Situation: I am a lone parent with 2 DS, a neuro-typical 10 yr old and an 8 yr old with High Functioning Autism. We moved to the UK 3 years ago when I split with hubby and I have no family support / network of friends to help me.
DS1 has been a bit unlucky with his schooling, he's only 10 but has attended 4 different schools already: a pre-school, then a primary, then we moved to UK so another primary, then onto his present prep school.
He had a tough time settling in his prep school, it took him a whole academic year to settle and now he's in his 5th term there. In the first term he was bullied, I complained but the school swept it under the carpet, fortunately the bullying did stop, however I was left feeling pretty offended by the school's way of dealing with the situation. In the 2nd term there was an incident where some older boys accessed hardcore porn in the school in front of DS1, then aged 9, who is a sheltered kid & had never even known that kind of stuff existed, he was horrified. I complained again, and again the school responded poorly, they absolutely would not apologize, initially refused to let me speak to the Head about it, tried to deny it etc. The result being that they did sort their filter out, it hasn't happened again but I was left feeling unhappy.
Since then things have kind of settled down, but I have found it very hard to get past my first bad impressions. I have also become aware that the school doesn't suit our family, the 'culture' of the school isn't a great fit at all. For example, this term there are some compulsory events on Saturdays and Sundays which DS1 must attend, but the school is far away and this will mean me and DS2 will lose our weekends as well. I am paying (what I consider to be) a lot of money for DS1 to attend this school and I don't feel happy with it.
DS1 started complaining quite a bit about the school again this term, esp with the compulsory weekend activities, so I arranged for him to visit another school, it's a nice one & a good alternative. But now my son is saying that although the place we viewed today is fine, he doesn't want to move again... sigh... He doesn't like his present school but doesn't feel as strongly as I do, and for him it's not worth the emotional upheaval of changing schools yet again.
Sorry this is so long but ... WWYD? Should I let DS1 decide? He is a bright 10 yr old after all. Or is he too young to take an important decision like this? Is it fair to DS2 (and me) to have to keep going to DS1's compulsory events in the evenings / on the weekends for the next 8 years?
I'd really appreciate some views, many thanks x
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I really don't like my son's school... WWYD?
27 replies
Snowrose1311 · 31/01/2014 15:01
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