Y6 - friendships unravelling

(5 Posts)
soddinghormones Sun 18-May-14 14:49:04

Just when I was breathing a sigh of relief that we hadn't had any friendship issues throughout the whole of primary, dd's two best friends have taken up with another girl and have started excluding her. They're very pointedly blanking dd - the other day all three of them rushed up to another girl squealing excitedly and completely ignored dd who was standing right next to her and they're constantly arranging to meet up after school without dd.

Obviously we've only got a few weeks left but two of the trio will be going to the same secondary as dd so unless this gets sorted there'll be a hangover into next year. Is there anything I can do to support dd without making things worse? There are loads of social occasions from now on including the year 6 party which dd is now rather dreading

Dd is v bright (did extremely well in 11+ exams), good at sport and has got a big part in the y6 play, she's also quite quirky, not into fashion or typically girly things and doesn't find it easy to make friends initially which is why it's been so lovely for her to have such a stable friendship group for years and years - until now ...

ihatehousework2 Sun 18-May-14 16:26:44

She sounds like a dd to be proud of!
Firstly, hasn't she just been busy with SATs? This probably contributes to a few things whilst at primary. Perhaps any tension which may have been about (I know there shouldn't be any but there is) is manifesting itself only now? Has it just happened before or after SATs?
Secondly, can't girls get like this more so than lads who tend to just ' sort it out' sometimes through physical more hands on approaches?
Like you said, there are a few weeks to go and they could be up and down in terms of friendships because they are awaiting their next school life stages.
Maybe she could steer clear of them for a while..literally a couple of days and see what happens? Also kids can tend to go from one friendship to another over the years, falling out with friends etc. You can support her and listen. These friends are also young, so they too will mature. It's just difficult for you as her mum.

soddinghormones Tue 20-May-14 08:22:31

Thanks ihate - I know there's not much I can do other than be sympathetic but it's horrible watching these children be so bitchy to her when they've spent so much time at our house sad

They're on their y6 trip this week so fingers crossed they're all mixed up to dilute the tensions

Charlotteamanda1 Fri 30-May-14 09:09:26

Welcome to girls !
It's difficult and horrid to watch. Girls can be fowl to each other.
It might be worth her being in a different class to them and meeting new friends. They will be set so she may be in different classes for subjects.
Hold onto your hat - the next couple of years will be a bumpy ride where girls are concerned. Boys just get on with it on the whole. Girls live in a Jeremy Kyle world of drama ! Not all but most to some extent.

Iseenyou Fri 30-May-14 09:23:43

Ah yes, the pointed blanking while cuddling up to someone else. Sympathies to you sh and dd - this sort of thing can be awful. Are there any other girls who dd can invite round, maybe hang out with at school and the social events? Best advice if someone is cold shouldering you? Don't hang around, go off and talk to someone else. For the moment these two are not worth your dd trying to cling onto, though all may change in weeks. But that doesn't address the emotional hurt, which can be excruciating.

As for secondary school, all may change - but to be absolutely honest i think issues can sometimes be carried over into secondary school, so i would say at least stay on civil terms with the two others, but assume they are not going to be best buddies. I would advise dd to join lots of clubs at new school, and be very open to new friends. There should be quite a lot of scope, as presumably there will be quite a big year - 90? Your dd sounds lovely, and a great friend to have.

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