9 year old friendship issues - affecting siblings and mine and friends relationship

(1 Post)
Tarynb Thu 23-Jun-16 11:00:22

I'm sure that this issue has come up before but I just need some advise on what to do. I have been very close friends with a lady since we were 11 years old, I had my son & 9 months later she had hers.our boys were inseparable due mainly because of our relationship. we then went on to both have girls 2 weeks apart so our children all have or at least had a very strong bond.lately my son is upset at being left out of games or feels ganged up on by this boy & likewise this boy will go to his mum and say the same about my boy.I think the thing is they are both wanting to be "in charge" all the time & obviously both cant be all the time.I'm not saying my son is an angel but I am starting to be a "mother lion" wanting to protect him from the situation any way I can.He is often being moaned about by this one boy in our little group of children for not wanting to join in or for being moody.I have given him strategies which don't seem to be working,such as rather than getting cross because you are being left out or if for instance they are playing a wrestling game & he feels he is being ganged up on by him & doesn't want to play, ive suggested that he simply says he is tired or legs hurting etc & is going to go sit down,this worked in the first few instances as this boy left him to it but now he's begun moaning to everyone that my son is being moody having a strop etc,he even went so far as videoing him on his mums phone the other day & then laughing with the others "look at him on this vid its hilarious, so funny hes having a strop" etc.I saw that as being a bit of a bully, maybe i'm over-reacting.my son has now said he would rather not see him anymore as he's miserable & upset if he does when there is more than just the two of them there.this would be ok except for the fact that we have friends in common with boys roughly the same age & we all tend to meet up together.he's worried that if he decides to not see this boy anymore he wont get to see the others & my daughter & my friends daughter wont see each other either,also what will become of me and my friend of nearly 30 years.my family all think this boy is a horrible kid,not based on what I tell them but how he behaves when they see him, I know to a certain extent he would be better off if he didn't see this boy but I'm not sure how to negiotiate the getting together with the other mums & children without making things un-comfortable.he is going to be going to secondary school in a couple of years so will be able to make choices about who he sees & if I manage to navigate through this period of time successfully hopefuly I will still be seeing her & her daughter for playdates with mine etc & he can then make the choice to come or not come as he will be old enough to be home alone or to see his other friends etc but at the moment if my daughter wants to see her friend and I want to see mine then he has to come with me.my stomach is in knots the whole time leading up to meeting & throughout, so my son is anxious and so am I! any advise on what I should do?

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