Talking to DD (12) tonight, I told her that for 5 days of her 2 week half-term, we'll be going overseas with my DP to his holiday home. They get on ok and she's previously been very excited at the prospect of starting to spend some of our holidays in Europe with him. I booked 5 days to ensure she still had plenty of time to spend with her friends on the second week.
Her reply to me was "I'm not going away to stay there in the holidays, in fact, I'd rather go and stay with my dad - in fact, I will".
Now, the thing that is really pissing me off is she has spent the past 2 years absolutely refusing to spend any time or contact at all with her dad (who moved to the US) and this has resulted in a bitter and costly (£000s) court battle which is still ongoing. She doesn't want to see him on the basis that he's selfish, boring, unpleasant, inactive, a control freak etc. and she would rather be home with me and her friends.
I've persuaded her to agree to spending 2 weeks of her summer holidays with him in future but believe me, that was under duress.
Now it's like I've completely wasted my time, money and sanity on this cause and to be honest I feel stupid, like I've been carried away by the whims of a 10 year old.
One the basis of what she said, would it be in my interests to just make her spend the time that her dad wants here there and forget about her opinions on the matter?
I think she needs to understand that her dad will probably use her plan to visit him as a weapon in the court case - he will be able to use it as evidence that she's just a fickle teen who changes her mind on a whim. I would give her the chance to calm down and try and establish whether she really meant it or whether it was just said in the heat of the moment.