Did your child hate preschool?

(8 Posts)
Sunshinesunshine1978 Mon 09-Dec-13 17:28:08

Has anyone else had this problem with DC not liking preschool? Did you change settings?

I am in two minds about the local preschool and would appreciate your advice.

Been sending DS there since September. This month we have done only 3-4 hours per week, but prior to that he was there 2 mornings a week. He still hates going and is upset when I say goodbye. I ask him if he would like to go there and he says no. I don't know why. Is it because he goes too little? He is a very social chap normally, and he is happy to play with my friends children - even new children at parks etc. and I cannot work out why he has not made any friends and I just find him playing on his own. I know at 3 years old friends are frickle but he does not seem to know the names of the children there.

He only once said he had a nice time at the preschool - but that was the day ofsted was in monitoring them.

Today I looked at a new playgroup 10 minute drive, as his 15 free hours kick in next month. He seemed happy there for the 40 minutes spent looking around, and they said they are happy for me to stay until he is settled. Now I don't know what to do. I asked him if he liked the new school better than his current one and he said he preferred the new one. But I did not leave him there.

Shall I keep him at the preschool for the two sessions, even though he does not seem to like it there, and have two more sessions at new playgroup?

Shall I ditch the preschool and just start him at the playgroup slowly. (think this may be putting all my eggs in one basket)

Shall I stay at the preschool to work out what is happening? Maybe he is being bullied as his behavior has changed lately - quite aggressive.

My gut feeling is to try him at the new playschool alongside the preschool but I am a bit worried this is too confusing going to two places.

Has anyone else had this problem with not liking preschool? If so, what did you do about it? Thanks xxx

dogindisguise Mon 09-Dec-13 20:17:43

Could you ask the staff how he gets on when he's there? Does he seem happy? Does he enjoy playing there? Has he got a profile book you can look at?

Perhaps you could introduce a session at the new place and phase out the old one?

My DS has been going to playgroup since he was 2.3 and always says he doesn't want to go and is never upset when he can't go. But when he gets there he goes in happily and I'm told he's fine when he's there. He doesn't interact much with other children but that's probably common at his age.

He's moving to school nursery in January and seems happy about that, though it's hard to explain to him as I don't think he has much of a concept of a month's time and I can't really rely on him to tell me which one he prefers. It was really hard to know what to do and I'm worried about moving him when he's relatively settled. My main reason for moving him was to get him used to the new place in preparation for going there five days a week in September.

Mariya123 Wed 11-Dec-13 10:33:49

Before moving on to kindergarten Rickey my elder son was taken to daycare. It was not actually a day care.It was like a home child care[WeeWatch at Ontario].Now he is in the Junior KG and he likes his school.I don't know what will happen when it comes to the younger one .I had heard a lot ...kids hate high school..preschool ...like that stuff!Till now I had not encountered with such a problem!Hope for the best!

kimmills222 Fri 03-Jan-14 16:26:13

Its tendency of almost every child that they hated going preschool until and unless they visit them. But once they visit the place and get adapted with the environment around and excited and fun with the friendship they develop out there, they loves to visit the preschool without a single escape.

Firewall Mon 06-Jan-14 21:14:59

Hi, our LO had the same issue at first. Kids are really adaptable so i don't think 2 settings is an issue, we have 2 preschools which are completely different and my LO definitely has a preference.

I think it is important to listen to your child and really find out what is making him unhappy. Find out how staff are treating him from his point of view too.

It may be a good idea to have 2 settings and see how your child does as you will have a good comparison of how he is doing. And if he is still really unhappy in one place then I would stop it as it can do more damage than good.

VikingLady Tue 07-Jan-14 18:57:51

If he is always playing alone, the staff should be trying to integrate him. Is that happening? Have you spoken to his key worker about it?

Does he think if he doesn't go, he'll get to be with you all day, or does he know it would simply mean a change of setting?

I'd be concerned that the day he was happy coincided with the day they were being observed, tbh.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 07-Jan-14 19:04:32

Hello OP.

I tried all my 3dc with preschool but they never seemed to settle.
Some children don't for some reason.
For me personally the fact they didn't settle after numerous attempts meant that when they did settle it would be settling to something they didn't want to do, somewhere they didn't want to be.
They all started school fine and had no problem socially.

mumof4darlings Thu 09-Jan-14 22:23:19

Maybe give him a break for a few months, children can alter so much. My son went through spells of liking then hating. I kept him home if he didn't want to go. He always said he was happy at home.

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