9 yr old scared of being kidnapped

(5 Posts)
popmimiboo Mon 27-Apr-15 21:16:59

DD2 is 9 and has had this fear for ages. She tries every trick in the book to stall bedtime and often ends up in with DD1 (13.)
Tonight is worse as she had a nightmare last night that a lady was trying to take her from her bedroom :-(
She also refuses to play out in the garden by herself. No problem if she has a friend over or if I'm in the garden but she's scared of being alone.
I've been firm about bedtime but don't force her to play out. I am doing my best to be reassuring but am at a loss as nothing seems to make her feel better. She's been like this for months though and is getting worse rather than better.
Any ideas on how to make her feel safe?

JamForTea Mon 27-Apr-15 21:20:54

This is anxiety. Teaching her that it's her mind telling her that she's scared of something that is very unlikely to happen, will be better than going into all the detail of her fears. Acknowledge her fear and say it very very unlikely but get her to recognise that her mind/body is over reacting and how to calm herself down will be more beneficial in the longer term.

JamForTea Mon 27-Apr-15 21:22:53

www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-You-Worry-Much/dp/1591473144

popmimiboo Mon 27-Apr-15 21:57:05

Thanks for the link. I was about to order her some more David Walliams books to give her something lighthearted to read at bedtime, so I've added the worry book for us to look at together. Worth a try.

MabelMoonface Thu 04-Jun-15 22:12:06

My DD is now 11 and has had similar fears for a couple of years. When she was about 9, nightmares about being "taken" were almost every night. And if it wasn't about her, it was her younger sister. We've given loads of positive reassurance, talked about the likelihood of it actually happening, and some practical stuff about self defence.
We've also talked about controlling anxiety and chasing bad thoughts away. She still has the nightmare occasionally, but the last time was about 5 months ago.
Hope your DD comes through it too

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