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I'm thinking of putting my daughter in nursery for a day a week once she's 2. We had her down for one and then a friend who had a child in there told us there was a culture of biting and kicking in the toddler room so we thought we might give that one a miss after all. But we had no idea from looking around that, that was the case - so my question is, what are the things we should look for when visiting a nursery? We don't mind if it's not an a very academic environment, but I really don't want her to learn that biting / kicking / bullying is normal and acceptable. So we're looking for an environment where she'll learn how to socialise well with other kids I guess. What would you think indicates that, that we could see from visiting a nursery? Or do we really need to just go by friends' recommendations? BTW, if you know of a good one in SW8, please let me know! Thanks.

Staff who seem enthused and happy. Kids who are busy getting messy. We had DD down for a great nursery which ticked both those boxes, but I looked at the one at the end of our road just to be nosey and sent her there instead - the building is shabby, some of the toys have seen better days and there's no French conversation in the preschool room, but the manager was so passionate about childcare and the staff so friendly that I knew I wanted her to go there. The other nursery was also fab and I'd be happy enough for her to go there, but I didn't LOVE it like this one.
My friend's DD goes to a very shiny outstanding OFSTED-ed nursery and I wouldn't send mine there. We went to see her one lunchtime and the baby room is depressing, full of silent shuffling staff and crying kids.

Word of mouth is a great way to find one, so do ask friends and colleagues. Also remember that proximity to home is actually more convenient than proximity to work a lot of the time, for example if you are sick then you can still get DC to nursery and have the time to rest.

Look for low staff turnover. All nurseries have turnover, maybe due to young staff and low pay, but a high turnover isn't good.

See how they sell themselves to you, and whether it fits with what you want. We rejected the one that went on about how they disinfected surfaces 3x a day and only used their garden for sleeping babies and went for the one which promoted learning goals and a stimulating environment.

That's a good point about staff - in the year DD has been going, one person left after 6 years service and one has gone on mat leave. All their staff are full time and they take students on long placements so lots of continuity.

Thanks for the advice - now you mention it there is a high staff turnover at the nursery were there seems to be a lot of biting etc and that is something that rings alarm bells, although there hasn't always been high staff turnover and maybe there wasn't so much aggression then either! - I guess it was in fact quite good when we looked around it a couple of years ago, so maybe I didn't completely miss the warning signs then and should trust my judgement a bit more.

Check the outside play area. One nursery i went to visit had cat poo on the lawn, the owner merely apologised for not having had time that morning to do a check of the garden.

I would agree with the staff turnover as children get very attached to their key worker. And make sure the staff are actually spending time interacting with the children and not just checking off their early years goals in their folders!

A good nursery isn't spotless. The ones that are spend too much time cleaning.

Avoid nurseries that have more than 16 children in their baby or toddler room. It becomes impersonal and staff have to herd children rather than treat them as individuals.

Avoid nurseries with thick staff. When you go on a tour ask the workers you meet questions like "Why do you want to work with children?" See if they can answer in whole sentences without saying sounding like a footballer. The one showing you round will not be a fair representation of who will be looking after your child.

Happy staff and happy children.

Ofsted ratings are sometimes accurate but I have seen some shit outstanding nurseries.

when i do show arounds at my nursery I hope the parents are getting as honested a view as possible. I do not request that parents 'book' an appointment to come and view, if i am not here then staff explain and ask people to come back. This way the parents get to see the nursery exactly how it is at what ever time they choose. I have worked in so many nurseries where the team have to have a quick tidy up, set out new activities, quickly cuddle a distress baby etc so it looks good. My approach is 'this is what we offer it, isn't for everybody, but most people seem to like it'. After the show round I allow the parents and the child to spend some time in the room moving through the different areas and speaking to the staff. this is because i am confident in my team and know they aren't thick!! i really think its a gut reaction with these things. You will know what feels right and also how your child reacts to being in that situation. Ask about individualised care i.e. will my child have to starve becuase they didn't like the lunch or is something else offered? How does learning take place? what are the other children doing? Good luck