advice needed - friend's very prem baby ...

[Duritzfan]

Hi - we have just heard that our friends have had a very premature baby - 24 weeks...He was delivered yesterday and I am wondering what his prospects are .. He isnt even 2 pounds in weight...
We are waiting to hear if he made it through the night..

Anyone with any idea on this ? Any lovely stories ? Also, if any of you have experience of anything like this that can suggest what we could do for them ?

So far we have made a fuss and congratulated them - as if it was a normal birth - my feeling was that they should get to feel like "parents" even if its only for a short time...

any advice gratefully appreciated ..

[CocoK]

Hi - 24 weeks is very early, and the risk of complications are high. My friend recently gave birth at 27 weeks - he was just over 1 kg and in special care for ages. He suffered bleeding on the brain, which can lead to cerebral palsy or worse - I think this is not uncommon with very prem babies. He pulled through but they were told that they won't know what the long term effects on his development could be until he grows - maybe not until he reaches 5 (esp. in terms of special needs). However, after many weeks of worries, touch and go situations and loads of stress, he came home at what would have been 38 weeks and is now a healthy, happy baby of over 4 kg.

I think treating them as new parents is definitely the only sensitive and sensible way to go - send them a 'new baby' card and ask if you can help out by shuttling them to/from hospital sometimes, turning up with some home cooked food (for the freezer?) to help them eat properly, etc. Whatever happens, they'll have a rough road ahead, and will need all the support and understanding they can get.

The Bliss website will have lots of info for you and your friend, including a message board and helpline. I hope it all turns out well.

[Duritzfan]

Thanks CocoK .. have heard from them, he has made it through the night ..and this morning has opened his eyes and looked at his daddy - am so pleased they have had alittle time with him..even if the worst happens eventually..

We have organised a typical new baby gift for them and sent it - it will get to them today ..

I know there are already concerns about a bleed on the brain .. I really have no idea how good / bad things are ..

Unfortunately they are a long way away from us so we cant help practically until they come home....
Thanks for your advice .. I hope to have good news to report soon ...x

I nearly gave birth to my own child at 23 weeks, we had the incubator ready next to us .. that was years ago and I can remember every second ..was a very scary time ..so I have an inkling of how they will be feeling ...

[CMOTdibbler]

Lovely that you have sent the gift already - nothing worse than no one sending stuff.

A friend at uni had her baby at 24 weeks - although he was in until his due date, he is now a hulking teenager with no problems at all. Obviously though, it is very early, and it may be up and down for them over the next weeks and months.

Could you run to a M&S giftcard or similar so that they can buy easy food - that really mounts up over a few months

[norfolkBRONZEturkey]

I will echo asking on the bliss forum. They were a lifeline for me when I had my dd

[slim22]

A colleague's baby was born at 24 weeks 5 years ago.

They did the kangaroo method.

here

Bless him, he would leave work everyday at 3pm and go to hospital to have his baby lay bare on his chest for hours on end to give the mummy a chance to rest.
The mum also did the same as much as possible.

The little made it through and we all think this little baby received so much warmth and love being heart to heart literally, hearing the heartbeat of her parents and feeling their warmth.
The mum and dad also benefitted greatly from being very close to the baby, they were empowered to help.

Of course all situations are different but this a method that was tested in third world countries were their was no other hope, no incubators and it is gaining momentum.

She is a very healthy bubbly little girl now.

Maybe worth discussing?

Sending many good wishes to this family.

[anonandlikeit]

Hi Congratulations to your friends, I hope teh little one is still doing weel.
Our ds2 was born at 28 wks, it is without doubt the most emotional, scary, difficult thing for any parent to go through.

24 wks is very early but lots of babies do very well, although there are lots of possible hurdles along the way & the DR's ar every good at painting the bleakest picture.

Your frines are in for a long, exhausting experience . it will be months, rather than weeks before their lo is home.

You are completly right to treat them like any other new parents, we got lost in the SCBU experience & forgot to do normal things like taking photos & videa etc. However scary or difficult they are still their childs first days & should be cherished.

DS2 is 6 now & does have some disabilities due to his prematurity, but he also had complications. He is however a fantastic, happy, funny little boy.
Best wishes xx