How do I convince 11yo DD to attend CAMHS appointment with me?

(4 Posts)
Yogagirl17 Mon 21-Jan-13 17:32:21

I find my DD (11, almost 12) extremely challenging at times - always have, ever since she could walk and talk! But now, between hormones and her dad & I splitting up her behaviour sometimes goes beyond challenging and becomes totally unmangeable. She flies into these rages which can last for hours. She will scream, slam doors, grab me, shove me, shove DS (9) etc. It doesn't happen often but when it does I feel so helpless and have no idea how to cope with her.

Anyway, I've got a referral for a CAMHS appointment and want to take her along next week but she's adamanet that she's not going. I've tried asking her what she's worried about/why she doesn't want to go. I've tried explaining that I just don't like how upset we all get when she has one of her tantrums and I think we need some advice on better coping skills. Nothing seems to get through to her.

I haven't really offered her a choice and I am determined that we will go but how can I talk her round?

MrsHBaby3 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:14:26

Bribery?!
I guess worst scenario is you have to go alone, and explain to CAMHs. Perhaps give them a call first?

HeyHoHereWeGo Fri 08-Feb-13 12:19:09

She will be getting more and more anxious about it so limit the amount of talk time. Dont spend hours persuading her.
Bribe her - you can go to cinema/whatever after the week after we go
Threaten her - I would be too worried about you to let you go to the cinema/ whatever unless we all go to the appointment
Honesty - if I go alone they'll only hear my side of things and that wont be fair on you
Finally - give her something else to focus on - something active, get bust changing round her room, painting it, going for a big hike together, some project that brings you closer and makes her physically tired!

Notmyidea Fri 08-Feb-13 22:12:31

I like hey-ho's honesty idea and the one about wearing her out. Good luck!

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