Overweight DD (10)

[Lovecat]

DD has always had a propensity to chub, as a baby I kept getting told not to worry, she would lose it when she started walking - as it happened, she didn't lose it until she started nursery - but so far any major weight gain has always been prior to a growth spurt, so just about the time I'm thinking I need to do something she's suddenly shot up and become skinny again.

However, she's now nearly 10 and especially over Christmas she has piled on the weight. Her arms are fairly skinny, her legs are sturdy but not wobbly, but she has a big tummy and rolls of fat when she sits down. Last night we were playing Just Dance (my subtle attempt to get her to exercise) and I noticed when she took her vest off afterwards she had back fat - this is not puppy fat, she is overweight! She can't fit into her 9-10 jeans anymore as she can't do the button up. Obviously I can buy her jeggings and leggings in the short term, but this is not healthy and I want to reverse the situation as soon as possible.

I'm really worried about her and fear she is taking after DH - he is a big bloke and doesn't seem to have an 'off' button when eating - he used to play football and rugby so kept the weight off, but now he's older he's stopped the sport and really expanded. I cook healthy dinners and give her smaller portions, she doesn't drink juice or fizz, she doesn't really like fruit that much but doesn't snack - however, having said that, I can't buy biscuits or treats as they will literally go in one night - DH will gobble them all up and share them out with DD (and me, to be fair, I'm guilty of biscuit creep).

She's now developing boobs and is very self-conscious about them. I don't want to say anything about the weight or give her a complex, but how can I help her lose this fat? It is actual wobbly fat, not just stockiness.

She swims and trampolines once a week and plays netball with the school, but is otherwise fairly sedentary.

What else can I do? Help please, oh wise MNers!! :)

Will exercise alone do it?

[judydoes]

Exercise is brilliant and will help her develop healthy habits long term if she finds an activity she enjoys, and it is important. But I personally think diet is more important. If you think about it, it takes a lot longer to burn off 400 cals than it does to consume it (a sandwich could contain this or more, a few biscuits could depending on what they are etc) so I think you need to look at her diet as well.

You say you cook healthy meals though-how healthy are they? Could you make them healthier? Tell her you want the whole family to get healthier (if she notices)? Could you go for a long bike ride or walk together a couple of times a week the whole family?

I was very overweight at her age. My family got me a dog, but to be fair I wanted one and it was a big decision understand it might not be practical for you!
And you're definitely doing the right thing by not mentioning her weight to her :)

[zippyandbungle]

My dds tend to want to binge after school and if left unchecked could consume vast amounts of crap, dd2 in particular.

I par made a huge amount of slimming world chips up to the oven stage and froze on small portions in sandwich bags.
These are bunged in the oven and take twenty minutes to cook if that. It staves off the munchies until they have a healthy dinner as late as possible which avoids late evening snacking. Plus they think its a fab treat.

[zippyandbungle]

Also try not to make a big deal, my slightly chubby 12 year old dd1 is now a colt like 17 year old with a very healthy attitude to food.

[WyrdByrd]

It's so tough isn't it.

We went to GP with my DD last year as she was putting on weight. She was 9.5 at the time and he said to simply encourage her to exercise & eat healthily & wait for her to grown into it.

Unfortunately nearly a year down the road, things haven't changed much so I need to be far stricter with her but it's such a tricky line to tread.

First job is to start getting my butt out of bed earlier so we can walk to school - it's less than 10 minutes so we've really no excuse, and refusing to supply anything beyond fruit & veg for snacking.

[willowisp]

Don't buy the snacks !

Don't make a deal about her weight or it'll stay with her forever, but look at her portion sizes, palm of her hand for protein etc.

What's her average daily intake ?

[WyrdByrd]

The awkward thing for us is that DD has hit puberty very early & is the size of a teenager with the appetite to match.

She's taken up basketball since we went to the GP but it's only once a week. Really don't have the time or budget to take on anything else 'paid for' although hope to give martial arts a try at some point. Had hoped to rope her in to doing Couch to 5k with me in the spring, but I'm waiting to hear if I'm going to need abdominal surgery in the next few months which will make that a non-starter.

Tbf she has a reasonably healthy diet - typical day: large bowl of sugar free muesli with semi skimmed milk for breakfast; sweet chilli chicken & salad wrap, baked 'crisps', fruit & yoghurt for lunch; handful of nuts & raisins when she gets in from school & a pretty average dinner, stirfry & rice, pizza & salad, meat & 2 veg etc.

I think it's treats & snacks that are the problem. I was probably a bit more relaxed than I should have been when she was small as I never had issues with her eating the good stuff. Clearly it's a much harder habit to break when they are older .

[willowisp]

A bit at chips as a snack, that's really not a good habit to introduce.
Also why would you give tea as late as possible ?

My DD comes in from school & has an apple. There's usually a club going on, so we all have a fairly early tea. 4.30 some days, with a yogurt for pud when she comes back if no time earlier.

I have a friend who gives the DC pudding first before swimming & then tea when they come back.

Both my DC's walk to school & do activities (ballet, running, swimming, judo, street dance & modern/tap) during the week, plus dog walk at weekends & 2km run most Sunday mornings.

Needless to say both are in good shape.

[CarolDW]

Sounds similar to my 10 year old boy, he's piled on weight recently, he's got chunky thighs and quite a big belly. Yesterday the button popped off on his school trousers and today he tried to put a pair of chinos on which wouldn't button up, eventually I fastened them up with a safety pin for him.

He didn't have any problems with weight until he was about 9, when he started to gain weight slightly. He's always eating and he's now got chubby cheeks and a double chin. I try to persuade him to exercise as much as possible but he's very reluctant to.

Hope you get her weight sorted soon :)

[Drunkendonut]

It's so so difficult. My dd1 was a chubby child, particularly up until she hit about 13. I joined slimming world and asked her if she wanted to come and learn about healthy choices. Never once mentioned her size but I know she was self conscious about it.
So we did it together and made healthy choices. She didn't realise quite how much rubbish she was eating until she had to confront it.
Make it about being healthy and not about weight.

She's 16 now with a figure to die for!
I think she probably would have lost a lot naturally but she has a healthy attitude to eating in that she'll indulge in what she fancies but then will be a bit stricter for a couple of days. I look back and can't believe she's the same girl tbh!

[YoullShootYourEyeOut]

Well, my 10 year old dd cannot fit into 9-10 clothes at all. In fact I have to buy 11-12 in some shops and she is not fat, not skinny, but not fat. So please ignore the labels in the clothes for now.

My daughter is developing at an alarming rate, she has hips and boobs and with that has come a little bit of a tummy, but I think a lot of that is due to hormones. Your dd sounds like she is doing a good level of exercise, eats well and doesn't snack too much. Re the biscuits, you need to talk to your dh and tell him to not eat them in front of her and then you only need give one to her if she specifically asks.

I think lots of girls put on weight when puberty starts, some are lucky to be naturally skinny, but most are not. I definitely put on weight just before secondary school when I started wearing a bra and I was a pretty active child. Also, please remember, just because she is a little overweight does not mean she is unhealthy, all this obesity crisis crap is not entirely true and very alarmist (there are plenty of recent studies on this that you can read if you want to know more).

What you do need to be careful of is giving her any type of negativity about her body, especially if she seems to be happy with herself at the moment. I would just keep doing what you are doing as it sounds like you are a great mum. If you are really worried you could take her for a health check, but obviously this could have the effect of making her anxious about the way she looks.