Loved up 12 year olds

(9 Posts)
Verycold Wed 28-May-14 00:31:01

In my dd's school year (8) there are quite a few couples who are quite full on - spending every break and lunchtime together, out for dates every weekend (mostly daytime), posting loved up messages on social media... Not sure how far their relationships go otherwise, though I suspect not past hugs and kisses. Nevertheless, is it just me who finds it quite full on quite early? Dd doesn't have a boyfriend and I'm not sure how happy I'd be with a friendship along those lines - I feel general friendships and school work should be more important. What do others think?

Cardinal Wed 28-May-14 02:54:32

I think 12 is prime age for first kisses. Providing it wasn't going further, I'd just suck it up. They're a ball of hormones at this age, and the opposite sex have just got interesting. All very normal!

Verycold Wed 28-May-14 07:15:42

I'm not worried about the kisses, more about the spending every moment together!

LastingLight Wed 28-May-14 07:16:16

I agree with you Verycold. My dd is almost 12 and I feel that is too young for the kind of intense relationship you describe.

Notso Wed 28-May-14 07:33:16

I can sympathise with how you feel but you can't tell your child how to feel.
My Mum was very vocal about how I was too young for a boyfriend at 12 and it just resulted in me never talking to her about boys and my feelings until I was 16.
I found out my DD had a boyfriend at 12. I talked to her about the importance of keeping in contact with friends even though she had a boyfriend. We laughed at an old photo I had of one of my first boyfriends.
I made sure to arrange lots of sleepovers with her friends and activities at the weekends so she wasn't spending all her free time with him. It lasted a couple of months then he finished with her and I was there to give her a hug and a bar of chocolate.

Verycold Wed 28-May-14 19:56:50

I would never stop her, but some parents seem to actively encourage it, which surprises me

Charlotteamanda1 Fri 30-May-14 08:59:45

Often people think kids go from no boy/girlfriends to going out with someon at 16 or 18.
Like all development it develops over time. What they are doing is learning about relationships and acting it out. It's all pretty innocent stuff - hand holding and a bit of kissing.
They will see each other all the time at school brakes but there will be other friends about. After school should be limited to fit round family life as with all activities to keep it in proportion.
It's a weird transition for us parents to watch and some kids practice relationships more than other. Your child is watching and learning at the moment which is equally good.
The horrid thing is what we want them to be concentrating on and interested in doesn't match what they feel and want.

ScrambledEggAndToast Tue 07-Oct-14 22:06:21

I can't imagine DS ever having a proper girlfriend but I guess it's not long off (he will be 12 in Feb). When he was 8 he had a "girlfriend" for about a year. They even exchanged valentine's day cards and presents, it was very sweet.

TeenAndTween Wed 08-Oct-14 11:07:06

I think 12 is a bit early for anything much, especially the amount of time you indicate.

But then I think 9 years old is too early for even 'early' boyfriends (like 2 children in DD2's y5 class).

When DD1 was 12.5 she announced she had a boyfriend. This was somewhat out of the blue as she had shown no interest beforehand. We said OK in school, not OK out of school (which we could do as he lived some considerable distance away). It lasted 2 years. DD1 is quite vulnerable and the 'relationship' was concerning to us. I don't think it did her any good at all and probably got in the way of her having more 'normal' early relationships.

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