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How much do you do in a day

(44 Posts)
Mistyautumn Wed 30-Jul-14 11:45:21

I am on mat leave now and am finding it frustrating not getting as much as I want done. I am looking at a pile if ironing and washing up that I need to do and I just can't find the energy.

I really want to get the house all ready for baby's arrival but can't seem to get on top of it. I just feel really guilty as I thought when I wasn't working full time I would manage to get it all sorted. Please tell me I am not alone!

Absolutely not alone. I have done a load of laundry and hung it outside today and was feeling hugely smug and proud of myself until I looked out the window and realised it looks like rain. I can't bring myself to get off the sofa to go and bring it in! So it might just get rained on blush

squizita Wed 30-Jul-14 11:56:56

YES! I had a complete meltdown (IRL and on here) about this this other day.

It's so frustrating because you know 'normal' you could do it but 'pregnant' you can't!!

I am breaking it down and doing what needs doing. I have also bribed my mum with a lunch out to do some tasks.
DH is also on board, told him he will need to know how to do all this if he doesn't want a bombsite of a house for the next 18 years! grin He's actually quite proud of helping out, like "yeah, I'm doing dad things already, I'm going to be a highly skilled ninja dad!" smile

Right now I am letting some foamy cleaner spray 'work' on my kitchen. 3 minutes my arse, it will be for as long as this cuppa takes... wink

Woodl3s Wed 30-Jul-14 12:02:19

I'm only 20 weeks and I feel like this! The other day before y shift started, all I did was lie down and sleep! The house was a mess and I knew I should have been getting on with the ironing, washing, etc but couldn't physically do it. I also feel guilty because I only work 4 days a week (shift work) and my dp works 7 days a week, so I know I should be making sure the house is nice and tidy for him as he doesn't have the energy to do it when he comes in.

Me23 Wed 30-Jul-14 12:12:50

I'm struggling a lot I would be anyway but I have severe anaemia on top of normal pregnancy tiredness has me totally wiped out! My haemoglobin level is at 8.5 and ferritin only 5. It is almost impossible to walk up the stairs or do anything without feeling like I will collapse. I also have 2 other kids to look after consequently the house is a state.

Em1503 Wed 30-Jul-14 12:38:16

I'm overdue so have been on maternity leave for 4 weeks now. I started off with loads of energy but gradually have had to slow down loads. I'd say don't push yourself too much as I did that on some days and I paid for it the next. Just take it easy, do a few bits then have a rest and prioritise what needs doing. Also, don't feel guilty if you don't do much (anything!) some days!

Mistyautumn Wed 30-Jul-14 12:53:10

Thanks for making me feel less alone guys. I am trying not to feel too guilty but am struggling. Am also feeling a bit peeved as I actually seem to be spending a lot of time clearing up after hubbie. He just doesn't see things in the same way. So far the toilet roll fairy has restocked the bathrooms and the towel fairy has put his shower towel in a sensible place to dry then put it away. Not to mention the recycling has been taken out (sounds simple but I live in a town house so everything involves stairs), bed has been stripped and the washing up he did has actually been put away.

The washing up and ironing fairy have decided to go on strike as I am going to friends for dinner and a nap is going to be of more importance this afternoon if I want to try and make adult conversation xx

Marnierose Wed 30-Jul-14 16:13:12

I can't stop. I wish my energy would subside and force me to rest! Just take it day by day. Far better to be physically and emotionally rested for the big day than have a tidy house and be frazzled (like me).

Redling Wed 30-Jul-14 17:38:22

I get up at my normal work time still because I can do stuff for about an hour, clean kitchen, put a wash on, tidy up living room and then I crash and rest for most the day until about 4pm when I can cope with cooking. I have no guilt however as it's such a small period of my life where I feel like this and there is nothing so urgent that I need to stress about it. It's only a month at most left (and that's if I go waaaay overdue) not forever. So I'm embracing my afternoon naps and 2 hour baths because right now in need them and I'm not going to get them again for a long time if ever!

Heatherbell1978 Wed 30-Jul-14 18:36:17

I was just whinging about this to a friend today! I'm 37+5 and in my third week of mat leave. I'm actually bored but there's so much I could be doing.....but can't find the energy for! Even on the days when DH leaves me the car, I can't bring myself to actually go out and do something constructive with it. Starting to feel guilty because I'm sure some of it is laziness. I was all go when I was at work, walking to and fm work every day and going to all my yoga classes. It's like my body has switched off the minute I left the office!

ithoughtofitfirst Wed 30-Jul-14 19:14:43

Whatever you do ladies don't fight it. I've been using 'beast mode' for my depression for years when I lack motivation. This does NOT work in pregnancy (well at least not for me!). I want frolicking round some castle in west Wales on monday and walked for miles, then yesterday helped my 40 weeks pregnant friend get sorted for her baby and today I am absolutely FOOKED. I had a 3 hour nap with DS. The kitchen is a mess, the washing pile is massive, there are toys absolutely everywhere... dh is working a 12 hour day. Ds will definitely still be up when he gets home!

