Getting upset about toilet training and nursery

(7 Posts)
havingamadmoment Wed 16-Oct-13 15:03:56

My dd turned 3 in August and started nursery in September. It is a nursery attached to a school so is pretty "schoolish" in its ways and feel.

She is really happy there settled down well apart from using the toilet. She is our 4th child and with the older three when they were between 2 and 2 and a half we started potty training and within a few weeks they were happily using the toilet with very few accident and very very rare at nursery or school. DD4 we started the same just after she turned 2, she has NEVER got it she just looks shocked when she wees half the time, she wees herself probably 4 or 5 times a day at least. We remind her to use the toilet really regularly she will sit there and either yes do a wee or not do one but still 10 minutes later whether she has weed or not she will wet herself. We have tried all the tricks, treats and ways and means we have heard of. She actually weed on the stickers for the sticker chart....

We have had to replace or recover so many things now its getting ridiculous. At the same time she gets upset if we suggest wearing a nappy and obviously school wont accept her wearing a nappy anyway. For one or two morning at school she managed not to wee but probably since september about 75-80% of days she doesnt manage it.

Today she came home saying school had put "plastic knickers on her" which I understand because they cant have her weeing all over the place but I just feel like such a failure that we cant do this I am actually thinking of taking her out of nursery altogether although that would mean quitting my job because its just getting stupidly upsetting now.

I should add she has been using a toilet for poos for a year now she got that straight away when we started at 2. She will get up at night to go to the toilet for that even though she wears a nappy at night.

Does anyone have any suggestions because I am just completely out of ideas.

havingamadmoment Wed 16-Oct-13 15:07:55

sorry im was going to post this is chat as I am going to see the teacher tomorrow morning!

Littlefish Wed 16-Oct-13 20:17:59

If she is wetting herself 4 or 5 times a day, then I would probably go and see the GP to see if they will test her for a UTI just in case. I would also consider putting her back in pull ups for a couple of months and trying again. That way, she can still use the loo for poos as she obviously has the right bowel sensations, but not need a complete change of clothes if she wees.

Pizzahutlover Wed 16-Oct-13 21:44:36

She is still young give her a few months hopefully she will master it sometimes it just clicks

Sparkle9 Thu 17-Oct-13 00:42:46

Pull ups sound like a good idea. Accidents do happen in nursery but it can become quite unhygienic if a child is wetting themselves regularly. Don't feel like a failure. These things happen and your DD will get it. Keep encouraging. Talk to the nursery teacher about their approach to this too.

Galena Thu 17-Oct-13 10:01:58

How would they know she was in a pull up if she's got trousers or tights over the top? Agree with pp though saying a) they cannot discriminate if she's not toilet trained as far as I know, and b) it may well just 'click' overnight with her. DD was nearly 4 and always looked surprised when she wet herself, then one day she said 'I need a wee' and in nearly a year we've had, I think, 3 accidents.

looselegs Sat 19-Oct-13 22:39:18

totally agree with littlefish.Get her checked out by the doctor and think about using pull-ups.Don't look at it as 'going backwards'-see it as 'helping her out'.She's only young-all children are different,and although your other children 'got it' quickly,she needs a bit longer. x

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