 21:08:51

My dd is 11 and has had her upper lip waxed a couple of times. She asked if she could when I was going for one of my regular waxing appts. I was happy to agree as I had noticed it as well.

Niece, also 11, has waxed her under arms since she was 9. My dd will probably have her legs done before the long summer holiday. She has been thinking about it for a while and I've made her wait til she's sure.

mttum Wed 17-Jul-13 19:03:54

A quick post script.

I decided to show solidarity last weekend by waxing my back and shoulders, and had to get dd to help. That was a lot more fun for her! grin

HeleneCixous Wed 09-Jul-14 11:24:37

I'm reviving this whiskery zombie because my dd who is ten, dark-haired and fair-skinned, has the beginnings of a light moustache that was kindly brought to her attention by a charming boy in her class. I am now feeling guilt because I noticed it a few weeks ago and my own views on body hair are that you take off as much as you want to for your own requirements and no-one else's, so I would never have commented on it to her.
Is the consensus that a specialist hair removal cream for sensitive skin might be best? I don't want to give her an orange tache in places of the dark one and I really don't want to make a big deal of it for her by taking her to have it waxed etc (she will also scream the place down)

CambridgeBlue Mon 14-Jul-14 13:43:34

My DD (12) has inherited DH's hairiness and has had noticeable hair on her upper lip for a year or so now. She is very self conscious about it and says people have commented at school (not unkindly I don't think but still attention she'd rather not have).

We tried hair-removal cream but even though it was a sensitive one she could feel it burning when we applied it and it left her with a horrible rash - thank God it was half term.

We're both reluctant to try anything else after that so at the moment I'm trimming it for her with nail scissors. Could really do with a better option though!

Tortoiseturtle Mon 14-Jul-14 14:02:11

How often does upper lip hair have to be waxed? Is it easy to do at home?

Dotty342kids Tue 15-Jul-14 14:42:38

REading this with interest. My DD (9) has always had a noticeable 'tache as her dad's family are Indian so hairiness seems to come with the territory. She'd mentioned a couple of incidences of teasing so after discussion, we agreed to try facial hair removal cream. As her hair is quite thick I left it on for the full recommended time of, I think, 5 mins. It was effective and it's not come back as obvious but she really didn't like the chemical smell / burning sensation and has, for the time being, said she's perfectly happy to keep her, as she calls it "lip warmer"! Next step, I think, may be waxing as she won't go near the cream again!

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