New to Mumsnet so not sure if posting this is 'normal', but seems like people are quite open on here so thought I would just share my thoughts in my first thread!
So I'm about to finish my 3 longgggg years on my nursing degree (so happy!!)
BUT, I've been craving to have children from such a young age, but have always had relationship breakdowns and ultimately held out, due to wanting financial security and to fully get to know someone before getting pregnant just because I want one..
Anyway, my lovely OH (been together over a year now) and I have decided that we are going to start trying this time next year, after we save a bit more, have a holiday, enjoy eachother etc. and I work for a while as a nurse, getting experience for the future!!!
All sounds pretty perfect right...?
Nope! Day by day, I have found myself becoming increasingly excited, which then makes me sad, because I keep thinking about it, and how much I want to love this child. It almost makes seeing newborns, friends with babies around me etc. worse - because I'm so ready physically mentally and emotionally... We thought we were accidentally pregnant on the pill this month, and I was almost hoping I was despite the 'plan'... To no avail though - it was just a breakthrough bleed sad I feel insane..... I just want to know this is 'normal' or not??!!
I then made the mistake of searching for looking at baby stuff online and am starting to think it's becoming an obsession! It is breaking my heart more and more, because I'm so sick of waiting... Every baby advert every friend who announces their pregnancy or updates on Facebook makes me realise how long I have to wait..
I've never really been with someone who has treated me well, which my OH does, amazingly.. Never been with someone who I've planned to have children with before, so this is the first (for us both) time I have decided on it.. He has shown me he will be a brilliant Dad (which I never had growing up), so I'm thinking this may be the reason why I'm like this? The thought of finally having that family unit... I can't wait!
Obviously I know things won't be perfect - far from, I understand how babies are as I've grown up with them around me. I just wonder if anyone else got like this when they sort of 'decided' when they would start to try??
Hope this wasn't too long and any anecdotes will be appreciated smile