This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Please help me (topic about abortion)

(25 Posts)
Jodieforever91 Wed 04-May-16 21:26:30

I took the first medical abortion pill last night and I'm in serious regret already. I understand what the pill does but after some google searches I have come across the site and the success stories of abortion pill reversal. This gave me some hope but I don't see how it could possibly work!? I hate to say this but I'm sure my baby is dead now?

This is my second abortion. The first one took me 2.5 years to "get over it"

I know I shouldn't have booked the appointment if I was in two minds, I already hate myself sad

MyBreadIsEggy Wed 04-May-16 21:29:49

Didn't want to read and run....
I have no practical advice to offer, but maybe if you ask for this to be moved to the "Pregnancy choices" board, you might find someone with a bit more insight/helpful advice?? flowers

Jodieforever91 Wed 04-May-16 21:32:49

Thank you for replying smile I'm new to the forum and wasn't too sure where to post and also not sure how to ask for this thread to be moved?

winchester1 Wed 04-May-16 21:34:01

For me it helped to.concentrate on the practical reasons for getting the abortion. I found my emotions were irrational and almost not my own as they were so affected by my hormones.

MyBreadIsEggy Wed 04-May-16 21:34:43

Just done it for you lovely flowers
Hope you find someone who can help flowers

winchester1 Wed 04-May-16 21:37:44

Just asked for your thread to be moved over to flowers

DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 04-May-16 21:43:14

We've moved this thread over to Pregnancy Choices now.

Hope you're okay, OP. flowers

YorkieDorkie Wed 04-May-16 21:43:16

Another one not wishing to read and run - no practical advice... I hope you find the answer you're looking for flowers.

DreamingofItaly Wed 04-May-16 22:05:01

I agree with winchester. When I went in for my appointment I burst into tears and the docs refused me. I went back a week later having thought about all the reasons why we'd made the decision and it felt better, not easy, but right. My DP came with me too, not that they let him in but it was our decision and he was there with me. We both went through it.

You should get some professional advice on if the reversal stuff really works, I've no experience of it, but Google can be your worst enemy.

If it took you 2.5 years to get over the first one, I have to ask, why again? I think you may need to look at your methods of contraception (not judging, nothing is 100%, I got pregnant on the pill).

I think about my abortion regularly and wonder what it would be like if the decision had been different, but I know it was the right thing for us at the time. It sounds selfish, it kinda is, but you need to think about you and why you made this decision in the first place. It's hard but you can get through it, whatever you choose flowers

Jodieforever91 Thu 05-May-16 07:52:40

I decided to get up about 15 minutes ago and brush my teeth... I made it into the bathroom and started to feel sick... A few seconds later I was throwing up.

I had my first pill on Tuesday and during Wednesday I've been feeling sick, the same as my usual morning sickness. Is this normal? I was told the first pill stops the pregnancy hormones. I'm also hoping that I'm still pregnant even though it is very highly doubtful sad

I'm having the second pill in a couple of hours and I'm really scared, I have no support from friends or family.

RJnomore1 Thu 05-May-16 07:58:06

Love I don't know what to say to you, what are your reasons for terminating and are you sure you want to take the second pill? I'm worried about you, have you been coerced into this in any way?

cantbelieveImquittingcoffee Thu 05-May-16 07:58:08

So sorry to hear you are suffering OP flowers
I have no information for you I'm afraid but I have a friend who went through similar regret and I know it was really hard for her -

might this information help? Perhaps try caling for advice before taking the second pill?
https://www.mariestopes.org.uk/women/abortion/abortion-aftercare/taking-your-medical-abortion-pills

Jodieforever91 Thu 05-May-16 08:06:55

Thank you for your replies flowers

My reasons for terminating are selfish and I regret choosing abortion.

The first pill stops the pregnancy which I believe that the heart stops beating sad I believe I have no choice but to take the second pill if the first pill 100% worked sad

My first pregnancy was awful and I was feeling sick pretty much all day, every day but this pregnancy has been so different, not including today, I've only been physically sick 3 times and I'm just under 10 weeks.

