Feel I am being bullied into being chair of our Pre-school committee....Help.

[VanillaPumpkin]

Our chair helped set up the pre-school and has done her time. She wants to resign but no-one has agreed to step in. I am quite pro-active helping as much as I can and doing recruitment etc on the committee and she approached me and asked me to do it. I said I had thought about it and decided I couldn't give it enough committment for various reasons. A week went by and I was collared again at church and asked if I would think about it as there was no-one else coming forward. I said I would consider it. I gave it a great deal of thought but still felt it was not for me. I cannot give it enough committment and importantly I am not at all happy about the Pre-school manager (older than me and much more experienced) 'reporting' to me. I explained this again and said no and felt relieved I had made the right decision.
We have a meeting tonight that has to happen as we have to decide on pay rises. I had called the chair earlier in the week to add something on to the agenda. I had to leave a message. The current chair just called me and said thanks for my call this week about the agenda, but she will not be able to make it tonight and so I can do what I want really !
Help.
The thing is we will all get there and I will end up running the meeting as no-one else will and actually I probably know what should be on the agenda.
I am really fed up though and feel I am having a position 'forced' upon me.
What can I do. I love this pre-school and how it is run and my dd has thrived there, but at the risk of sounding like my four year old this isn't fair!!!!

[cluelessnchaos]

I would ring the chair back and say " would you like me to chair the meeting this eve" when you get there make it clear you are chairing only this evening and if no other chair is elected in the meantime someone else will have to take a turn next meeting.

[McDreamy]

HI Vanilla sorry to ehar about you're predicament....I really hate it when this kind of thing happens. I have just resigned froma committee becuase I feel too pressured into doing things. We had a divide those that work and those that don't - more was expected from those that don't regardless of the fact that don't work because I have small children! Anyway whether I work or not has no bearing on the amount of time I can offer a committee - I want to offer what I want to offer (ISWIM). Sorry rambling a bit but just wanted you to know that I empathize!

Agree with Clueless approach make it very clear that you will chair for one night and maybe while you are chairing it bring up the subject of the vacant chair committee and get it minuted that you will not be taking on the role and could any volunteers come forwards asap? Good luck

[SoupDragon]

They can't force you to do it.

[VanillaPumpkin]

Yes, you are right I need to be forthright and say I will chair this evening, but not next time. Thank you.
McDreamy - I know. I don't work and so I do quite a bit for the toddler group and the nursery but I do NOT want this responsibility....but I also can't leave things knowing no-one is doing them IYSWIM. The staff deserve our support too.
I feel very uncomfortable about it.

[Ripeberry]

I've had the same kind of thing happen to me as well.
We only have 5 on our committee and we were hoping for some new parents to join us as our Chair wanted to leave and our Treasurer/Grant co-ordinator was leaving as well.
Well of course NOT ONE new parent turned up and our Chair has to stay, our Treasuer is still going and i had the job of Grant co-ordinator thrust upon me as otherwise the pre-school would have to close and of course if would be my fault wouldn't it .
Just feel like i was bullied into it, so basically the original 5 committee members have taken on xtra jobs.
To top it all, the next grant request forms need to be in by 24 jan 08 and the prev co-ordinator has not got ANY forms filled out or copies of birth certs, and now i'm going to have to be an ogre and chase everyone to fill in new forms and copies of certs, and these people did not want to help out the pre-school at all.
Fed up of being made to feel guilty.
AB

[handlemecarefully]

Don't be the Chair if you don't want to be...

When the time comes for me to stand down (will do so in July when my youngest leaves Pre-School) I will do so with a free conscience irrespective of whether or not anyone has been lined up to replace me.

Mind you if someone doesn't step forward I believe that a Pre-School without a Chair will be in breach of registration and not viable? (since the Committee and it's officers are Ofsted's 'Responsible Person').

That would probably apply to your Pre-School too. Still not your problem - more a case of everyones problem!

[handlemecarefully]

"Chair has to stay"

Ripeberry - that's a mugs game. She should leave and let someone else do the drudge work for a while

[TheDuchessOfNorksBride]

Agree HMC (I stand down as Chair in Sept) - I was still short of a Treasurer & Secretary at the time of the last AGM although I had 10 staying/joining the committee. So I gave a speech that basically said "if we do not fill these roles this evening, we will not have an executive committee and therefore will not have a pre-school". I immediately had 2 volunteers.

I also created more roles to spread the workload.

Chairing a pre-school IS a lot of work as I'm sure you realise and has probably contributed to your reluctance to do it. You could consider Joint-Chairing with someone as a compromise but don't be forced into it. You are not the only parent at pre-school. The current Chair needs to be more pro-active in finding her replacement, has a letter been sent to all the parents stating how important this is?

