Have friendships changed in Year 7?

(10 Posts)
BackforGood Wed 17-Jul-13 23:51:04

I think it's really common. Both ds and dd went up to secondary with a few, good friends, but both drifted apart from them in Yr7, and made other, new friends. they never fell out or had any nastiness, just grew slightly apart or maybe just grew closer to other, new friends.

MadeOfStarDust Mon 15-Jul-13 18:34:35

We are going through the preteen friendship Y7 angst now.... DD and her BFF have split up due to her BFF "choosing" another BFF.... god there have been some tears - they have been excluding DD, running away, hiding, getting in her face "why are you so upset" etc...

Had a bit of an epiphany at the weekend when I turned to her and said - "if you feel miserable when you are with them, they are not your friends."
Now she is putting some distance in there and mixing with others and feeling much happier today...

Dancergirl Sun 14-Jul-13 20:14:49

Yes my dd's have. She's had a good year at school but the friends she's close to now weren't the same ones as when she started back in September. As far as I can tell, no-one's been mean, it's just 'friendships shift' (her words).

mumofthemonster that sounds truly horrible. Well done to your dd smile My dd also won a prize, she's very modest and shy and didn't tell anyone until the day of the prize giving. Apparently the other girls couldn't find her at registration as she had to go and sit in the hall with the other prizewinners and when they found out she'd won, they made a real fuss of her. It was so sweet. I hope next year brings nicer friendships for your dd.

SovaMaminka Fri 12-Jul-13 18:07:38

Yes, OP, my DD (end of y7) has changed friends an awful lot in secondary school. Her and her bf found a girl they thought was just like them only to find out she was, no way around it, a bitch. They have swapped friendship groups a thousand times although other girls have stayed in the same ones. (luckily she is with bf though.)
Trying to convince dd that she needn't make the effort of seeing this girl if she is not being friendly, to much avail.

sensesworkingovertime Wed 10-Jul-13 14:30:56

Hi monsters808 well done to your DD and my goodness what horrible 'friends'! Sounds like you handled it well.

Yes OP I find my DD yr 6 currently soon to be yr 7 friends have constantly changed the last few years although the past few months have been a bit smoother. However I am strapping myself in for the rollercoaster of starting High school and fully expect to go loop the loop....

mumofthemonsters808 Wed 10-Jul-13 10:48:04

I'm praying my DD changes her friends in year 7.We went to her school's presentation evening and DD won the prize in her year for Maths. Followed by her so called friends not speaking to her because they did not win anything. She did not boast about getting the prize just collected it and sat down. DD very upset that they did not clap for her just scowled and whispered then ignored her for the rest of the evening. I'd understand if she was a golden child who always got certificates or prizes but this is the only time she has got any reward. A similar thing happened in PE when she was on the winning team the girls fell out with her over this.

I gave her a long talk on how real friends do not resent achievements and how this behaviour will continue in secondary school if she does not move on from them. We'll see how it maps out but I'm not holding my breath

Frogger67 Wed 10-Jul-13 10:30:20

My dd has always been on the fringes and it hasn't always been easy. She made a giant step this year and joined a school further from home because she got into a selective school. Most of the time the girls have got along in year 7 but there have been some big bust ups. I have come to the conclusion it is a right of passage. I worry that dd doesn't have a special friend to confide in but then wonder if she is better off. Bringing up children is hard work especially when you are not sure yourself!!

TheMoonOnAStick Wed 10-Jul-13 10:22:42

Btw I've been trying to impress on dd1 that it's ok to walk away from anyone, no matter how long you've known them, if they are making you miserable.

My poor dd is a loyal soul and will run herself ragged trying to fulfill what she sees as an obligation in being a good friend to people who frankly no longer deserve her friendship <reins in urge to march in and have a word with protagonists>

TheMoonOnAStick Wed 10-Jul-13 10:16:32

My dd's did. Over the last year (she's now at the end of yr9) things suddenly imploded. Girls esp can be absolute horrorssad

Yr 7/8 it all became very intense then lord some of them didn't half change and not for the better. Some she'd known for years at primary. I'm praying they'll have all matured somewhat when they return in Sept.

Mind you by then dd2 will be starting in yr7 and I'll have to go through it all again...hmm

Tigerblue Wed 10-Jul-13 10:06:34

This isn't an issue, but just wondering how many friendships have changed with going to a new school and growing up.

My daughter had her two closest friends in her tutor group. One she is getting on really well with, the other there have been so many fall outs - the other girl is being nasty in my opinion and then my daughter retaliates. Lucky the school are totalling supporting my daughter on issues which have come to their attention, so it's a relief they feel the same as me. It just such a shame after 9 years of friendship.

She has met two others girls who came from other schools, one of which she is very close to. Also, she now seems to be getting on well with two girls who she didn't have much to do with in her old class in primary school.

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