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inappropriate images on ipod/kindle(9 Posts)
Im having a dilemma. My ten yrold daughter has an ipod and kindle fire. I look on there regular to check what's she's up to etc. Today I found that she had looked up womens vaginas and of course my first reaction was 'oh my god'. But now im thinking is this normal? Is she just interested in finding out whats going on with her as she is developing quickly.
I don't know how to approach it. I want her to feel comfortable coming to me if she has any questions not looking on the Internet where bad images and alsorts come up. Im also annoyed as I have parental control on there but it seems it only stops kids from downloads not accessing the Internet with bad websites on.
I would ask her. She probably is curious and might have noticed changes going on in her own body. Or maybe start a chat about puberty and bodies?
Did she know the word before. Perhaps she heard it at school and didn't know what is was but knew it was a bit taboo.
When I was nine, I built myself up to looking up the word 'flares' in the encyclopaedia in the library as I'd herd it bandied about. "I'm not being your partner, you've got flares".
Savoy - that made me laugh!
OP - I don't have a child that age, so I'm not talking out of any experience here. If she knows you check, then perhaps you could mention it in a conversational way, "I saw you'd been looking at vaginas, what did you think?" - and mention the difference between caging and vulva.
If she doesn't know and you don't want her too know, perhaps a chat (sorry no suggestions on how other than "conversational") about women's bodies could open up the subject.
A while ago I came across a link (pretty sure it was on here) to a project where women posted pictures of their vulvas. It was not pornographic, but very explicit (photos of vulvas kind of are by default!) and blew my mind! At age 33, I had NO IDEA that women's genitalia differed so greatly. I'd seen my own, anatomical diagrams which were very similar to my own and the porn style which wasn't that different either. At the beginning I was quite put off (was looking on a big screen!), but as I looked I could start to see the beauty in the differences and was really amazed that I'd never known how much we differ.
I never had any hang ups about my genitalia, but I didn't grow up in an era when porn was so easily available and cosmetic labiaplasty was becoming more common (specifically to look more like the porn norm). It did occur to me that if girls were taught about the physical differences we have and to appreciate that, it might not be a bad thing in today's world.
Not sure if that really helps though. It does seem you need to be ok with the discussion first though as if you're not, she'll pick up on it and regardless of what you say, she won't feel comfortable being open with her questions.
* vulva, not caging!! Autocorrect!!
Sorry - difference between vagina and vulva...!
Thanks for replies it has helped. We spoke last night and I was honest with her when she asked questions. I did explain that sometimes images on the Internet portrait the wrong idea and can come up with not very nice images. She seemed comfortable talking to me.asked about periods, about the dangling thing we have (clitoris) so In the end the conversation went well.
I only worry that she will see bad things on the Internet and think its how sex is or shld be.
I find it difficult having a daughter of this age and not knowing the right thing to say or do for her.
It is difficult with daughters and media/ Internet portrayal of women. I started by chatting about adverts, what's the trick? Why are they saying that? Then moving onto images being altered and fake. And then of course the Internet, people can say or show stuff and it's not real or inappropriate. These chats I had over a fairly long period of time, probably a year or so. But it was worth it as my dd quite clued up now, but I still drum in Internet safety.
Sounds like your dd is comfortable enough to ask you which is half the battle.
Thanks rum, I may do that too then. Good idea. It's so difficult with girls, I'm sure if I had a son too I'd worry just as much but for some reason having two girls and one of which is reaching teenager hood is scaring the hell out of me. I always think what if I mess up with what I say or I do it all wrong.
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