Ds is 12. Is a mostly well behaved and polite child.
Can be very lazy, messy and a touch ungrateful at times.
In the past when he has not done as asked (tidying room, helping around the house etc) he has either been grounded (only a day or two) or had his ps3 removed.
He had a laptop for xmas and was told if he didnt look after it he would have it taken away. Found it last week with a big crack in it. Took it straight off him .
Since then he had been exeptionally lazy. Not washing or brushing teeth. Same boxers on for days etc, even when asked repeatedly to sort himself out. His room is minging. Mouldy food and cups stuffed in drawers with brand new clothes.
He has been asked to go to bed a bit earlier than normal to get ready for school for sunday night. I caught him playing on his ps3 when he thought I was sleeping.
I have given him loads of warning s that if he didnt buck up his ideas he would lose the ps amd all the nice things he had for xmas. He hasnt listenedso everything is gone from his room. Tv, ps, phone amd all the new clothes he had.
He's gone over his dads today and is refusing to come home.
No. I have found that my dd's 15 & 11 will push and push until we dramatically say enough is enough. It only happens once or twice a year. Thankfully
Give him a chance to 'earn' the stuff back. Tidy room = something back. I put it down to boundary testing. It seems to come from nowhere and disappears just as quickly. I would describe my dc's as great kids too. Perhaps they need to rebel just a little regardless?
I take things away all the time when they don't look after things. I do think though some things you should deal with though.
Stop letting him take food upstairs, if he can't bring cups and things back down, and stop letting him have breakfast until he has showered and cleaned his teeth.
I don't have time to stand over them, but I do smell checks of hair and teeth if I suspect they aren't cleaning themselves!
I have a 10 year boy and I caught him arguing with one of the dts (7) a few weeks ago, absolutely insisting that pants only needed changing every other day <thud> I think he is changing them daily now!
do you have a set arrangement for visits/custody. I think you both maybe need to back each other up on where he is supposed to be so that he can't play either of you off each other, or that is going to cause real problems in the future.
Ah so he's dividing and conquering.... even though you are divided. That's tougher. Can you talk to your ex and come up with a plan? Can you wait it out this time? By which I mean will his Dad want him to go home to you at some point, when that time comes you can discuss discipline?
He isnt allowed to take food upstairs, this is part of the issue. Being sneaky about things.
We have a set agreement for access but he will randomly pick ds up from school. Ihave been trying for years to get ex to agree to some basic ground rules for ds but he refuses to discipline. he wouldnt want to be the bad guy.
We have an ongoing problem with DS forgetting to brush his teeth. However, our rule is that forgetting is revolting but okay so long as he admits straight away and goes up and brushes his teeth when reminded.
Same with other aspects of cba forgetfulness such as putting clothes in the laundry etc.
Deceit is a different matter. For that he experiences the wrath of the gods.
However we do have the advantage of an older and younger sister to keep DS's revoltingness in check!