Friendship Issues again - DD year4

[shebird]

My DD (9) has been having an ongoing issue with one of her circle of friends. There are 4 of them that hang about together, 3 of them are very good friends and do a lot of afterschool activities together and then theres this 'mean girl' whos become part of the gang. This girl has been making mean comments like 'oh you're so annoying' or 'your silly' etc. which upsets my DD so she goes off and plays with another group. This seems to suit 'mean girl' as she has got DD out of the picture. It seems she has been upsetting one of the other girls also with the aim of having one of them all to herself. She is also a big tell tale and looks for any opportunity to tell teacher about trivial things. If my DD stands up for herself 'mean girl' makes a huge fuss with tears and drama and tells the teacher so DD avoids any conflict with her and she gets away with it.
Is this ongoing niggling just girls being girls or is it low level bulling? DD is terrified of causing a fuss but I cannot let it go on next year if its making her sad. Do I get school involved of let them work it out?

[lottieandmia]

These sorts of issues are really common in year 4 - I have a dd the same age. If your dd is being excluded and picked on in a sustained way and feels bullied, then it needs to be talked about with the teacher. I bought my dd an American Girl book called The Smart Girl's Guide to friendship and that really seems to have helped her.

In my dd's class everything was fine until a few mean girls joined and upset things with their stirring and trouble making. It annoyed me but then I thought well she will have to deal with these people at work and so the way to learn best is at school.

[shebird]

Thanks lottieandmia, I have very much encouraged DD to get on with things and I'm hoping that summer holidays and a bit of time apart will help. I will have a look at that book it sounds good.

[lottieandmia]

I hope she feels better soon. It is horrible when your child is getting upset by others at school but usually it does pass (ime) and I think they get hormonal at this age too and that seems to have an effect as well.