Thoughts on instagram for 12 yr old?

(25 Posts)
guineapig2014 Mon 17-Mar-14 20:46:30

Evening all, my 12 yr old dd keeps hastling me about an instagram account because everyone else at school has one. I don't know much about social media and I'd like to keep her away from it for as long as possible. I've tried to explain my many concerns to her such as cyber bullying but she just isn't getting the message. She tells me that she wouldn't post any pictures of herself but just interesting/funny things that she's found on the internet etc. Just wondering what your thoughts on this are and if you have any advice for me!
TIA xx
smile

guineapig2014 Mon 17-Mar-14 21:09:55

Anyone out there?

17leftfeet Mon 17-Mar-14 21:12:53

Instagram is a bit like twitter but in photos

My concern is how many details can be given away accidentally

Children in school uniform
Local places
Children's bedrooms

My dd is 13 and not allowed it, she is allowed facebook but she has a set of rules and I know her login and she knows I police it

bryonywhisker Mon 17-Mar-14 21:14:26

It's not just about what she can post. It's also about the pictures other people post that she can see.
A friend's young teenage daughter has had her phone taken away until she leaves home, for posting sexually provocative pics. She has a no internet old school nokia now...

guineapig2014 Mon 17-Mar-14 21:15:47

Thanks 17! Anyone else?

There's also lots of dodgy photos that are quite easy to find, eg by searching pretty girls or something. I wouldn't let my daughter on it (she is a bit younger though)

Hulababy Mon 17-Mar-14 21:21:49

DD is 11y and has Instagram. Pretty much all of her friends have too.

I have complete access to her account. It is all secure, with no link to her real name, location or school. We have turned off the location services on her phone too.

DD does have pictures on it, but she has a private account so only her friends she has sees them and can comment/like them.

I have checked and non friends cannot see anything. All non friends see if the very small public profile.

All of DD's Instagram friends are real life friends - and have to be agreed beforehand. Noone can follow her without her agreeing to it.

I think Instagram seems more secure than FB from what I can see at the moment. DD isn't allowed FB - Instagram has different legal rules/restrictions - you don't have t be 13y to join for example, just need to have parental permission if under 11y.

I have also taught DD at lot about internet/online security from being very young. I continue to do so. DD is pretty knowledgable about that kind of thing imo - infact she has written lesson plans for key stage 1 children on the topic and will be teaching those lessons very soon at my school with real children.

I prefer not to bar things unless I feel it is necessary - I prefer to go down the route of education and keeping a close eye. DD knows what I do and don't agree with, and she always checks with me if there is anything vaguely concerning in any way at all.

Hulababy Mon 17-Mar-14 21:22:58

DharmaBumpkin - tbh, that would be the same for the whole of the internet not just Instagram.

Education about safe searching, key words and what to do if something unsavoury or inappropriate does come up.

guineapig2014 Mon 17-Mar-14 21:24:58

thanks all! thanks so what do you think the appropriate age is?

guineapig2014 Mon 17-Mar-14 21:42:22

Should I wait a little bit longer or just let her have an account now?

NurseyWursey Mon 17-Mar-14 21:43:37

I think it would be fine for her to have an account, but make sure her account is private (she has to allow friends access to her photos) and make sure she only follows people she knows.

Nocomet Mon 17-Mar-14 21:57:58

All DD2(13)'s group use instargram and I confess I haven't a clue when she opened the account.

DD2 stopped asking permission to do computers things when she was about 10.

I'm a bad mummy, I do not stress about it, she knows the rules, she had a lap top at 6, they are tattooed on her soul. No real names, no addresses, no school name. Not that that matters much because their bus goes door to door.

She is a child of the web, she could navigate the BBc website before she could read. For good or ill YouTube, instergram and KIK messenger are her world. She got bored of waiting for DH to set up her email account so she just set up her own google one.

Yes I could pick massive fights and try and watch her every move, but she'd hate me and be a 1000x more likely to do something stupid or not tell me something important.

