Just what the title says really. My 11 year old ds is in his first year at secondary school. He seems quite happy at school and has some good friends, but he is so incredibly careless. In the last week he has lost his uniform hoody, his watch, sports bottle, and the last straw today - his entire p.e. kit, including his trainers (which were reasonably expensive ones because he uses them for his squash too, and he has size 9 feet!) He wandered out to meet me at car looking sheepish, and said he'd "just lost it". I am at my wits end now, I drove home because ds1 has school transport and I needed to be in for him, then once he'd arrived home I went back to ds2s school and we went to reception and asked, and then to p.e. block...of course, there's nothing to be seen. I thought that after I'd had a discussion with him about losing his watch (which I'd got him as a present for starting secondary) he'd have been a bit more careful, but no. His kit wasn't even in his locker because he'd forgotten to take his locker key with him this morning...and I had forgotten to specifically remind him. How do I get through to him that he needs to look after his possessions? I feel so annoyed with him right now, the kit will have to be replaced, but I won't be getting him another watch, and I just feel that he doesn't care about the "nice thing" that I had tried to do for him - he didn't care enough about my present to look after it
Ah yes, he always knows exactly where his mobile is. Is it normal then? Ds1 is asd with associated learning difficulties, so he is kind of cosseted at school, and his 1-1 makes sure he has all his stuff - although he's actually very particular about everything being just so, so probably keeps track of it himself....anyway, my point is that, this is my first experience of all this really, so I don't know if I'm over reacting by being so annoyed about it.
When ds1 was at this stage I told him the first item that he lost I would pay for the replacement; the second I would pay 50%; any subsequent items were up to him...
He very swiftly became motivated to spend his breaks/lunches searching, finding and retrieving almost all of the stuff he'd misplaced. Since then (4 yrs) he has hardly ever lost anything at all, and he is very scatty and absent-minded.
Ds2 has no savings! I give them both £25 each month pocket money, with the option to earn more by helping out with chores, he spends most of it on Xbox games, and booking squash courts, but he'll be saving there now, since he has no shoes to wear for squash! We are in Scotland, so school breaks up for a fortnight tomorrow, and he won't have p.e. again til the Thursday when they go back, so I've got time to replace his kit...but that's not really the point. He will certainly be contributing to the new stuff, and if granny or grandad try to give him any money while we visit them in the holidays, then he will be putting that towards it too. Grrrr
Well we live in Scotland, so the dcs are on holiday now, and therefore haven't had the same opportunities to lose things! I did sit him down and told him that I was going to do what you'd suggested with regard to paying this time, then 50% if there was a next time etc. He said "well mum, that seems fair"! so I'm hoping he's taken it on board...although once they go back to school a week on Wednesday will be when I find out for sure. I haven't bought any new P.E. kit yet, just in case the old one is discovered by the janitors and handed in during the holidays (ridiculously hopeful, I know). He is being v helpful round the house at the moment - cleaning up after our puppy without a word of complaint, so I think that maybe me going completely off on one has made him think a bit. Time will tell, and I'll keep you posted roisin