Nursery staff unhelpful

(4 Posts)
Schoolcrazy Wed 23-Jan-13 13:35:44

Hi,
I have been with this nursery for some years (previous children) and have always got on quite well with the staff until recently.
My DS has a school assessment (applying for private schools) coming up and I have had brief, regular meetings with the staff regarding this issue. I am very desperate for my DS to go to this school we have applied for and keen on preparing him for it, with the help of the nursery.
The staff, have until recently been extremely helpful, but not sure what happened yesterday for the staff to now appear to have some negativeness towards me.
The last conversation I had was regarding another child at nursery who I am certain is having a bad influence on my DS. My DS is generally well behaved, but this child would make him a totally different person, running around, being loud and generally misbehave.
I asked the staff to seperate My DS from this other child at least until after the assesments were over.
They did not appear to have any problems with this, but now I feel that they just cant be bothered.
What amazes me was how I noticed only recently that my DS does not pay particular attention at story time, and I highlighted this point in my meeting recently.. the reply was "we know and we are dealing with it"
Why was this information never relayed to me in order for me to concentrate on issues DS was lacking, prior!
I am furious and now considering moving away, but I feel its too late.
What should I do?
Should I not be so persistant with the staff anymore?
Should I not seek further assistance from the staff and deal with the issues myself?
Every mum worries about their child! I am now worried they may not even bother with my DS.
Help! what shall I do.

mnistooaddictive Fri 25-Jan-13 11:38:56

My understanding of this is that you want your child to be kept away from his friend as you think he is a bad influence and your son needs to focus on a very important assessment so he can get into private school. The fact your son is misbehaving is not his fault, but 100% down to this other boy who presumably won't be going to private school and is exactly the kind of bad influence you are paying for him to avoid.
You want the staff to spend their time separating the two rather than doing their job.
The problem is with you. Let your son act his age. He will have enough years of being put through an exam factory once he starts school.

Gigondas Fri 25-Jan-13 11:48:32

Fair enough to Ask pre school for help but not to Palm it all off on them. Your issues sound ridiculous - your ds is what 3/4? He likes to run around and play- this is normal for this age . Any decent school will know this and assess on an appropriate set of criteria.

Stop palming off all the parenting on teachers (yes of course you have to prepare with him), stop blaming other kids and stop letting your anxiety spill out all over poor ds and the teachers .

Goldmandra Fri 25-Jan-13 12:04:03

I am shock that there are private schools which put pre-school children through assessments. I can't imagine what on earth the think the results will tell them.

Your DS needs to learn to manage his own behaviour around all sorts of other children. Other children don't have a bad influence on ours. It is far more likely that having a partner in crime is giving your DS the confidence to behave in a way he may not do without them. Your DS may well be leading the behaviour just as much as the other child.

Nursery staff notice small hiccups in children's behaviour all the time and they put strategies in place to support the child as a matter of course. They would generally only raise it with a parent if the normal strategies weren't working and they had concerns about the child or needed support from the parent.

The job of the nursery staff is to give your child a safe and well resourced environment in which he can explore and learn in the right way for him. It is definitely not their job to train him to behave in a particular way for some ridiculous assessment.

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