Short boys(9 Posts)
DS is 9 and in yr 5. He is 131cm tall. He is noticably smaller than everyone in his year group and even amongst younger children. People frequently think he is alot younger than he is and it is started to affect how his peers relate to him and he is being teased about his height in school.
Has anyone else got a similar scenario and for those whose boys are a couple of years older do they catch up? His dad is 5'11 and I am 5'4 but come from short stock.
I know I cannot change the situation and am guessing there is not a medical problemas he is on the normal range in the red book. My sister is 4'11 with a short husband and her girls who are same age tower over ds. He does grow but very slowly.
I am worried about when he starts senior school he will be so small amongst massive kids it will affect his confidence even more. How does puberty effect boys height? are they short boys who shoot up in their teens? When he was youngwe did that double hisheight at 2.5 thing and I think that made out he would be 5'6 which seems very small for a man.
He is not a sporty kid but when he does play sport he prefers toplay with much younger kids so his height is not an issue.
Any advice greatly received
His growth pattern could be completely unpredictable. I also estimated using that "double at age 2.5yo" formula DS adult height, and he's already 5'2" and not really hit puberty. Anyway:
This is just idle musing..
The smallest boy in DD's y6 class is no taller than that. He is also the most popular lad in the year group.
The class had some anti-bullying workshops & one thing they did was ask the children to say any names they had been called that they didn't like. It was very healthy, DD reckons it cut down on name calling a huge amount.
The short but popular boy was often called "midget", which he took with good humour, but actually he hated it. And needed a chance to say so.
So on back of that, I wonder if you could ask the school about doing something similar. To flush out if your son is (& other children are) having any problems and given him chance to develop skills to deal with it.
I have a son (who is now a man) who was shorter than all his classmates and it was worse when they got to 16/17 and started going in pubs becuase he would often not get served when his mates could and I think this affected him a lot. I am 5'1" and his father 5'6" so I realised why he was small but he did finally have a growth spurt and by 18 was a reasonable height 5'8" and so this could be the case for your son.
Don't forget though that girls get their growth spurt long before boys, and at secondary school a lot of the boys look small compared to the long-legged girls. Sadly kids will always tease others about their height, weight, whatever it is. My nephew has a close friend (they met in playgroup and have been best friends ever since) and he is small, and known as "mini Matt" as there was a tall Matt as well. He seems fine and is 25 now so won't be growing any more - guess he is about 5'4" - though looking at the post above I wonder if he is not so fine on the inside. Anyway he has a lovely girlfriend and has a degree and a good job.
It's hard being a mom isn't it, cus we want everything to be ok for our kids and it's especially worrying when it's something we can't put right. Be thankful that he is healthy and there is plenty of time for him to grow - he's only 9.....
He doesn't sound really small - my DS is just 9 and is 136cm and one of the taller boys amongst his peers.
My DS has always been short, he is 139 cm and will be 11 in January. He isn't the shortest boy in his Yr 6 class though, there are a couple shorter than him. DH was short until he was about 13 I think, then he started growing and is 6 ft now. I'm 5 ft 2 so am very much hoping DS takes after DH rather than me, but in every other aspect he is like a mini DH so I'm hopeful. I'd say your DS wasn't too short and he isn't going to go through puberty for a few years anyway, it's likely he'll shoot up then.
Thank you for your responses. I know we will have to work on coping tecniquesfor him. We have told his teacher about the comments and she is keeping an eye. I think the combination of not being good at sport,wearing glasses and being small makes him a target but he has alot going for him so hopefully others will be able to see past this.
Ah yes - not being into sport (as the vast majority of boys at this age just want to kick a football around) I have a grandson aged 7 who hates football and that's all the other lads want to do at breaktime. His mom even sent him to football on Saturday in the hope he would grow to like it (I thought that was a daft idea but you never interfere with a DIL!) anyway he still hated it, so now he goes to karate which he loves. He spends too much time on the WII and the ipad!!
My DP was small, hated sport, wore specs and had goofy teeth and was very clever and passed the 11+ and went to grammar. He came from a wc background, lived on a council estate, so got called swothead as well!! It hasn't done any lasting harm - he grew to almost 6' (mother 4'11") and father normal height (about 5'9") had his teeth sorted and still wears the specs! Oh and he's nearly bald but he is 70!
I think being a mom is so so hard because we want to make everything right for our kids and when it's something over which we have no control it's harder still. There are lots of MNs on here worrying about the friendship groups with the girls i.e. "bf has fallen out with DD and is getting all thr other girls against her and DD in tears tonight" etc etc. My beautiful grd-dghtr is 12 and is having a hormone surge and has acne - spots all across her brow, by her nose and on her chin and I could cry because she had such beautiful skin. She doesn't seem too bothered but said to her mom recently "I can't wait for my friends to get spots so they know how it feels..." I have bought expensive products but they are doing much good.
Sorry OP I'm going off the track - I just wanted to stress how all mums (well the vast majority) want everything to be right for their kids (oh and this applies to g/prts too!)
I'm sure your son will be able to meet other boys who aren't sports mad and maybe share more of his interests. In the meantime you must do what my wise DIL (No 2!) who is a primary school teacher says that parents need to teach children the skills to cope with what life throws at them, and the main thing is not to show your anxiety to your child. Listen if your child wants to talk about anything worrying him but don't bombard him with questions about friends etc. Maybe find some outside interest that he likes that is not sport related.
Being a parent is a life sentence - we worry about them from day 1 and this doesn't stop when they reach their 40s (I know from experience!) What you worry about may change but the intensity of your feelings to protect them doesn't and then you have to stand back........................and that can be hard, but that's the reality, but along with the worry you get so joy. Seeing my sons being brilliant fathers to their children makes us realise we must have got something right...............
My son is short (to his relief not the shortest) and I have reassured him that he will probablybe tall (I am 5foot8 and dh is 6 foot). I was always one of the tallest in primary but stopped growing at 14 where as my brothers were short until 14 ish then shot up to more than 6 foot. Dh agrees that boys do lots of growing later than girls and in my experience girls are often taller than boys in primary where as things change in secondary.
I have also not lied to him and have said "You're short but great at XYZ" or " X is very tall but not as good at you at Yyy" When he is teased he uses his strengths as a retort. This often results in the tall person not taking the mick.
Is it worth investigating just to rule out medical issues?
My SIL felt that her daughter wasn't growing enough (my brother is tall, she is average), sil took niece to the doctor who has some blood tests done. They found my niece has something called hashimoto thyroiditis, which was affecting her growth. There is treatment and she is fine now.
Worth checking I think.
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