I'm sitting here in tears with worry about my DD age 10. I've just had the mother of one DD's best friends on my doorstep saying that my daughter said 'something' to another girl (A) on the walk to school, which upset A so much that she didn't want to talk to DD or walk with her. A walked off in tears with her elder sister. DD & A haven't really got on very well in the past, they are quite different personalities.
The message that came through from the mother who came to see me is that she doesn't want my daughter walking to school with her daughter & A any more. She said this is because there have been 'niggles' in the car, so I think she's had enough of the disagreements they have (she gives DD a lift part of the way home a few times a week, which is entirely up to her, I had nothing to do with the arrangement & DD & I were quite happy for DD to walk the last part on her own). She asked me whether I was happy with DD walking to school on her ow... which she could do, but I think she would be very upset & I don't like to think of her walking by herself at only 10 years old (we have a 3-tier school system so they walk from 9 years).
DD has had various different arrangements over the last year & a half, which seem to break down due to various disagreements. The first arrangement was OK until she & the one other girl fell out, then they both decided to walk in a big group with 4 others, but then one of the other girls (B) told DD that she hadn't 'asked permission' from B's mother to walk with them! That, & problems with 'so & so walking off' or 'they talk about things I'm not interested in all the way home', led to her changing arrangements again to the current one.
I really don't want to get involved with the mothers, as I would much prefer DD to sort this out herself with her friends, but I feel pressurised to speak to A's mum. The mother who turned up this morning said that A's mum will be worried "all day" about whether her daughter will be "scared" that DD is going to be waiting at the school gates to walk home with her .
DH is quite hard on DD & thinks she is rubbish at relationships with other girls, I'm softer on her & think it's all part of growing up, but this sort of thing makes me worry that she's the problem here, & that other parents think that too, which really upsets me. DD's fine at home - generally kind, helpful, occasionally tearful & stroppy like most pre-teens, whenever she has friends over they seem fine together and giggle a lot etc. What do I do?
I feel like I'm being told to resolve this before tomorrow morning as the mother who came to see me wants this sorted out before the school run. Do I speak to A's mother? How can I tell DD that she's no longer wanted?
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problems on the school run - girls falling out - what to do? (sorry - long)
35 replies
DeadTall · 18/10/2012 09:55
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