Have i done it wrong???

(3 Posts)
mymiraclebubba Mon 10-Mar-14 23:18:31

i am posting here as frankly i get fed up with being told its nothing to do with me when i discuss my step kids.

My step son is VERY shy and quite immature emotionally although ridiculously smart when it comes to academics. He is 10.5 but emotionally nearer his sister at 8. He is a lovely boy but over the last year he has become increasingly more fascinated with his penis. I am aware this is a perfectly natural development, however, he regularly pulls it out in public and plays with it. He has done this at award presentations for his afterschool activity when his Mum and her boyfriend were there and his dad and i were also. His mum seemed to ignore it and laugh it off where as his dad quietly went over and whispered in his ear (his penis was on full display so i assume his dad told him to put it away etc)

Anyways, DSS has started to do it more and more and i am forever telling him to take his hand out his pants or stop playing in public etc - he is very socially awkward and already suffering an amount of bullying and we are worried this behaviour will give the bullies more ammunition to pick on him, especially as he goes to senior school in september.

His dad is fabulous, but incapable of taking it seriously when it comes to discussing sex etc with his son and as he was alseep at the weekend and i was just getting up i found DSS standing outside our door playing with himself. I took him downstairs and we sat on the sofa and had a friendly chat about when it was/wasn't appropriate to play with himself. I made sure to tell him that he wasn't in trouble and he had done nothing wrong in playing with himself but that there were times and places it wasn't appropriate etc. I asked him to contain it to the bathroom or his bedroom and quietly slipped in that if he needed the sheets changing to let me know and i would sort it out.

He seemed to take it all on board quite well and he did then seem to play with it less during the day but now i am worrying that i have said the wrong thing. DP thinks i am being silly and that i handled it fine and better than he could have but i guess i am after some parental reassurance please!

LastingLight Tue 11-Mar-14 06:50:01

You did exactly what needed to be done. What a pity that neither of his parents stepped up and did it, I can't believe that they let this behaviour continue unchecked. If an adult exposes himself like that he will be arrested and prosecuted.

mymiraclebubba Tue 11-Mar-14 12:46:50

Don't get me wrong dp does but due to his work pattern it tends to be that is with them when it happens.

Dp has tried but his son has some issues and tends to shut down when you try to engage him. Dp then backs off as he can kick off if you push him too much.

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