I partially feel forced into having it however it was my initial choice. I regretted that decision as my partner was booking the appointment on the phone. I also never liked the idea of my baby not having a father which I now regret too as there are so many wonderful single mums who do a great job at bringing up their children.

RJnomore1 Thu 05-May-16 08:17:19

Oh love.

I don't know what to suggest apart from to get them to check carefully what has happened so far when you go to your appointment. Can you tell them how you feel when you get there?

flowers

Jodieforever91 Thu 05-May-16 08:40:35

I'm supposed to take 4 ibuprofen tablets before I go to the clinic and I genuinely don't want to but I'm scared that they'll give me a bollocking for not taking them sad I also know they are for my pain relief and this next part is going to be very painful but I'm just denying that my baby is dead I guess and just wishing for the best and I know I'm just getting my hopes up sad

I feel as if I love the baby already but what kind of person kills something they lovesad

During the second part of the termination there is supposed to be a few clots passing and I know one of them will contain the sac with the baby in, I really don't want them to end up being flushed down the toilet, this alone is scaring me. I feel so hopeless and alone sad my appointment is just over a hour away and I have to leave the house in about 40 minutes, I just wish I could turn back time. The nurse did ask me if I was sure before taking the first tablet as there is no going back.

Why am I so stupid and selfish?

lougle Thu 05-May-16 08:41:39

Why don't you ask them to check what has happened so far and whether you can stop the process now?

JonSnowsBeardClippings Thu 05-May-16 08:55:15

You're not stupid or selfish but you sound very distressed and confused. Take the painkillers, there is no good reason not to.

Jodieforever91 Thu 05-May-16 08:56:35

I can ask, I just don't know if they will since the nurse did tell me there's no going back after taking the first pill sad I'm also worried as I don't know how I'll react to the confirmation that my pregnancy is no longer there sad

YorkieDorkie Thu 05-May-16 09:16:08

This is really awful OP sad I know it seems like whatever you do you'll be upset. Try to remember that the medical people are there for YOU. If you need confirmation of whether you're still pregnant, can't you see your midwife to see if there's a heartbeat? I don't know any more about it but if you want to see if you can go through with the pregnancy then surely you need to say something now?

Heavenscent86 Thu 05-May-16 14:31:31

How are things now?

Jodieforever91 Wed 11-May-16 13:34:18

I've had the abortion sad I've been crying multiple times a day for the past week.

Honestly, I've not bathed for a week and stayed in due to the fact I still bleed heavily whilst taking a bath.

Anyway, I just ran myself a bath(it's six days since I took the second lot of pills) and whilst sitting in the bath, it felt like something was inside of my vagina but I thought it was just the pressure of the water, a few seconds later a trail of blood leaks out followed by another massive bloodclot(I've not had big clots since Thursday) I've just been staring at it horrified and believe I can see a fetus's face(I could just be seeing faces in tissue I'm not 100% sure) but it's freaked me out and I don't know what to do.

I was told the pregnancy would pass within 4 hours of the second lot of pills(last Thursday)

If this is my baby, this must mean that they've been stuck inside of me for the past week?!

I guess you can see why I'm seriously creeped out. I still regret the abortion and everyday I'm wishing I could turn back time and not take that first pill.

Ouriana Wed 11-May-16 13:44:40

At 9/10 weeks you wouldnt be able to see a face. At the very most it would only have been 4cm long.

Please stop hating yourself, you were in a terrible sitiation and had to do what was best for you, and you did.

This will work out for the best and one day you will be an amzing mother, but it may be worth having a chat with gp or friends about how down you are feeling

JonSnowsBeardClippings Wed 11-May-16 13:54:56

It wasn't a face sweetheart it was just clots from your uterus. I'm sorry you're feeling so awful flowers

Jodieforever91 Wed 11-May-16 14:03:08

Is it normal to have massive clots 6 days after the second lot of pills? It's the first one since Thursday which is why I'm freaking outshock

This sounds like a silly question but I don't know how to remove it from the bathtub and I don't want to remove it with my bare hands sad

JonSnowsBeardClippings Wed 11-May-16 15:34:33

A big wad of tissue, into a paper bag and that way you could bury it if you don't want to bin it flowers

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