12 yo daughter wants clothes too old for her- any thoughts???

[lovelife28]

my 12 year old constantly pesters me for clothes when we are out shopping that i think are too old and inappropriate for her. She tells me all her friends are wearing them but i am concerned she is trying to look older than her age. Anyone else think this or having the same problems?

Thanks x

[Bonsoir]

My DD is 9 and has very strong views on what she will and won't wear. What sort of thing does your DD want?

[lovelife28]

She tends to choose things that are quite revealing and fitted, in my opinion. I don't know whether this is just the current fashion (not really a big follower myself!)
Her interest has only recently developed since going to secondary school, i don't want to hold her back from trying new things with her friends, but i feel the shops aren't helping matters!

[Bonsoir]

Where do you shop?

DD likes her clothes to be quite tight! She wears the skinniest of skinny jeans and would wear strappy vest tops if I let her!

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

Whats wrong with skinny jeans?

Revealing wise - skirts mid thigh, no strapless tops,

[notnowbernard]

I think skinnies are fine but agree not with revealing top (though my dd is 10 not 12...)

Dd likes skinnies, slouchy style tops with a vest underneath and converse style trainers

[lovelife28]

i prefer to shop in places such as next, debenhams etc but she is beginning to venture into stores like h&m, river island and new look. the clothes are from the younger sections but i don't know, there are sometimes a few bits i raise my eyebrows at. Maybe i just need to accept and let her have what she wants, within reason!

she tends to pick out little denim shorts, flouncy skirts (sometimes quite short!) and quite loud t-shirts that often tie at the front. she likes skinnies and converse too.

[notso]

I don't think Next or Debenhams have much to offer 12 yo girls.

My DD wears little shorts with leggings or tights and converse. I don't think they are too grown up but I do have a no bum cheek rule.
She also likes skinny jeans and tight tops but not revealing IYSWIM.

I think you should listen to your DD she is old enough to have her own opinions about her wardrobe, it should be easy for you to compromise though. Happy shopping.

[MrsCakesPremonition]

Sounds like my DD. I let her have stuff, but insist that she layers stuff to keep decent. So leggings under the shorts, vest tops under jumpers etc. We usually manage to negotiate a compromise.

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

I think you need to figure out what the current fashions are among her peer group so you can pre=empt and make good suggestions. I don't mean she has to be a sheep and dress like everyone else, but people do tend to dress similiarly to their friends at that age. So, what do her friends wear? Then you can say 'Yes, denim shorts are fine but wear thick tights underneath and no arse cheek', not 'Oh my those shorts are short, won't you freeze?'

[mymiraclebubba]

i have to say that Next, Debenhams etc have a very child-like view of girls of this age!

At 12 she will be at senior school, so chances are that yes most of her friends probably are dressed like she is saying (i work with kids this age and they do wear tight trousers and strappy partially revealing tops). If you give her some ground rules on lengths of skirts and tops etc then i would let her have her way a bit.

is she your eldest?

[GraduallyGoingInsane]

I think as they get to secondary school it all changes. My DD4 is 10 and isn't really fussed about clothes. She tends to live in skinny jeans, uggs/converse and t shirts.

DD3 is 13 and is incredibly conscious of what she looks like. She's up before school every morning straightening her hair, hoiking up her school skirt and secretly applying forbidden mascara.

She has short skirts, reasonably short shorts (no bum cheeks out here!), short dresses and crop tops and strap tops. She knows she can't pair them together (so short skirt goes with tights and a jumper, not a crop top!)

It's a difficult age, and they constantly push at the boundaries. My older DDs have all picked out things that I've said over my dead body to, but in general the golden rules are no underwear on display ever (so no bumcheek shorts, no bra hanging out of low cut tops) and only one bit of you out at once (so stomach revealing crop tops or lower tops must be with jeans/skirt and tights not shorts or mini skirts).

[Stinklebell]

I have a 12, getting too close to 13 for my liking year old and Next and Debenhams are long gone. She thinks it's too babyish for her

She likes H&M, some stuff in the size 6s from Topshop, Primark, etc and like Gradually above, we have a whole lot of compromise going on

She's not a skirt/dress fan so I don't have that issue, she usually wears skinnies with a top and Vans/Converse/Uggs/ankle boots

We've had a bit of a chat about skinnies/leggings and shorter tops (I hate the look of skinnies/leggings with very short tops and I bought her a load of longer vest tops which she layers under the tops

Actually, layering with longer vests have solved a whole load of arguments

She has a couple of shirts that tie at the front, but they're still long enough to cover all areas

Her current wear-to-death outfit is a pair of light blue jeggings, with a flowery Primark short but loose t-shirt, which she layers with a longer vest underneath. Either that or black skinnies with a big old slouchy jumper, which again she wears with a vest top

She prefers shorter shorts, which are fine if there is no arse cheek hanging out the bottom and she's teemed it with a suitable length top or put a longer vest on under the top.

My rules are no arse hanging out of shorts, no inappropriate slogans, nothing padded in the bra department, longer vests to be worn under short tops, no undies on show, and I reserve the right to put my foot down just "because". I have said no to a few things, a padded bikini top being the most memorable and high heels that made my feet ache just looking at them, but generally she's quite conservative with her tastes

It is hard at this age, she had her own ideas and tastes and she wants to keep up with her mates so I've had to pick my battles