ds12 is upsetting whole household

[rabbit68]

I am at the end of my tether with ds12.
His rudeness and constant arguing with me and dh has got us all at each tohers throats. DS6 is joiing in for good measure to get his fair share of attention; they are both driving me mad; today I could have cheerfully left the house and not come back. Have crawled upstairs and left dh to it now as I am so angry it is making matters worse.
Why can't an otherwise normal intelligent child understand how his behaviour is affecting the family? NOw when he is challenged about anything he says that he will kill himself. I think he is saying this for effect but I can't be sure. Not sure where to turn next. He's like Jekyll and Hyde.

[Bossybritches22]

Hormones, its a bugger. You & DH need to present a united front & don't let him argue, just say "Enough" & walk away when he answers back. Ignore the bad behaviour as much as you can.

That said he also needs lots of cuddles and attention when he is NOT being angry or nasty, he is still a little boy & feeling very confused.

[rabbit68]

thanks bossybritches.. has calmed now now and went off to bed with a cuddle, but as you know very wearing and upsetting when it kicks off. Thankfully all happy at school and there are no REAL worries; he's obviously just finding growing up hard to handle. Him and me both. DH did a good job tonight.

[Bossybritches22]

Hows he been today? Sweetness & light I bet?

You did just the right thing by distancing yourself before you lamped him one (soooo tempting, not saying you would of course!)

They would try the patience of a saint. Don't worry he will shortly become monosyllabic and smelly and live in squallor in his bedroom, it is a peace of sorts!