ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
Chores for an almost 11 yr old??(22 Posts)
Can I just take a straw pole & ask what kind of chores do you ask & expect your almost 11 yr olds to do...
My dd & I have an ongoing battle about the state of her bedroom .. I only ask her to keep it tidy-ish.. Put books back in cupboard, clothes in the laundry bin etc.. This she can't or won't do!
I also ask her to hang her newly ironed clothes in her wardrobe or put folded items in drawers.. This is another thing she can't seem to do.. Once again today I found it all stuffed under her bed (really not happy about this)
In my opinion she is just out & out lazy but am I asking too much?! She usually has to be reminded to shower & brush her teeth too laziness again I think.
I asked her last night if she wanted me to put the clothes away as I'd rather do that than find them screwed up somewhere & have to re-iron them... I am planning to punish her for it when she gets in from school am I right?!!
At 11 I had to hoover downstairs once a week, tidy bedroom once a week, put the washing on if it needed to be done and make a meal once a week.
Think the problem might be in asking her to do things, if you don't want them to be optional tell her to do them or there is a consequence.
11 Year old dd sets the table, helps to pack away groceries, packs away clean dishes once they're dry, tidies her room on a Saturday before the cleaning lady cleans it, hangs wet laundry, folds dry laundry, packs away her own folded and ironed clothes, puts dirty clothes in the wash. She doesn't do all of it without prompting though, you may have to tell her several times. In the cleaning lady's absence the last couple of weeks she has also been vacuuming and changing her bedding.
10yr + 7yr expected to tidy/hoover/mop their room once a week, and day-to-day put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, put away dishes, sweep floor. I have to remind them but they do do them when reminded. But I have been known to fine them 5p per reminder for leaving dirty socks around.
Who irons her clothes? Can you just leave them crumpled if she doesn't hang them up?
Sometimes they "forget". Would a list pinned up somewhere help? Mine do that when they are asked to come up with a plan to minimise fines.
Thank you for your replies.. I now know I'm not asking too much (I used to do the above & more at her age) & that for last nights laziness she deserves punishment ... So removed her fave gadgets from her room until further notice.
I think she said she would put last nights ironing away so I didn't see the state of the rest of her room!!
I know my problem I'm ashamed to say... As a lone parent I don't want to always be the moaning one... I want to be like fun Disney dad!!
I have a suspicion that there is no such thing as a Fun Disney Dad for a preteen anyway ...
What I mean is, at least in our case, there is no end to this picking-up-socks business and that really grinds you down and it's not clear who can bear up under that and be FDD.
My nearly 11yr old DS takes the dog for a walk at weekends (sometimes under suffrance!), puts his dirty washing in the laundry, empties dishwasher when asked, tidies room when asked, takes charge of collecting up household laundry and getting it going in the washing machine and puts away his ironed and folded clothes (he can't quite coordinate hangers yet!). I should say that he gets a pocket money "top up" for the laundry job but other stuff I just expect him to do.
I don't really understand your point but in my case Dad has none of what I have to put up with so he has no need to moan!!
Dd goes to his house with her weekend bag all packed of freshly ironed clothes.. She stays in his guest room (not her room) there are no traces of an 11 yr old a few soft toys are kept there in a cupboard so not to mess up his guest room.. Her weekend bag comes back with her dirty clothes & belongings stuffed back in it!!! Life of Riley for the pair of them springs to mind.
Previous point to address the Disney dad angle.
11y just recycle clean clothes into the washing heap without putting them away.
if you moan they just do it in a more devious way.
You know and I know it takes no longer to put your clothes away than stuff them somewhere daft until they end up being washed again, but 11y don't.
And certainly don't send iron stuff to her Dad's. Let her pack herself and stop stressing.
Star.. Great idea but I just couldn't, I can't stand seeing people in un-ironed clothes.. Think I get this from my nan who even irons knickers & socks!!!!!
Teach your dd to iron then.
My mum ironed almost everything (not quite socks) and moaned about doing so.
She also put our clothes away because we would have crumpled them.
I guess I decided years ago I couldn't compete. She makes her own pastry too!
Star bunny .. I can't make pastry!! But I guess I am a bit anal about clothes.. Can't stand it if washing basket is even half full, get through tonnes of fabric conditioner so it smells lovely & just short of underwear everything has to be ironed ... I had hoped she would have inherited my obsession but appears she is just as happy creased & scruffy like her dad!!
And I bet he doesn't get to first base compared with my DH, who simply had three heaps in his student digs.
Clean, wearable and dirty. Since everything returned from the laundrette scrunched up, while still warm and slightly damp, in a huge old ruck sack. These heaps were pretty indistinguishable.
Left to his own devices nothing would have changed. I have spent 25 years explaining that even if you don't iron, you still put dry and especially nearly dry things either flat or on hangers. If you scrunch them in a heap you will be made to iron them.
Sadly, the DDs take after their dad and also favour scrunched up on the floor. I think I'd commit murder if I ironed.
Mine is 11yrs old and we do trades. Example if she wants to go somewhere then we say ok but you need to do chores eg clean bedroom dust, brush dog etc, also we try to have a treat every few months I save a little each week, and have a little girlie time. We either go for something to eat or shopping or even just for a walk to discuss how things are going. Don't get me wrong she moans sometimes and it takes a lot to keep her going but she has to learn that we work hard to earn our money and it takes us some time we want to teach her that if you want something you have to earn it. She also leaves her clean clothes on bed/floor so I just say you will lose a treat and it can be anything electrical or one of her clubs. Usually the removal of her phone works wonders at the moment. long may it last. lol
I have three boys aged 12 and 10 (twins). I work part time and from a young age all three have learned to pick up after themselves, make their beds, put folded clean laundry away, clear up the table after dinner and take turns washing the dishes. They work hard and play hard. :-)
My dd is 12 now, but not changed that much since 10:
In turn with her siblings (so about once every 3 days)..... unload / load dishwasher..... lay table / clear table / get everyone drinks to have with meal
Once a week : Cooks the evening meal for us
Is supposed to keep room tidy / put clean clothes away, etc. but this is an ongoing sore point. However, it remains a tip if she doesn't do it, I don't do it for her.
Now and then, when asked... odd bits like go and collect the washing from the baskets around the house, or empty the tumble drier, or put away the supermarket shop, but no 'fixed' wekkly or daily thing with that
DD who is 10 is a terror when it comes to her room.
However does mow the lawn and washes the car, both of which she gets paid for. Also helps with the veg patch which she does receive money for but as DH pointed out to her she gets to eat the veggies
- emptying dishwasher
- feeding chickens, letting them out in morning, locking them up at night, topping up water
- hoovering living room, sweeping dining room
- keeping bed made and bedroom tidy
- cleaning bedroom (dusting, hoovering, etc)
He is 10. Needless to say, he needs reminding most of the time (there is always something more interesting to be done!). The deal is that he gets pocket money if he helps out, rather than directly paying him for chores. We'll add more to the list as he gets older, and change some jobs for less easy ones, passing those on to his younger brother in time.
There is no way I want my sons to grow up not knowing how to look after their homes and themselves.
Join the discussion
Please login first.