DD plays in the squad for the local team, She's not the best player but she's ok. She plays in competitive matches, they all get in, it's not based on ability. She just started at a new school and joined the school football club. They just announced the sqaud for a new tournament. There are 3 teams in the squad that were picked from the approx 40 members of the club. She didnt get in, and she's really upset. I am upset for her, and amazed that she's not been picked. What can I do? I don't know her teacher and she's too shy to challenge or query her decision. Should I go see her teacher and get to the bottom of it? Or just accept that she's not as good as we thought she was? It's humiliating for her, as most of the other girls don't play competitively away from school.
Hmm, thanks for the comment, Melliebobs, but I think I do need to speak to her teacher. Since the decison was made, some of the other girls have used it as an excuse to make fun of her (e.g. saying she must be really rubbish if she trains twice a week but still can't get in the school team). And it turns out that some of the other members of her local team were picked for school team (and I know they arent of her standard out of school, as I've seen them play). She's struggled to fit into school life as a whole, so this really doesn't help as it's knocked her confidence in an area where she was previously more sure of herself.
I dont think its a good idea. you said that the club she plays for is not chosen on ability so this is the first time she has been judged on her ability. I dont think questioning the decision will help your dd
I queried this with the teacher and she was really helpful. She explained that (first team apart) the teams are not chosen on ability, but they are all given a chance to play on a rotation basis. My daughter has been 'picked' for the second team this week (and awarded 'man of the match' in her group practice - I suspect a bit of a sympathy vote was involved!!). Luckily, the teacher seems to understand the self-esteem issues and the girl-politics of the age group and had thought through how to deal with this. I feel so much better for querying this with her, and my daughter is happier, too -she still has some problems with fitting in generally, but at least she feels welcome at her football club