pre-teen who wants to give up everything...

(10 Posts)
Carolinco1 Wed 24-Oct-12 09:00:03

my son loved playing rugby and went to scouts, now he wants to give up the lot and is increasingly hard to live with. hubby and i are constantly bickering over sons decisions - not sure what to do..

Katisha Wed 24-Oct-12 09:00:48

What's his preferred activity - is it sitting on the computer?

Carolinco1 Wed 24-Oct-12 09:02:11

yes he likes to meet up with friends on facebook, that is another thing altogether... but when the novelty wears off he'll be doing nothing, he can't see that.

Katisha Wed 24-Oct-12 09:07:59

Can't see why being on FB means you havent got time for a game of rugby abd a scout meeting. Is he on FB every hour god sends?
I can see he might go off scouts and my 13 yr old now has to be hauled out of bed to do his football match on a sat morning, but when he gets there he is glad he did it.
Maybe you need to being thinking about allowed to be on the computer because so many boys just end up on it the entire time. (Says she on MN when she should be getting out of the door!) WHat does your DH think?

Katisha Wed 24-Oct-12 09:08:50

Sorry last sentence failed to make any sense. Maybe you need to think about how long he is allowed to be on the computer...

Carolinco1 Wed 24-Oct-12 09:19:44

he is not on FB all evening as we have it timed, but it he'd rather do it than socialise with the family. he doesn't play any computer games or anything.

he does play for the school but wants to give the club up.

his two brothers play for the same club, so we have made it clear he will still be coming with us on a sunday morning so hopefully he'll think twice when he still has to get up.

misstrunchball Thu 25-Oct-12 21:48:59

My DD2 dances, plays hockey and goes to guides. Well she did - hockey went by the by a couple of weeks ago as it was on the same night as guides. We would leave the house at 5.10 and she wouldn't come home until 9pm. She has asked to give up dancing after Christmas and now is not sure she wants to go to guides any more. She will keep up with her tap/ballet class and wants to go back to football after Christmas.

I have let her do it as she started Y7 in September and is soooooo tired/emotional/hormonal (delete as appropriate). She recently got a new phone and a second hand laptop so spends most of her time in her bedroom on skype or facebook. This is know will wear off as it is a novelty at the moment and I think she is dealing with so much going to a new school. What I'm trying to say is has he just started Y7 or has the workload increased in Y6. This term has also been very long and from talking to other people they are saying the same thing.

Maybe he has grown out of Scouts or just needs a rest. Let him have till Christmas then start talking to him about rejoining in the New Year. Things will probably get better if you respect his decision, stop bickering with DH (your DS could be thinking he has let you down) and hopefully things will get better.

I hope this makes sense - it did in my headsmile

FranSanDisco Sat 27-Oct-12 10:55:03

Ds is 10 yo and used to do swimming, karate and scouts. Well, scouts was boring and swimming was boring and, you guessed it, karate was boring. He gave up scouts but kept the other two.

He would sit on the computer night and day without food or personal hygiene if allowed. However, he has suddenly got a renewed interest in karate and goes 3 times a week now!! I have now allowed swimming to go as of last week as it was like watching a drowning cat (and on the car journey he would get very tired hmm and be 'too exhausted' to swim).

I wouldn't allow your ds to give it all up tbh Could it pick the one he dislikes the most and drop it perhaps.

DeadTall Sat 27-Oct-12 23:10:06

My DD (yr6) has stopped all but music lessons, she used to do Brownies, singing, swimming, dancing, cheerleading, all sorts of clubs. But she was so tired from school that I think she needed to slow down. She only has one after school activity now and she's more relaxed at home. Sometimes I think kids just need to take a break from things

Startailoforangeandgold Sat 27-Oct-12 23:33:11

Scouts/Guides at 13 needs very good leaders that give the DCs just the right balance of freedom and guidance and it needs there to be a group that age who gel.
For many DCs it's time to stop.
DD1 stayed because her Baden Powell group are her best friends. They can work together even when the Guider is a bit wet.

DD2 is a scout and I don't think she will carry on after this year she'll be(12).

DD2 still dances and does lots of sport in school. She'll do her next exam and the summer show, then we will see.

If she gets good at senior school sport that may win.

DD1 will always sing, I can't see her ever not being in a choir of some kind.

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