At my wits end with dd Please help.

(9 Posts)
MariusEarlobe Wed 30-Jan-13 09:31:37

She is ten and in year 5, she has some Sen so is quite literal. Up to the last six months I had a lovely well mannered little helpful girl.

Now she argues at bloody everything, she has no stop switch so she hits the point where kids think oh no I'm going to get told off and keeps going, she then gets told off and still continues arguing with me! She speaks to me like I am a piece of poo on her shoe.

She's apparently "like a little mouse" at school, at home she has been awful for months, she does not listen, she's careless, she knows bloody everything, she's pretty damn rude! She won't help with anything.

She doesn't give a stuff if I remove privileges. She looks at me like dirt if told off

This morning she knew better that she could sit on the floor and eat breakfast, I told her she had to sit on a chair, she argued and ended up with milk all over her, her hair, my trousers, the carpets. She wasn't even bothered.

I want my nice girl back.

Out of interest, why couldn't she eat breakfast on the floor? You or I wouldn't, but it's not the end of the world if she choses to.

My guess, judging by her age, would be hormones, and to just keep calm, pick your battles and walk away when you've said your piece. she will look at you like dirt when told off - she's not supposed to like it! Ignore it.

ThingummyBob Wed 30-Jan-13 09:36:40

No advice how to handle this sorry Marius sad

My dd is 12 now and still going strong on the strops...

I do console myself with the memory that I was pretty horrid to my family too at this age, but was always lovely out if the home if that helps?

I did grow eventually into a strong willed normal adult, so there is hope for our dds grin

MariusEarlobe Wed 30-Jan-13 09:44:15

Fire because she is Dyspraxic so drops things and sitting on the floor with her knees up and the bowl balanced while she ate was an accident waiting to happen.

She speaks to me like dirt the whole time even when I'm asking normal things like what would you like for dinner!

Notmyidea Wed 30-Jan-13 18:28:21

was just about to come and make a similar post because I've just lost it with mine!
No respect whatever and now her latest trick is to claim to be scared of me. If she was there is no way in hell she'd behave the way she does! Then I feel really crap because I feel really angry, but wouldn't actually do her any harm.
She's another one who is perfectly behaved at school, just saves it all for homesad
Lots of sympathy! I'll be following the thread for ideas, too.

preferthedog Wed 30-Jan-13 23:22:15

You all make me feel SO much better. DD is 11 soon, Y6, very tall, fully developed, moody,would argue about anything. Sits on her arse, avoids the shower, answers back, always pushes for that little bit more....... She has very few friends as she's in a small village school which is pretty clicky. I'm hoping big school is better. We fight all the time and I really do not like her at the moment. My problem is, I'm so ground down with her, I'm past caring which is sad. I have a DS1 who is the opposite so I must be doing something right!! I have a complicated part-time job, my husband works away all week and I feel pretty isolated. I do try to be strict, but it always ends up in a slanging match - tonight I threw a pile of clean washing at her which had sat on her desk since Saturday. How bloody pathetic was that?!! I could just run away tonight sad(

BluelightsAndSirens Wed 30-Jan-13 23:28:49

I couldn't read and run especially after seeing your very apt NN Preferthedog

DD makes me feel very guilty for asking her to keEp her room tidy, she is constantly on Skype and then complaining about arguments on there but won't get off line.

She does the terrified thing with me to even if I just turn abruptly to tell her for the 5th time what I need her to do.

She is lazy, won't shower without a battle, dis organised etc

At least we are not alone!

ELR Wed 30-Jan-13 23:30:58

Same here dd is 10 and I get cheek, dirty looks and back chat all the time. Myself and DH have just been away for 5 days to NYC inlaws looked after kids said she was an angel! Did her own hair was dressed every day in 5 minutes bathed every other night, no back chat r fighting with her brother ect ect. Then this morning half an hour to get dressed she hates me and I'm worst mother ever for not helping her do her hair, and the breakfast I gave her was rubbish!

I'm hoping this is the teenage years early and she will be lovely at 13, here's hoping!

preferthedog Wed 30-Jan-13 23:34:10

That's reassuring. She runs screaming through the house for maximum effect shouting "leave me alone, don't hurt me". I wouldn't, but tempting sometimes! Then she'll call her dad who's away all week and call me too bad to burn. He's really supportive of me and has a great way of calming her. But I know he is concerned with me losing control also in case I go too far. I wouldn't and couldn't, I just want some respect, and a bit of peace!!

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