12yo ds watching porn

(10 Posts)
natellie1970 Tue 19-Nov-13 15:02:12

I've found out that ds has been using my phone to look at pretty girls and probably a bit of porn (200 quid later!!) I have no problem with this (apart from the phone bill) to me it's a natural part of growing up but someone at work told me I should stop him cos he's way too young. Am I being too soft with him I don't want him to feel ashamed of what's going on with his body.
Am I right or is my colleague right?

Ferguson Tue 19-Nov-13 18:00:11

Depends how 'strong' the porn is I guess. If you 'ban' it, that might make it seem more desirable, and a challenge to look at.

It is easy to get to quite 'strong' porn without charge, but if you can discuss with him what the boundaries are and he is sensible, it may not harm. Don't think there is a definitive 'right or wrong'. as different people have different standards and different lifestyles.

PantsInWash Tue 19-Nov-13 21:34:40

He's certainly too young to understand how porn can be so degrading to men and women, and what effects this may have on his ability to develop normal, healthy relationships. You need to talk to him about what he's seen, explain what porn is and stress that it does NOT represent normal sexual behaviour. Then block it if you can.

HectorVector Tue 19-Nov-13 21:40:32

Hhmm having just seen a story in the news about a 13 year old boy who became addicted to porn and raped an 8 year old girl I'd say you need to have a big chat with him. Of course I'm not saying he's going to go raping anyone, but porn should not be encouraged or considered 'a natural part of growing up'.

Experimenting sexually, having sexual thoughts, masturbating are all 'a natural part of growing up', porn is not.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 19-Nov-13 21:47:49

Agree with Hector

Sorry, but not keeping tabs on your phone has enabled him to do this, internet access needs to be supervised imo.
We all make mistakes, our dc don't come with hand books.
This is so wrong imo and not normal growing up.
Maybe at one time it was considered as such, but the content now is far too much.

meditrina Tue 19-Nov-13 21:50:39

You can be unashamed of your body without ever going near pornographic images.

What exactly has he been looking at?

trolleycoin Tue 19-Nov-13 21:58:19

At 12 years old I would think its normal for boys and girls to begin to wonder what its all about, most will have hit puberty etc.

What would worry me is just what they can access online: there is loving couples at one end of the spectrum to goodness only knows what at the other end of the spectrum and for me that would be the bigger issue - how do you control what he sees and how he interprets this in a 12 year old mind.

IMO, have a chat with him, say why you've blocked it, explain what "normal healthy" ??? sexual activity is and that the world of the internet is a sick place, with things on there that he, nor anyone should ever see.

natellie1970 Wed 20-Nov-13 06:38:29

Thanks for all your replies I have spoken to him and he says he's only been looking at pretty girls I have explained what porn is all about and he says he hasn't seen any he's not a great liar so I do believe him

bumbumsmummy Wed 20-Nov-13 06:44:03

Please don't let him you should watch the channel 4 documentary about how porn actually affects a child brain it's truly shocking

bumbumsmummy Wed 20-Nov-13 06:45:45

There is a website that explains to young people about sex etc that was on the programme also let him use that a resource for secondary information

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