Are mine the only ones who have toddler trantrums?

[AdoraBell]

Nearly fucking twelve and we Get tears and screaming at the slightest little thing. I've had enough.

Anyone else's 12yr olds do this?

[exoticfruits]

Just treat her exactly like a toddler and ignore. When she comes out just say, in a bored tone, 'if you want to be listened to you will have to converse calmly'. If you find her difficult to ignore lock yourself in the loo, read a book or similar and tell her to let you know when she has finished.
Keep calm and bored.

[insanityscratching]

No mine doesn't because she learnt as a toddler that they didn't work. I'd second what exotic says appear bored, pay no attention and whatever you do don't let the tantrum alter a thing it's only when they realise they are pointless they don't bother to try it on anymore.

[AdoraBell]

Well she had learnt as a Toddler that it doesn't work but she seems To have regressed, nothing to do with daddy giving in of course

Will practice my bored look, last night she came downstairs whaling and I walked away leaving her To it. She does already know that I don't listen To yelling.

Thanks

[insanityscratching]

That's it then Daddy has taught her that they work and so she has an incentive to tantrum. Dd isn't the problem dh is if he doesn't see that giving in to a tantrum isn't very clever. Will he listen to you and present a united front with you? Dh backs me and I back him in front of dd even if later on we disagree in private.

[AdoraBell]

I've spoken To him about it loads, part of his problem is he has hearing loss and he seems To view it as being my problem To deal with, he always says he'll back me up. I need To speak To him again about being consistant. He used To think that giving in was the best approach as it worked instantly.

[cory]

Dd had proper meltdowns until the age of 10, nothing to do with anybody in the family ever giving in to them. Perhaps she was just a bit slow on the uptake.

The good news is, she is a very mature and reasonable teen.

But you do need to act under-impressed and make sure you get your dh on board.

[valiumredhead]

Oh yes! Never underestimate how dramatic a pre teen can be

[Joiningthegang]

Yes

[exoticfruits]

If it is any encouragement DS had them up to 12yrs and then was a lovely teenager.

[AdoraBell]

She's really lovely when she's not behaving like a toddler, and thinking about it 9/10 it is reacción to OH or something he's promised and not done. Fe, she's currently cleaning her turtle's tank and has crackt it. Came down in a bit of a huff, but not a trantrum and I just told her fill it and see if it leaks, no drama.

OH is a bit of a drama llama so I reckon she's feeding off him so I'm going to gag him and stuff him in a cupboard

[Turniptwirl]

Everything is the end of the world at this age just as it is for a toddler.

In calmer moments try and offer some alternative ways of dealing with things that go wrong like going to their room to calm down.

[AdoraBell]

Oh yes, and the whole would is against her! She used to write, has a trantrum box but I think she thinks she's too old for that now, despite having trantrums. Will see if we can come up with some moré solutions.

Thanks