surgical termination booked - terrified :( any positive stories?

[BFPanxiety]

I do have a previous thread about anxiety when I got my BFP a few weeks ago (hence the username).

Since then, I've discovered that it's actually PTSD that I have - from having my DD 19 years ago.

To cut a long story short, for a number of reasons, I decided that a termination would be best for me. The hospital appointment wasn't great, the nurse tried to put me off having a surgical by saying there were big risks attached to it - she actually said 'you're a big girl' . However, I insisted that a surgical was right for me as I think having to pass the tissue under a medical, would cause me further anguish.

I was then told I'd need a blood test at the consultation. I am absolutely petrified of needles and told the nurse this. She then responded with 'well, if you don't have the blood test then you can have a termination' . At this point I was mid panic attack at the thought of the needle and insisted I couldn't go through with it. She then backed down and said that they'd take blood when I was under GA for the surgical.

So, my appointment is Monday. I have to fast from midnight, and be at the hospital for 7.30am. DH will come with me.

I'm terrified. The needle in my hand is my biggest worry - do you think they'll give me some Valium or something to take first?

Also, how long will I be in for? Will DH be waiting around all day? And what about bleeding afterwards? Will it be really heavy and last for weeks? We're due to go on holiday next weekend and although the GP has said I should be fine to fly, I'm terrified that I won't be.

Having googled, I've read some horror stories. Does anyone on here have any positive stories that they wouldn't Mind sharing please? Or anyone that could just hold my hand even.

[BFPanxiety]

Bump

[princessrose]

Hi - I very rarely post but felt I had to reply and try to reassure you. I had a surgical termination in December. I went in at 9.15 and was allowed to leave at 3.30 ish. Would have been earlier but they needed a second anaesthetist to come in so I was waiting around in the morning. I didn't have a blood test with a needle but the finger prick test? I filled in all the forms etc then after waiting for two hours I took a special pill to soften the uterus. Like you I had googled this and was terrified. I told the nurses and they took me to the ward to take the pill incase i had any reaction but I just felt shivery. When I was taken into the theatre the worst bit was lying flat on the bed/trolley and waiting but the anaesthetist put in the cannula while he was talking to me, just felt like a scratch. Didn't see anything. After a few seconds I was out and the next thing I remember was coming round in recovery and being given some tea and a biscuit. All the nurses were kind and sympathetic. My blood presume dropped so I stayed in recovery for a bit longer and was given pain killers. No pain though. Bled for maybe two days but very light. I got quite bloated for a few days afterwards but felt fine. I was surprised how uncomplicated and pain free it was. The nurses took all my concerns seriously and made sure I was ok at all times. My partner looked after the kids so I took a friend. You will be fine, honestly. Please ask any questions tho xxxxx

[FellOutOfBedTwice]

Just read your other thread OP and see this is a miracle baby after years of trying. Sorry if this is the wrong question, but you seem very mixed up. Do you definitely want an abortion? If that's not a question you want to answer, ignore it.

[Branleuse]

fell out of bed twice - where did you get that from???


OP ive had a surgical abortion and I was in and out the same day. It was quite simple and I was very relieved it was all over xx

[FellOutOfBedTwice]

Bran the OP posted a couple of weeks ago talking about her infertility over a number of years and the shock of finding out she was pregnant now.

[BFPanxiety]

Princessrose and bran, thank you so much for sharing your stories. I've read reports of really bad cramping, infections, bleeding for months etc and although it terrifies me, I can't stop reading. Were you given antibiotics to take too? Apparently I'll have to take an antibiotic suppository and also pessaries to soften the cervix. Will I have to insert these myself? Or do they do it when I'm asleep?

Felloutofbed - yes, it is somewhat a miracle pregnancy. I didn't realize though that I had PTSD until I got my BFP, was suffering terribly with anxiety, and started speaking with doctors and counsellors. I was very young (teenager) when I had my DD. I had a very quick labour and a bit of a traumatic birth - forceps, ventouse, episiotomy, stitches etc. Yes, I could have further counseling and continue with pregnancy but I took a lot of time to talk about it and think about it. Psychologically, it's better for me that I terminate. I know that's awfully selfish, but I didn't make the decision lightly.

[mudandmayhem01]

Nothing selfish about making the best decision for you and your family in difficult circumstances

[FellOutOfBedTwice]

God no, not selfish at all, I was just worried you were rushing in in a panic but you have to do what's right for you and your family.

[woodcabernet]

I had a surgical abortion many years ago and it was fine - in and out within hours. A bit of cramping after, and light bleeding. I felt nothing emotionally after other than relief! Relieved and pleased it had been done

I had the same procedure after a missed miscarriage a couple of years ago and that was fine too. A bit of cramping and bleeding

You will be fine! Stop reading horror stories.

