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Preschool education

I am person who can't say 'no' (got me into a few scrapes in my youth I can tell you) so consquently wound up with the Chair of Pre-School role. I am so not signed up to it and am doing them a disservice I think. What now?

48 replies

handlemecarefully · 21/02/2007 21:19

I resent every single second I spend on Pre-school stuff. Perhaps I am fundamentally selfish but I would rather be doing something nice for me during what little snatches of 'spare time' I can find. I don't want to do the role, and accordingly quite honestly I am putting in a poor effort re leadership, direction, motivation etc. It's a bit of a rudderless ship currently.

Thing is nobody else wants to be the Chair.

Yet I am patently useless. I could be really good - (i.e have the abilities) but I don't have the ownership / inclination. Call it what you will.

I sort of feel that I should resign - but then....what would I give as my reason? If I was honest (i.e. listen guys - I don't give a monkey's about all this stuff) I could alienate a few people (and these are local mums, potential friends and at the very least mothers of my children's pre-school and school friends)

Moreover presumably the Pre-school would be in trouble with no Chair at all. I imagine it is a fundamental requirement of continuing registration.

Oh bugger. Can't think my way out of a paper bag atm.

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ghostyDave · 21/02/2007 21:24


STAND AWAY FROM THE COMMITTEE .... STAND AWAY FROM THE COMMITTEE !!!!



Honestly HMC ... I was in a similar position to you last year (though not Chair) and I ended up having to go to the Pre School Head with my tail between my legs and tell her that it wasn't going to work out and that I just couldn't commit (Nothing personal, me, not them etc etc )
I offered to do little crappy jobs (like organise flowers for leaving staff at the end of term etc) but had to let go all the committee stuff.
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DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2007 21:26

I joined the committee of my ds3's playgroup last year. We had just moved to a new area and I thought it would help me to meet new friends, plus I had spent three and a half happy years as the treasurer of my other childrens' playgroup in our old home. But this committee was completely different (very serious and lots of work as opposed to a bit of work and lots of fun). I didn't feel I contributed much, I resented what work I did have to do, and I counted the days until the end of the year when I resigned using the excuse that I felt I had done my bit (both at this playgroup and in the past).

Could you not hang on until the July? I know you feel you are useless, but you should not see it that way. You are at least volunteering to do a job that no-one else wants to do. If there was an excellent alternative candidate you could resign saying you found it all a bit too onerous/complicated/too much responsbility/etc, but if there really is no-one else who could do the job better than you, I would simply tell myself that I might not be competent but I am the only volunteer who cared enough when asked to do it. That is worth something at least.

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handlemecarefully · 21/02/2007 21:28

All agog now - and what was the outcome. Were you ostracised?

Or back on speaking terms with everyone now [hopeful grin emoticon ]

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handlemecarefully · 21/02/2007 21:28

Thanks Dumblesdoregirl - you've made me feel marginally better...

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DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2007 21:29

Why would you be ostracised for resigning? As long as you worded your reasons diplomatically, I see no reason for any ostracism to take place. Good grief! You have committed half a year already. That is more than others have done.

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handlemecarefully · 21/02/2007 21:34

Oh I don't know I suppose I feel that it's a bit feeble to openly admit to not wanting to put the effort in (they would interpret that as my real reason however prettily I put it)...thing is, other members of the committee - the admissions coordinator, the treasurer, the secretary etc work very diligently in their areas. They all put a good deal of effort in - (they are a bit Alpha mum in the nicest possible way) so it's sort of counter cultural to be apathetic

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DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2007 21:36

If it helps, when I was roped into the committee last year (as secretary), they also roped in another new woman to be chair and she resigned before the first meeting had taken place!

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handlemecarefully · 21/02/2007 21:38

lol! yes that helps

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DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2007 21:45

I do know a bit of how you feel though. I was "lucky" in that my mother had a major stroke just after I had decided to resign from the committee but before I had told them, so I was able to (shamelessly) use the family crisis as my excuse for wanting to resign. Even so, I feel, like you, that when I was doing the job, the others weren't very impressed with my efforts, and since leaving, I do notice a difference in the way the staff interact with me when I take ds3 to playgroup - not that they are harbouring a grudge towards me, but that I am no longer such an important parent, iyswim.

I make a good effort not to care, despite being very sensitive about this sort of thing. I just think, as I said earlier, that I at least was prepared to give it a go in the first place which is more than many (very alpha mum-like) parents are prepared to do.

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handlemecarefully · 21/02/2007 21:46

Thanks Dumbledoresgirl - you've been very sweet saying all the right things on this thread

(thanks to you to ghosty)

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NorksBride · 21/02/2007 22:00

I thought I'd written this thread title I'm equally unimpressed by my Chairmanship. I'm so snowed under with pre-school work at the moment that the rest of my life is in free fall. So I am resenting it more and more. But there's no way I can resign before September.

Yesterday morning I spent 3 hours phoning/writing and sorting out stuff for the good of our 35 registered pre-school children while my 2yo sat and watched endless CBeebies. It's not on really.

