DD is 3,4, was happy at pre-school before Christmas and now isn't

[IdrisTheDragon]

DD has been going to pre-school since she was 2.5, doing two afternoon sessions a week and enjoyed it.

Since Christmas, she has started doing morning sessions as there aren't any afternoon sessions there anymore (afternoon sessions were for the younger children but there are fewer children at the moment and so there are only morning sessions). She was fine the first couple of sessions but now isn't .

She has been fine when I've left, but I've been called for early as she has been sobbing uncontrollably . Last week I left her a little sad but generally fine and was called for to find a very sad DD. The staff there are great and really want her to enjoy herself again.

I went with her and stayed during the session today to try and (a) encourage her that pre-school is nice really and to (b) try and find out what is bothering her.

It wasn't much louder than the afternoons were (although busier) and I couldn't see anything immediately that was troubling her. I am sure changing to mornings makes a difference, but I'm not sure how best to help her.

Selfishly, I would also like to have a bit of time on my own to mumsnet tidy, but DD being happy is more important.

[IdrisTheDragon]

Hopeful bump

[IdrisTheDragon]

After school bump

[IdrisTheDragon]

Evening bump - any suggestions/commiserations/experiences?

[IdrisTheDragon]

One more try

[AccidentalMum]

Don't know what to say really. I am a wimp and just take DD1 (3.4) home if she cries. One thing that helped her is being allowed to stay in her buggy and join in when she's ready. Taking a cuddly toy in perhaps? Also, one of the playworkers has a special job for DD1 to do as soon as she gets there which helps a lot. Sorry your LO is unhappy at the moment.

[harpsichordcarrier]

oh dear.
well you probably won't want to hear this but in your shoes, if she doesn't need to go, I would keep her home for a while and see how she is in a couple of months. it seems to me thatshe isn't quite ready. some children aren't and all that.
what about cutting down to one morning a week?
tbh I don;t think the benefits are outweighing the downsides for both of you.
wait a month or so and she might be ready for more independence and start enjoying the experience.

[GreenPeas]

I've had something similar with DD (3.2) - she's been going to nursery two days a week for a year but since the Christmas break is really struggling to get back into it. The difficulty with her is getting her across the threshold and settled. Thankfully she's a bit happier once the activities have started and there's something to distract her.

I've had a couple of good conversations with the staff about strategies to help her settle - tea parties with favourite characters, special games etc and I'm hoping she might be a bit happier this week.

FWIW I think Christmas is enormously unsettling to 3 year olds in particular - the first time they 'understand' it, having family around, the relaxation (abandonment?) of routines etc.

Really hope you get your happy girl back soon. I sympathise with wanting some time to yourself to get things done!

[IdrisTheDragon]

Thank you for the replies

HCC - there is part of me wondering about your suggestion and it is something I am thinking about. DD does talk happily about pre-school and things she does though and was happy there before. If this had happened at the beginning I would definitely have taken her out for a few months, but knowing she has enjoyed it clouds my judgement a bit.

AccidentalMum - DD does always like taking soft toy(s) with her

GreenPeas - although not happy that someone else is having something similar, at least it's not just me. Hope you get a happy DD soon as well.

[CompareTheMeerkat]

Decided to update this (have name changed since original posting).

DD is now much happier at pre-school . Left her today playing very happily with a little boy there (they were going on a Bear Hunt).

I stayed with her all the time for a couple of weeks, then started leaving part way through. We also got there deliberately late for a few sessions, which avoided the scrum at the beginning. Having time off when it snowed and then for half term seemed to help. She has also had a friend to play here which has also been good.

So, hopefully it will carry on like this