Best wishes.

[cazboldy]

trouble is, if you can't find anyone to stand as chair, you can't stop. well not legally anyway. especially if your pre-school is a charity.

[handlemecarefully]

I'm sorry but I simply do not believe that. Where does it say that? in writing?

[TheDuchessOfNorksBride]

I've not heard that either. So what happens if the Chair drops dead and nobody else wants to do it? It would be a bit Kim il-Sung and thus rather eerie for the children!

(Sorry, getting carried away with the idea).

[handlemecarefully]

There is no salaried job that I can think of where you are not allowed to resign unless you find your own replacement - never mind a voluntary unpaid one!

I'm sure this doesn't hold any water - nevertheless I am genuinely interested in why you think this is the case Cazboldy? What has made you come to this conclusion? Is it something you have just heard from someone else, or something you have read?

[handlemecarefully]

(and very amusing Norky btw!)

[cazboldy]

hi. maybe its to do with it being a charity..... a lady at the charity commission told me!

[handlemecarefully]

I'm sure she is quite wrong and I will make it my mission to prove it now

[cazboldy]

ok, i hope you do!
what she actually said that unless you find somebody else to take on the role and they receive a letter from you stating who that person is and that you are passing the postition of chair on to them, then you will still be responsible for all duties pertaining to being a chairperson, i.e end of year return forms, ofsted etc

[chopchopbusybusy]

Pre schools need a minimum number of members of the committee and also a minimum number of parents to attend certain key meetings. If this can't be done then the pre school has to close. I was forced into a situation of being the treasurer at DDs preschool group. It was a very small preschool and so had a small number of parents and most of them as it turned out were unwilling to help. It was bloody hard work, but if I hadn't done it it would have closed meaning no pre school places for the children and the loss of jobs for the staff. When DD left to go to school I resigned with a clear conscience and sadly the group closed not long afterwards.

[geogteach]

I am slightly warey of the charity commission having had to deal with them over problems with our lease, I have definately spoken to different people and got different answers. As far as I can see if the chair resigns and nobody comes forward the pre school has to close but that is the responsibility of the parent body not the person resigning. I certainly have no intention of staying in post once my son leaves.
The more I do the job the more it pisses me off that the buck stops with me for absolutley everything (top of my current to do list: recruit staff, deal with mice and ensure that the trees that overhang the play area have been inspected). If we were a school there would be a board of governors with advice on tap from the local authority, not to mention a headteacher, caretaker ect ect

[brimfull]

vanilla-I feel for you.
I resigned from my post at our agm last month.

I had to send letters out saying the school would be closed if no one came forward.

Eventually i went up and asked every parent ,especially the ones with kids coming up to nursery age,and told them that someone had to do it.

I may have been accused of being bullying but was only telling them like it is.
Tbh I was quite fed up with the whole set up and really couldn't give a stuff if it closed.
It would have been easier if the nursery staff helped in recruiting,it is their jobs at stake after all.

It is a ludicrous way of running things imo.

TRy contacting the PLA for advice.

Don't give in if you don't want to.

I wouldn't trust myself not to give in tbh.Maybe do'nt attend the meeting.

[handlemecarefully]

Waves at ggirl......

"As far as I can see if the chair resigns and nobody comes forward the pre school has to close but that is the responsibility of the parent body not the person resigning" - Precisely geogteacher. My take on it exactly.

Permit me a rant - I hope it almost comes to that in my case to give the mass of apathetic parents a bit of a poke with a sharp stick. I am tired of the free loaders who do sweet fanny adams to support Pre-School....

[Ripeberry]

Hear! hear! Handlemecarefully. The Chair on our pre-school is staying mainly because his wife is the Playleader of our pre-school.
So he has no choice has he?
AB

[handlemecarefully]

No sounds like his hands are a bit tied!

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[undergroundernie]

I completely agree that committee run pre schools are a complete pain. I am Treasurer for ours and the job is enormous, it takes huge amounts of time every week and I find it really quite stressful. I think it's ridiculous that a bunch of unpaid, untrained parents are expected to run the pre school and make so many complicated decisions. IMO its a way of getting nursery education on the cheap for the government, I don't blame other parents for not getting involved. I just wish I never had. I shall resign when my daughter leaves in July with a clear conscience, as I understand it I have to hand the books back to the charity commission if no-one comes forward.
I think it's great for parents to be involved with extra fundraising etc but it seems ridiculous we have to run the place too.

Is there any way of selling a committee run pre school to a private nursery set up?

[brimfull]

cod-nothing dramatic I and the entire committee had agreed to resign and elect new committee at the agm.

would have loved to have flounced and resigned in dramatic way though