Mobile phone

[moomooland01]

Ex bought 10 yr old son a new phone for Xmas, I was happy about it as I dot feel he's responsible enough yet but if it meant he could maintain contact with his dad then I allowed it.
Since then it's been nothin but trouble.
Last week he was brought in for throwing snowballs at cars, he wasn't happy and went straight up to ring his dad, who then proceeded to scream down the phone how he was going to smash my head in. I took the phone and turned it off. Next thing there were two police officers t the door, ex had rung 999! (Yes, REALLY!) the police were furious to say the least an it went down as "malicious ex causing trouble" (we have a court case pending so obv trying to score points)
So now we have been walking on eggshells, I feel like I can't even tell him off or discipline him when needed for fear of this bloody phone.
At weekend DS asked his dad something on the phone, I said his dad shouldn't really be talking to him about things like that as it was adult stuff, to which his dad replied "tell her to fuck off!" DS repeated it
Any advice?

[cdtaylornats]

Remove the sim card.

[moomooland01]

Then they message on whatsapp etc.
I confiscated the phone last night. I said I would re-evaluate the situation in 3 days time and once a little respect comes he can have it back. His dad can ring my phone if he wants to speak to him.

[ishouldntsaybut]

You have done the right thing in confiscating the phone. It would probably be a good time to set the ground rules with your son regarding his phone (ask for his input). He is trying to play you off against each other and it doesn't sound like his dad is helping matters!!

My kids have a phone only for contact when they are out and about. They are also 10 and don't need it for keeping in touch with friends, so when they come in the phone goes in a basket to be charged and they pick it up when they go out again.

As you said if your husband wants to speak to him he can ring the landline if the phone is off. Take the control back from your husband and to a certain extent your son.

[Heartofgold25]

I completely agree with the other posts. The mobile should be used for days out/sleepovers only. It is not acceptable for you to be spoken to like that, and as others have pointed out it is definitely a control thing. My children only use there phones for the above, they do not have access to it at any other time. This is completely reasonable for a 10yr old child. I would also unplug and deny access to the computer and all other communication tools with the exception of the landline unless your ex husband follows some basic rules. No swearing, no adult conversation, conversation to remain positive and about the child and his interests etc. Be careful, it sounds like your husband may be using your son as a pawn to control and upset you.

[TurnThatOffNOW]

Oh no! Sorry to hear about your issues. Why don't you confiscate the phone until secondary school, your DS doesn't need it. Your Ex should ring you to contact him, that's how it works with me.