So you have my sympathy HMC, good luck if you do resign. And good luck if you don't!

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handlemecarefully · 21/02/2007 22:06

Ah Norky - my (shinier glossier) soul sister!

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NorksBride · 21/02/2007 22:14

Not all that shiny & glossy at the moment. Need some 'me' time. Can't see any on the horizon though!

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handlemecarefully · 21/02/2007 22:15

Very tiresome isn't it!

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Orinoco · 21/02/2007 22:25

Message withdrawn

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losty · 21/02/2007 23:42

I wish I wasnt so tired, so I could post as coherantly as I would like. I will try tomrorow. BUT.... PLEASE READ THE SMALL PRINT. the chair has a lot of legal responsibilities which may not have been pointed out to you. And, God forbid, should anything 'go wrong' you could be responsible for sorting it out. I am not scare mongering - I have been there, done that, and got the t shirt, and am still waiting recovering from the trauma. My advice would be, unless you check out all the official stuff and are prepared to do everything required of the role, and more, resign now....

Sorru, but I am v v v v tired atm so not posting as well as I want to.

PS DG summed it up well, by saying that her chair person resigned before the first meeting. If I were you I'd do the same...

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brimfull · 22/02/2007 00:11

christ HMC I could have written your opening post.I'm just riding it out and have said No more after July ,although AGM is in october so will probably have to stay until then.

Unlike you though I have no skills that are lurking in me that would be useful as a chairperson.

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ghostyDave · 22/02/2007 00:36

HMC ... I didn't come back after my last post as was dropping off at school.
All still happy and smiley at Pre School. When I told the Headteacher she talked to me very sweetly, like I was 3 (which isn't surpriising as that is what she does all day anyway, talk to 3 year olds), about how much she appreciated my time so far and the input I had made.
I also shamelessly used an excuse (that my DH was working overseas, which he was and is, and that what with being at home alone with the children I really couldn't add this into the picture and do it any justice - I would be letting everyone down.

Luckily she didn't tell me I was only letting myself down

Anyhoo, great sense of relief when I stepped down coupled with huge amount of guilt when they gave me a farewell speech and a lovely bunch of flowers at the last meeting ... but really, it wasn't for me and will never be for me. I admire those who get into it but you will not find me on a committee again anywhere, ever ...

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MrsGoranVisnjic · 22/02/2007 06:16

I'm really sorry but due to other commitments I am unable to devote adequate time to this role so I will have to resign effective immediately / next month

Oh no is there anything we can say to change your mind?

No I am sorry.

Oh what other commitments?

I'm sorry but I do not wish to discuss that. I wish you luck.

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littlerach · 22/02/2007 07:35

Could you get soemone to do the role with you?
I am joint Chair, as I refused to take on the position without someone else. We split the work load well, and have become quite good frends too.
What abou tthe vice cjhair? Can she not take on a lot more of the owrk?
I wish you luck though!

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Celery · 22/02/2007 08:10

I've been on the committee for 3 years, as my children seem to endlessly go to the preschool one after another ( oh when will it ever end?! ) I was aware that the current chairperson is probably going to resign this year, and I knew that a lot of pressure would be put on me to become chair, so I am now Treasurer, purely to avoid being asked to be Chair. Yes, it's a fair bit of work, yes I resent it sometimes, but it's SO much less pressure than being Chair. Plus I feel like I have an excuse to get out of fundraising stuff ( oh, sorry - I'm too busy doing the accounts. )

I think it's ridiculous, quite frankly, that preschools are being run like this, by a bunch of volunteers. The Chair is a position which merits payment and a proper contract.

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LowFatMilkshake · 22/02/2007 08:23

Where's Aloha?? She wrote me a great leter of resignantion when I resigned as the Health & Safety Rep from our pre-school committee last week!

I did my final H&S check yesterday and was asked by the pre-school supervisor if I would still do the check in an advisory capacity because I have the relevant background and qualifications So I am still not free - as like you HMC I can't say no!

Incidentally our chair, treasurer and secretary no longer have DC's in the pre-school, but seem to love the role so much they cary on anyway

I think you definatley need to be prepared to be chair though because there is so much to do vital to the running of the pre-school. The committee actually do run it - at least that's the way it is at ours.

And you used the exact same words as me - doing the pre-school a disservice!

Good Luck
XX

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LizP · 22/02/2007 10:15

I'm another chair who wants to go - in fact I have said I will go in October (next AGM) and no one has stepped up and I'm still going. Really fed up with dealing with everything, not doing it well and I don't have any children there at the moment and haven't for the whole time. Hated doing it with a new baby and really resented the time it took up. We had a few really angry meetings a couple of years ago and I so wish I had just had a major strop and walked out at that point slaming the door in true toddler fashion!

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handlemecarefully · 22/02/2007 17:15

Goodness - it really is a farce that Pre School's are in this position isn't it - with most of us massively resenting it and not able to do it justice!

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redshoes · 22/02/2007 17:33

Me too! I actually enjoy being Chair (hated being treasurer) but can't stand working on a daily basis for nothing.

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