my 12 year old doesn't want to leave the house!

(10 Posts)
mrscanuticacq Sat 04-Apr-15 13:35:33

My 12 year old son does not want to do anything apart from play computer games, he doesn't want to hang out with his friends in person only online, we planned a family day today and he refuses to even get out of bed, I worry that he's becoming too insular, friends he used to like hanging out with, he no longer wants to be around, he's dyspraxic so now only does anything physical at school, or we drag him to the local swimming pool as this is the only form of exercise that he has a slight interest in. He's well behaved at school, but I find dealing with his lack of motivation and movement at home completely frustrating and upsetting.

BeeBawBabbity Mon 06-Apr-15 19:57:12

I have a twelve year old daughter who is exactly the same. She isn't even interested in the usual social media/phone stuff that nearly all other kids of that age group are keen on. She just draws, reads "web comics", plays guitar, eats and sleeps (when not at school). It makes me sad to see other kids her age hanging out together near our house and having a laugh.

She's very introverted, and if I do arrange for someone to come over she's always glad to see them go, even if she's had a good time. She just prefers her own company I think. She goes to drama on Saturdays which she loves, but that's her only activity apart from guitar.

I don't know how much to push her into socialising if she doesn't want to. I'm never sure if it's shyness, laziness, or she if she just genuinely doesn't enjoy hanging out with other kids her age. I understand that it makes you frustrated, I feel that to.

Sorry, not much advice, but watching with interest to see what others suggest.

Needaglassofwinedotcom Tue 07-Apr-15 20:21:21

I have the same with my Ds 12, just wants to be on computer. He seems happy enough, had friends, but doesn't want to go out. Watching with interest too

Dancergirl Wed 08-Apr-15 11:58:58

How long does he spend playing games? Don't you set a time limit?

mrscanuticacq Tue 05-May-15 11:01:55

It's also coupled with the fact my son is dyspraxic, so doesn't naturally enjoy outside activities and enjoys the computer as it's something he is in charge of and can control. My husband and I are not getting on which also may have an effect on my son withdrawing from social activity. His father historically doesn't do any activities with the kids so the pressure feels all on my shoulders. The more I become estranged from my husband, the more my husband makes himself busy with work so is not around, I'm at my wits end and each morning preparing them for school is becoming increasingly harder. My son is constantly complaining of upset stomachs, which I feel are caused my emotional upset, things he, at 12 doesn't understand and can't control. I have taken him to the doctor on numerous occasions, he's had blood tests but nothing has shown up so it leads me to believe that his condition is brought on by his emotional state. I have organised to send the boys to a less pressurised school in september hoping this will help the situation.

Heartofgold25 Tue 05-May-15 11:17:14

It sounds like you are doing everything you can MrsCanuticaq, it is a really difficult situation for you combined with issues with dh as well. What happens when you take the screens away for a few days? Does he play with you? Board games etc? What other hobbies does he have? Inside the home or outside?
I am also wondering what happens at school, does he play and have friends there according to the form tutor?

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 08-May-15 18:27:43

That does sound like a tough situation. coukd you try a sport with him? Archery is supposed to be good for people with dyspraxia.

Babyroobs Fri 22-May-15 23:40:29

I'm having the same problem with my sensitive, intoverted ds aged 12. This evening he has been on the Playstation for most of the evening, and although he is communicating with frineds on it, he can rarely be pursuaded to go out or do anything else. Toinght at 11pm he has ended up onthe verge of tears after spending an hour and a half loading something and then ? didn't get any points ( I don't really understand it !). It has ended up with me getting cross at him and feeling like we are really failing him and he is missing out on a 'proper' childhood. He is one of 4 kids and life is hectic and I admit its sometimes easier for him to be occupied on the PS than moping around or arguing with the others. This half term I am adament he is going to get out and do other stuff, just not sure how to motivate him. So depressing !

JennyFromTheNorthEast Fri 29-May-15 14:20:50

I have a similar problem with my 12 year old boy, he gets out of bed ridiculously late and then just eats all day and talks to people on facebook. He does sometimes go out, but always wants me to drop him off where he's meeting his friends angry

GotABitTricky Sat 30-Jan-16 19:19:30

Old thread, but relevant to me currently....

I limit PlayStation to one hour at a time, but I admit that is the most enjoyable peaceful hour for family in house!

He seems lazy and has many friends but won't go out play football with them nor even walk round shops the other boys all doing.

I have invited friends round to house some weekends but he goes crazy so I now don't tell him in.advance and have them just turn up at door. He always has a fun 3 hours laughing and chatting, but then says he happy when they gone.

Frustrating, as feel he missing out on so much with his pals.

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