She knows DH is a professional geek, she knows big brother Linux email server could spy. Her laptop is her pride and joy, she wouldn't risk it.

(Also I assume DD1(16) is/or could become her friend in Instagram, I know she uses it occasionally and she would look out for little sis if necessary.)

bbkl Tue 18-Mar-14 10:33:53

Reading this with interest. My 11 year old has been nagging me about Instagram too and I'm doing my homework. It's good that the security can be set tight - but sometimes the most upsetting bullying comes from people they know IYSWIM.

Nocomet Tue 18-Mar-14 10:52:35

As soon as DCs have even the most basic phones they can exchange nasty or just misinterpret-able texts and forward them to their mates without thinking.

Most phones also let you exchange pictures, but at considerable cost, even on my £32 a month iPhone contract they are ~35p, hence the love of instargram sitting at home on free iPod to iPod wifi (or to contract phones which often have unlimited or pretty generous data).

Nocomet Tue 18-Mar-14 10:58:15

Also some of the nastiest bullying DD1 got was actually in lessons. Either whispered nasty comments she couldn't reply to for the risk of getting in trouble for talking. Or simply being left out in group work. Getting pushed into the worst lazy boys group and getting a hard time off the teachers for not joining in properly.

This really upset her, because there is absolutely no escape from a 1/2 term music project with a bunch of wankers. You can delete a nasty text.

guineapig2014 Tue 18-Mar-14 17:26:50

Yes bbkl I agree with you on that one. That is exactly what I am trying to explain to her! Thanks to all those who have replied thankssmile

Hulababy Tue 18-Mar-14 17:28:01

Yes - picture message is very expensive. It isn't included in most contracts and cheapest rate is about 10p a message, often more.

guineapig2014 Tue 18-Mar-14 17:31:10

Yes, that is another thing she has used to persuade me. She said she couldn't text a picture because it would cost way too much for all the people she would be sending it to.

shebird Tue 18-Mar-14 17:50:38

My understanding was that both FB and Instagram were for age 13+ although some 10 year olds in DDs class have Instagram already. I guess it depends on your DD and how clued up she is about internet safety and over sharing. Also depends on trust and your willingness to keep an eye on things.

Hulababy Tue 18-Mar-14 19:05:38

When we set DD's Instagram up it just said with parental permission, not 13+

Hulababy Tue 18-Mar-14 19:09:06

Be careful with age ratings. Sometimes it is because of data stprage at set up rather than content:

For example Minecraft - f you read the developers terms - then you would say it is rated at 3y+ only, just like Facebook:

Age

Minecraft has been rated as suitable for 7+ by PEGI, and for 10+ by ESRB. iTunes has a 4+ rating for their Pocket Edition. Developers Mojang don’t allow anyone under the age of 13 to set up an account meaning any new purchase will have to go through a parent.

mumofthemonsters808 Tue 18-Mar-14 19:24:56

DD 12 has an Instagram account and so do most of her friends. She was allowed it on the condition that I could access it anytime which she agreed to. I keep my eye on it, but so far there has been nothing unusual, just lots of 1D photographs, photo's of days out, friends, pets, food, typical 12 year old stuff.

Agree with the posters who say bullying usually comes from someone they know.

Prepare yourself for your child to take lots of photo's of very mundane things (in particular their tea) and share them with her "followers". There is also great competition to gain as many followers as possible.

Poppylovescheese Tue 18-Mar-14 19:42:13

My ds (12) has Instagram but I have access to the account

guineapig2014 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:46:28

Will had to have a think about it. Part of me just thinks I'm being a harsh and very strict mother and that she should just have Instagram now, yet the other half knows that i should prob wait a little longer to let her have an account. Will have a discussion with her about people could bully her on it, trust, that I would need full control over the account, etc. Any advice on the best way to explain to her and how to word it? Thanks xx smile

guineapig2014 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:54:28

Sorry about my lack of posting btw.

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