Worried about other people's kids!

(4 Posts)
Nicolabd Wed 20-Mar-13 22:30:13

Hi, I've never posted on here before, but something keeps going over & over in my mind & I'm not sure if I should act on it or leave well alone! DD has just secondary school, and although she has settled in well, she has mentioned a couple of girls who have 'no friends'. 1 stands on her own every break time and apparently is a bit smelly, looks different etc. the other has tried to make friends with dd but dd isn't a very strong person & is worried about the ramifications if they become friends, plus she doesn't think the girl is particularly friendly anyway (very negative etc) and lastly this girl has said that she has anger issues as her dad says things to her that upset her (which tbh has set alarm bells ringing!).do I (anonymously so Dd doesn't get involved) advise the school so they can keep an eye on the 2 girls or just stay out of it??? Ps sorry to waffle but any advise will be appreciated!!

needanewnickname Wed 20-Mar-13 23:59:34

Personally I would stay out of it. Obviously it's very sad that some children don't have an easy time of it, but ultimately you just can't be responsible for every child. I would see my responsibility as being to bring my own son up understanding that it's wrong to pick on others for being different, but I wouldn't contact the school in the circumstances you describe.

Mumofjz Thu 21-Mar-13 11:25:15

Awww it's hard isn't it? If this was going on at Primary, i think most parents would probably say something to the teacher but once it's high school, i think teachers as less accesable, you don't know who looks after who etc... You would think that the school would be aware of these girls and there are usually very close links with primary feeder schools and the high school are usually involved with the primary shcool over the children to look out for etc... (in my area anyway!)

I think i would probably stay out of it, nothing has been said to raise concern as such (my child has anger issues if dad says things that upset her, like tidy your bedroom or no computer games etc... you don't know the background and can presume the worse or not!) and most schools will operate a system where children who are struggling to settle in/find friends can go.

Not sure what is right or wrong! sorry

syl1985 Fri 05-Apr-13 03:49:04

If you've any worries it's best to give the school a ring. You can't look after these kids, because they're not your own and you don't know them.

But you could contact the school and they might keep an eye on these girls or have a chat with them.

The thing with teenagers who are on their own they are an easy target for bulling. Bulling could destroy someone's life. Bulling only happens if everyone turns away their heads, because it's not their business to do something about it.

Like the smelly girl for example.
It's normal that she's on her own, because people don't like someone who smells odd. But if this girl doesn't know this or doesn't know what to do about it. Then she'll stay alone and an easy target for bulling. Her parents might not notice this or ignore this problem.

The girl who has got a problem with her father and has got an anger problem. Might need some special attention/care/help.

I'd call the school and tell them about these girls and that you were wondering if someone of the school could have a chat with them or just check that they're ok.

It's a quick phone call and you can stop worrying about them as you've done all that you're able to do.

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