[Whataboutnodetox]

I had to have a surgical termination a few years ago. It was fine, had consultation, taken up and got in gown, laid on table and they put me out. Woke up in recovery. Had to sit in a chair in the next recovery room for a certain length of time then dressed and down to a lounge where my husband was. Had to eat and drink something and then was allowed to leave. I had cramps after but hot water bottle and pain killers sorted that out. Bled for a couple of weeks maybe 10 days and then went on holiday. It was t awful, it was just not fun. Emotionally it was hard for me, but it wasn't a choice for me. I think you have to take on board you will have feelings afterwards.

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

I have also had a surgical termination under GA in the past.

Honestly, it was fine. I was unconscious for around 10 minutes & came out of the anaesthetic without any problems at all.

I had very light bleeding and virtually no pain or cramping at all.

It's a horrible situation to be in, but the procedure itself is usually fine .

[BFPanxiety]

It absolutely is the right decision for me, and for us. I feel relief now, knowing that I'm not continuing with the pregnancy. Tinged with guilt though that I feel such relief - not sure if that makes sense or not but I guess it will to those of you that have been here.

Thank you worrying Felloutofbed, completely understand why you asked. I probably should have said as part of my OP.

Thanks for your positive stories too, I'm hoping some of you may still be around on Sunday night to hold my hand too

[princessrose]

Was given antibiotics (oral) to take afterwards. Think there may have been pessaries but must have been inserted while I was under GA. Worrying and waiting were the worst bits.

[Whataboutnodetox]

Lots of hand holding available now and on Sunday.

[BFPanxiety]

Is there anyone around to hold my hand tonight please?

12 hours until I go in. In 24 hours it will all be over. I need to concentrate on the second part somehow. Except I can't. I feel sick, my hands are clammy, my heart is racing. God knows what I will be like in 12 hours.

I hope I'm seen to quickly, and not left to lay around for hours panicking and making myself ill

[BFPanxiety]

[mellowyellow1]

Hope you are okay and manage to get some sleep. Please don't be too scared as it's really a safe procedure and nothing that you can't handle. I hope that they don't keep you in for too long. Before you know it will all be over and the physical aspects are really not too bad at all. You may feel a bit teary for a while afterwards but that is totally normal too.

Wishing you the best of luck. Any questions feel free to pm me

[BFPanxiety]

Thank you mellow. I'm more scared of the needle to put me sleep than anything else tbh.

I did start another thread and a poster there suggested that I ask for something to calm me down when I get there.

I really hope they'll give me something. I hate feeling like this. It's so irrational. I know I'll be fine and that I'm not in any danger, but the fear and anxiety is so overwhelming. I go on holiday next week and I'm trying to focus on that but after only a few seconds, the fear comes back

[mellowyellow1]

Yes they might be able to give you something if they know how scared you are of needles, I'm sure it's very common and they must have some coping strategies in place for this.

It's not irrational to feel scared and panicky. I remember not sleeping much at all the night before. Just keep focusing on that holiday - Good luck

[BFPanxiety]

Just wanted to update and say that everything went ok yesterday. I went into hospital at 7.30am, went to theatre approx 11.30am and was back on the ward by 12.30pm. I was eventually discharged at 6pm last night.

They wouldn't give me anything before the anaesthetic so I was hysterical going down to theatre and in the anaesthetic room. Was given oxygen and a nurses hand to squeeze while they put the cannula in, but it was of little use. Thankfully it was only for a minute or so before I was asleep.

I feel good today, still got some bleeding but not as much as I thought. An overwhelming sense of relief though that it's all over.

Thank you all for your support, handholding and positive stories

[Whataboutnodetox]

I've been thinking of you, glad it all went OK in the end. Soon this will be a tiny object in your rear view mirror.

[BFPanxiety]

Thanks whatabout, and how lovely that you were thinking of me too

[MagicalHamSandwich]

I had one, too. Felt a bit wobbly walking out (after about 1hr) but could walk myself home and went to work the following day (feeling a bit off but nothing I couldn't handle).

I did feel sore afterwards and was on painkillers for about a week. I also passed a humongous blood clot at one stage but was told not to worry when I phoned in. And it was only one.

Well worth not having a child with an utterly useless moron at the tender age of 22. Thinking about it I feel relieved all over again!

Wish you all the best, OP!

[BFPanxiety]

Thank you magical, and thanks for sharing too

[Branleuse]

im glad it went ok OP.

You may well find you have a big hormone drop over the next few weeks, like mild PND, just to warn you xx