Concerns about DD's friendship. Should I do anything, and if so what?

[MrsTrunchbull]

DD has a new friend who joined her school earlier this year. Seemed lovely at first but I am increasingly concerned about her behaviour.

She's a very forceful personality, and incidents recently include getting DD's phone and making nasty bullying calls to DD's best friend that she's had since reception. Saying things like "We're having a sleepover and you're not invited" This was on a week night and a complete lie. She'd popped in to our house for 10 mins. She's caused a lot of rifts at school and also seems very good at getting DD to do her bidding including giving her money that she (and I) can't afford to give.

DD is not very assertive and struggles to stand up to her. Part of me wants to discourage the friendship but also I don't think she's someone you'd want as an enemy.

They are both Y6 and DD has put her down to be in her class next year, but I really wish she hadn't. Should I just stay out of it? I'm tempted to phone the school and ask them to put them in separate classes but they are releasing the class lists this Thursday so it's probably too late.

[Notmyidea]

mention it to school! Even if it can't be changed it will give them a hint to keep an eye open. I considered asking for dd2 not to be placed with thug and thugette and decided not to be petty as she's quite resilant. She's ended up with both of them and a newly qualified form tutor.

[mumof2monsters]

you should speak to the school and explain. She sounds like a bad influence and if they ar together at high school your DD will be tarred with the same brush and may struggle to make new friends. Explain to the school the situation and I am sure they will sort it. Good luck.

[MrsTrunchbull]

Thanks. Yes I think I will have a word. I am going to a meeting next week to meet the tutor so I think it would be better to do it face to face. I've had a chat to DD too and she's going to try to be more assertive. We've put a PIN on the phone and she's going to start saying NO to giving her money. Thanks

[Madmog]

As others have said, it won't do any harm mentioning your concerns to the school. One positive thing about moving on, firstly your daughter will meet new girls in her tutor group. Also, they will be put into sets for most subjects (my daughter is setted for 10 subjects according to ability, the group of 3 other subjects are do with whether you play a musical instrument) so she may find this other girl isn't with her much of the time and they both make new friends. My daughter has none of her old friends in music. She is also mentioning lots of other girls and I've had three back here. If your daughter finds a new possible friend, do all you can to encourage it.