Need some help please! 11 yr old ds is normally nice, kind etc but I have noticed lately that when he loses his temper he immediately shouts, screams and starts to say the f word very very loudly and aggressively. This is happening maybe twice a day but I really want to nip it in the bud and make it very obvious that its not acceptable as hes quite a big built, tall 11 yr old and I really don't want an aggressive verbal big teenager on my hands. Have also noticed a tendency to throw something (ie tv remote) if its in his hands when tantrum hits. Help!
I have one of those, I don't have any magic words of advice really though. I do try to ensure that consequences are instant and not prolonged, for example he may lose his phone for the next hour, my husband would say 'right that's it, no phone or Xbox for a week'. In my experience long punishments just don't work because then the kid feels they have nothing else left to lose and carry on with the unacceptable behaviour. Also give loads of praise for acceptable language use. Sorry I have no real words of wisdom, it is bloody hard isn't it?
We made language a non-issue as long as the swearing isn't in front of kids/teachers. And no calling people anything foul or vile.
We even laughed at swearing and challenged DC to find an even more creative phrase. The usual f, s etc words hold no importance now. And DC resorts to finding silly phrases - which helps diffuse the anger or tantrum, too.
No help on the physical part, sry.
And I do like the idea of shorter periods of removal of electronics. I've been one of those "for a week" consequences. Hasn't been working well for me.