8 Year Old DD - Kissing Boy in Toilet at School Disco!

[MLP]

My year 3 DD (just turned 8 this month) cheerfully announced to me as I picked her up from the school disco this week, "Good news! I have an official boyfriend, XXXX. We went to the toilet and kissed. Don't tell anyone."

My gut reaction was a confused mix of internal laughter at the ridiculous concept of my DD "having an official BF" at 8 - I didn't have one until well into my teens - with a real sinking feeling of "oh, no" - this is far too early to have any kind of BF, even an innocent/fleeting one, and I am really don't like the whole going to the toilet for a kiss malarkey.

I am glad she feels close enough to me to tell me about it and she seems quite excited about it. It appears that there was an element of pairing off at the disco, which seems normal, and part of it seems to be relief that someone picked her. She is a beautiful looking girl and I have often worried about her future (in her teens) but now I am starting to be concerned about the next few years as well. I had flashes of her as a 14 YO coming home some evening and saying, "Good news - you're going to be a grandmother!"

Am I over-reacting? She has often expressed feelings for boys in her class (usually the geeky, top of the class ones) and doesn't understand why they don't reciprocate the feelings (instead of playing football or war, as any normal boy would).

Any advice on how I should deal with it? Our approach as parents has been to encourage her to focus on her studies and after school clubs and not worry about what the boys think. She is very in touch with her "feelings" and invariably gets hurt by this type of thing, so we can't just dismiss her/it out of hand - otherwise I fear she won't turn to us when she is older and we need to be there for her. Thanks

[BumgrapesofWrath]

I think you may be overreacting a little (sorry!)

I had a boyfriend when I was 8, and it was very innocent. I think at that age they are just "playing" at it really.

Also, despite having a boyfriend at 8, I got scared of boys in my early teens and then got serious boyfriend, lost virginity etc at 16, so don't jump the gun!

[LOLisNOTaPunctuationMark]

I'd be very concerned about them having the opportunity to sneak into the same toilet together. But then again, I am very PFB.

My 5yo came out of school last week telling me she had kissed 3 boys at playtime! Upon further questioning, i realised she had been chasing the boys around trying to kiss them and the poor boys didn't want to be kissed.

Words were had. But i foresee my dd being very into 'boyfriends and kissing' when she gets older.

[ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER]

Tell her that's lovely and change the subject. It's perfectly normal at her age and means absolutely nothing :) Most of the time children don't even tell their parents about it because it's a non issue or 'not for parents'.

LOL - what do you think is going to happen? Do you expect 2 teachers to stand outside the toilets at all times?

[changeforthebetter]

[coughs] I stood outside the girls' loos at DD's disco. its on the parent helper rota! I would certainly stop boys going into the girls' and vice versa. am sure it would probably be innocent but there are separate facilities and they should be used properly. op if it's any consolation, DD (8) is forever talking about boyfriends etc. she is also very insecure. it makes me for adolescence.

[lljkk]

awwww… it's good she talks to you.
I have told off yr3s for kissing openly on the floor at disco. At least she tried to be discrete.

[MLP]

Thanks for all the answers. I am obviously an old prude! I guess I was a geeky kid who never did any of that stuff (don't even think I went to a single school disco when I was young - wasn't interested).

Glad to hear it is pretty normal and I was over-reacting (thought I might have been).

[EverythingIsSoThrowback]

I wouldn't worry - my DD1 got 'married' in year 4!