Is a 'boyfriend' at eleven normal?

(17 Posts)
Jazzybreen Thu 27-Sep-12 22:33:53

Lovely, sweet natured daughter returned from first high school residential last week. My youngest over heard her friends saying that she is now going out with another of the S1's.luckily I know the boy and parents well otherwise I'd be really worried. Having never had a boyfriend in high school (polishes halo!) I wonder if S1 is the norm nowadays? Partner is hurt that she didn't tell us. As far as I'm aware :/ they occasionally walk round the school yard at break time and say 'hello' in the corridor. Am I being pathetic? Help!

quoteunquote Thu 27-Sep-12 23:01:56

scary, I'm sure it will be very innocent,

so have you planned all the special talks?

randomfennel Fri 28-Sep-12 21:23:19

It is normal in our school. my yr 7 last year had a "boyfriend". They didn't even hold hands or kiss, or swap phone numbers. It was more like a status update than anything else. I think they had lunch together, as part of a bigger group.

It seems quite sweet to me.

bigTillyMint Fri 28-Sep-12 21:28:24

It was normal in our house. None of them lasted very long, and I think it just consisted of the boys asking DD if she would go out with them.

Now in Y9, current bf has lasted a few months and he talks to her at school and rings her at home, (and is now friends with DS too!), but she dies of embarrassment if we bump into him when she is there too confused

I had my first boyfriend at 10. We "went out" for a year! we never even kissed - we went to the park sometimes and sat next to each other in school. It will likely be very innocent.

bigTillyMint Fri 28-Sep-12 21:31:05

Actually, I had a "boyfriend" when I was 11 too (though I was in top juniors at the time) and we used to go on "double dates" to the Lido!

Nagoo Fri 28-Sep-12 21:37:12

DH teaches this age and says yes, the inverted commas are necessary in the description though smile

Roseformeplease Fri 28-Sep-12 21:40:16

They seem to play at it but it is a meaningless label and they do nothing. They even ask each other "out" but my daughter was a bit stumped when I asked her where they went "out" and agreed that they didn't go anywhere or do anything just "went out" by agreeing they were going out.

bigTillyMint Fri 28-Sep-12 21:42:26

Exactly, Rose grin

basildonbond Mon 01-Oct-12 22:40:19

a little bit older than 11 but when ds was 13 he left his facebook page open on my ipad when he was in the middle of an argument with one of his friends about who knew more about 'women' ... ds obviously thought he'd played the trump card with "I've had 4 gf and you've only had 1" ... I very much doubt any of the '4 gf' had a clue that they'd been in a relationship with ds .. to my knowledge he'd certainly never been on a date with any of them or even been alone with a girl at that point (goes to a boys school so easier to police!)

A lot of 'relationships' in the young teen age range are conducted almost entirely over text, BBM or facebook as far as I can see

ripsishere Tue 02-Oct-12 03:30:53

My DD had one last year. They never went out out but smiled at each other at school.
She is completely disinterested in the boys at her current school Especaillay the one who claims to be her 'special friend'.

My almost ten year old has a 'boyfriend' for the last year, basically they go to the cinema and Frankie and bennys (with adults) and play at each others houses and buy valentines gifts.

They've planned marriages and how many children and he's going to be a pilot to support her if she has more than one baby shock

Its all very innocent though just a shock as I didn't have a boy friend till secondary ended .

member Wed 17-Oct-12 09:33:12

My dd is has just started Yr 7 & doesn't have a bf & doesn't want one. Having said that, plenty of her friends from primary started the bf thing in Yr 6 as in saying they are "going out" with so & so. Except they never go out anywhere & maybe just hang around in the same area of playground hmm

member Wed 17-Oct-12 09:36:10

Oh, & I def think there is peer pressure involved to look cool as dd has had some comments about how she should get a bf. She doesn't want one atm but I can see her struggling a bit with being different/uncool.

WitchesTit Wed 17-Oct-12 09:43:00

My ds is 11 and has recently admitted he has a girlfriend.
They don't meet up outside of school, their relationship consists of choosing to sit together in class and she sometimes watches with a gaggle of girls when he plays footy at break.
It's all very innocent and as a 'first step' I think it shows he's becoming a little more mature and less childlike, ie considering other people's feelings and being protective. It's nice.

madbengal Wed 14-Nov-12 05:30:48

My DD had a boyfriend for about 2 days til "he wanted to hold my hand mum yuck" LOL I pray she keeps that point of view a lot longer but she is writing little notes about some other boy now lol

cory Wed 14-Nov-12 09:11:23

Normal around here. I see it as a preparation game, like kittens playing at being hunters. As long as parents and other people around them don't take it seriously (no self-fulfilling prophecies!) I think it's a good thing; it teaches them about people.

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