11 year old going out with friends....

(10 Posts)
jeanswithatwist Sun 17-Aug-14 20:09:53

out of interest, do you think an 11 year old girl it too young to go on the tube to westfield in stratford with a few other girlfriends. tbh i do. she goes to the park to meet her friends (down the road), walked to and from school when in yr 6, has gone to the local shops with friends (so i am not not letting her have any time out) but from my own experience there was noway i would be allowed to go off on the tube to hang out at the local shopping centre. I know things are different but that doesn't necessarily mean better. call me old fashioned but i don't want to let her go. there are alot of girls i know of (same age) whose parents are stricter and wouldn't allow their dd to go to the shops with a friend so there are obviously varying/different views. I just wondered roughly with way swayed the most. cheers (fwiw dd doesn't particuarly want to go oddly enough but two of the girls going are pretty vile and are particularly prone to bullying/being bitchy and are teasing her because they know i won't let her go....) they aren't her friends but her bf is going.

RockinHippy Mon 18-Aug-14 13:40:52

I'm not in London, so no tubes, but we are in a nearby city - & yes, I would & do, let her go to meet & hang out with friends in our shopping centre - but mine is an old, very sensible 11 yr old, almost 12 - she's been doing this for a year or so & it's a mike walk, or short bus hop to the shopping centre.

She has friends that do & friends that aren't allowed & I think it a transition age & very much your decision, one that depends very much on the maturity of your DC

amyhamster Mon 18-Aug-14 13:46:00

two of the girls going are pretty vile and are particularly prone to bullying/being bitchy and are teasing her because they know i won't let her go

This would make it a non issue for me
No way would I let her go anyway where people didn't treat her well
The whole point of independence is letting them go out alone with friends who had mutual respect for each other & wouldn't abandon her or mock her if she felt upset or hurt herself

MindCandy32 Mon 18-Aug-14 13:48:22

I have let my daughter go on the tube to stratford with one friend a few weeks ago (she is 12 now but was 11 then) and they had a fab time.

I made her aware to be careful about her bag and phone just like she would be in any shopping place or street and if she needed any help about anything to approach the many staff and security they have there.

They went, had a lovely time and haven't asked to do it since, so got it out of their system but I would definitely let her do it again..

RockinHippy Mon 18-Aug-14 13:52:32

two of the girls going are pretty vile and are particularly prone to bullying/being bitchy and are teasing her because they know i won't let her go

Sorry, posting on the run as I had both DH & DD wanting my attention - I mussed that bit

Agree - absolutely no way in those circumstances - but if she has other friends maybe a compromise would be an idea - ie, yes you can have more freedom, but nit whilst hanging out with that lot

RockinHippy Mon 18-Aug-14 13:55:41

I should maybe have added - my win DD has been invited to go along with such a group, but she was happy not to go - at that stage though, talking to her later, she preferred me saying no as it gave her a "get out" IYSWIM

dancestomyowntune Mon 18-Aug-14 13:55:46

My Dd is learning the bus route this week to her new school. She will be having to get the bus from our town to bigger town eight miles away, and then change buses up to the area the school is in. This is a big deal to her as she has always been driven to school at primary. She will learn!

AugustaGloop Mon 18-Aug-14 14:00:52

I have been to the other Westfield with my DDs who are 11/12. The last couple of times we travelled together then parted company after an hour or so and met up at the end (I needed to go shopping anyway). Now that we have done this I would be ok to let them make their own way there and back (easy tube journey form where we live), preferably going together (or travelling with a friend) to start with. they have not yet asked though.

Hulababy Mon 18-Aug-14 14:03:21

Dd is 12y and I hate the whole hanging around town/shopping centre thing and actively dissuade dd from doing it unless she has a proper reason for wanting to go to shopping ie to buy something. Won't let her go to just hang around.

jeanswithatwist Sat 23-Aug-14 15:27:26

thanks for all your posts :-)

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