How can I be more positive with my son?

(5 Posts)
sprout2 Tue 02-Feb-16 11:04:34

Has anyone got any advice or strategies on how to be more positive with your child? My 12 year old son is a recently diagnosed dyslexic and has problems with his social interactions - this has caused problems at school and at home. Consequently i often feel quite resentful towards him. I know this is wrong and i know my tone and things I say can be negative. I know this is not helping him and despite waking up every morning with the intention of being positive and upbeat with him I soon find myself slipping back into negativity. I would really appreciate any suggestions or advice on how to turn this around.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Tue 02-Feb-16 23:41:44

Well, the good news is that you know what you're doing.

There's no magic fix for it unfortunately, it's just something that you have to train yourself out of. Every child has different limitations - that's not a reason to be negative- that's just normal life!

Maybe see if there's any support groups in your area so that you and your son can work to perhaps circumvent the issues that he finds difficult? Being proactive is a positive force so it would be really hard for you to think of you feeling negative about your position if you have something in place to strive for.

sprout2 Wed 03-Feb-16 19:46:23

thanks TrollTheRespawnJeremy i appreciate your advice.

BackforGood Thu 04-Feb-16 23:45:23

I would agree with 'training yourself'. We went through a spell when ds was very difficult to live with, so dh and I tried really hard to make a conscious effort to try to say 3 positive things to every negative one to him. You feel a right plonker at first, but it really had such a positive impact, it was so worth doing. Can be really tiny things.
"I really appreciate the fact you always put your clothes into the laundry basket - X was telling me her son doesn't and I was sitting there thinking how lucky I am to have you as my son"
"Thanks for getting up first time I call you - it really helps when I'm rushing in the morning"
"I'm so impressed you've read that page/ tried that homework / {whatever} - I understand you have to work much harder than some people at reading"
"I noticed to being really patient with your sister earlier when she was being annoying"

to quite 'light-hearted' things such as

'I noticed you have the loveliest smile in the whole class when I was in assembly today' type of OTT compliment, which just reminds them that we've all got attributes to be appreciated.

taptonaria27 Fri 05-Feb-16 18:59:32

I need to join you in this as many of my interactions with my 11 yr old dd are snappy or sarcastic despite me telling her people are like mirrors - what you give is what you get back - if only I could listen to my own advice!
Great advice above, I shall try

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