Absofrigginlootly Wed 30-Jul-14 20:00:06

me23 with a hb of 8.5 you are borderline for having a blood transfusion!! Are you on any treatment for it?? You should be....!! Get something sorted ASAP.....severe anaemia can start to affect the baby because there is no enough oxygen in your blood to go round. Stay well smile

LongStory Wed 30-Jul-14 20:22:48

I remember looking at three bin bags of generous clothes donations for the babies (twins), and crying as I didn't have the energy to open them, sort and wash. Go with it, resting is the best thing you can do.

poglette Thu 31-Jul-14 02:12:37

This thread is such a relief! I am 37 weeks and been beating myself up about not making enough progress with the book I'm writing, let alone the huge house clear up that is supposed to be happening before baby arrives. Am on chapter 7 out of 8; was hoping to get all the main chapter text done but now I don't know if I'll even finish chapter 7confused

WantAnOrange Thu 31-Jul-14 06:19:53

I'm 11 weeks and have felt like this since about 5 weeks. The first 3 months are the absolute worst bit for me. I am being crap at everything. The house is a shit pit, the kids are bored and my patience has run out. I feel exhausted when I'm lying down alone in bed, how is that possible?

blankfornames Thu 31-Jul-14 07:57:44

Whatanorange, I'm 11 wks today & I'm exactly the same. I currently have two factors working in my favour, am a teacher on holidays & this baba will be my first. I've no idea how I'd cope with other children to take care of! DH is THE most active person I've ever met & cannot sit still. Walking up the stairs tires me out these days. When does the glowing/energetic part of pregnany kick in??!

Me23 Thu 31-Jul-14 09:13:57

absolfrigginglutrly thank you for your concern, I am on treatment ferrous fumarate liquid x2 day. Discussed cosmofer (iron infusion) with consultant (personally I would have preferred that as don't tolerate oral treatments well, but cons reluctant to try as a first line treatment (I'm a midwife so I knew what they were going to say!) but have decided to try oral treatment for 4 weeks then if no improvement on bloods will go for infusion.

cloudyatlas Thu 31-Jul-14 09:15:09

I'm the same: 37+6 weeks with an enormous to-do list that I am slowly making a small dent in. I know it's going to be hectic after the birth so I'm doing what I can... I have to be satisfied with small gains though!
Also, despite being a very decisive person at work I am now vacillating over every little decision...

1stMrsF Thu 31-Jul-14 10:29:53

It's a real conflict of hormones as I remember. You want to nest and get ready for baby, but you are so tired you can't. Particularly in this heat. I am not pg and I can't be bothered to do the ironing. I would do one tiny job each day, then sit on the sofa and eat cake and watch TV and feel proud of achieving that.

DearDinah Thu 31-Jul-14 11:00:13

Me too, been on mat leave for a week & it's like I've been hit by a train of tiredness, and it seems since I announced my leave, every man & his dog wants me to do something with them! I did loads yesterday, today I feel like lead!
I'm not cleaning anything today!

Redling Thu 31-Jul-14 11:01:11

This morning the Hoover broke, a bookcase collapsed and somehow my fridge door came off the hinge at the top! My response to this has been to retreat upstairs to bed as I can't cope with that much! My parents are visiting tomorrow so DH and them will have to sort this for me, I'm too pregnant for this chaos sad

squizita Thu 31-Jul-14 11:09:50

Redling sad I had that kind of day last week. Plastering the spare room, the plasterer broke the radiator, which in turn broke the heating and flooded the room. When cleaning up the hoover broke.

Yup. Give up and hide. People can solve this for you.

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 31-Jul-14 14:28:46

Oh no carnage! I couldn't cope with that either.

I'm having another day of doing nothing other than looking after DS.

I feel less guilty today. I just think I won't be like this forever might as well milk it.

Absofrigginlootly Thu 31-Jul-14 15:51:55

Ah good me23 glad you're having treatment....thought you probably were but you never know! Also, sorry didn't know you were a midwife! blush....... You would know way more than me then!!! grin

ohthegoats Thu 31-Jul-14 15:56:49

Yesterday I did three coats of paint on top of plaster in a bedroom, including the ceilings. I went out and bought said paint, did a mini food shop, washed up, ate reasonable food prepared properly, cut up a carpet, threw it out the window, loaded up carpet and underlay into the car to take to the tip first thing this morning, pulled up carpet tack stuff around the room with a crowbar, hovered, moved a king sized mattress into said bedroom onto the boards, set up a bed, had a bath...

... today I can't really move very easily, so have managed a short trip to Wickes, a disappointing 10 minutes of cutting on of the new paint colour around the window, eating of a sausage roll and some cherries, and a LOT of sitting down internet window shopping'.

So, some days loads... some days pretty much nada. Later I might read a book about breast feeding or sleep training.

allduffedup Thu 31-Jul-14 19:12:52

Gosh goats take it easy!

I can't wait for mat leave - one more week to go! I'm 36 weeks and have a strong urge to nest, but no time. I'm still working full time, and evenings/weekends are filled up with pregnancy yoga, hobby, painting the nursery and meet ups with friends.

squizita Thu 31-Jul-14 19:21:41

I am having a massive anxiety flare up and spending most of my time lying on my left side monitoring movement: not because logically I have any reduced movement (I don't) but because I weirdly hardly believe the movement I feel/see and an anxious voice within says 'it's just gas'. Foot shaped gas my arse. sad
SO frustrating: if I wasn't on holiday I would still be at work. There is no excuse, I have so much to do and I hate lying here in fear.
My count the kicks bracelet is at its usual level for the time of day but I still have horrible feelings I'm fooling myself. sad

Might have to force myself to go out tomorrow.

Advancedtech Thu 31-Jul-14 19:59:58

I'm on a mission, 7 weeks to go and this week I have decorated my kids bedroom, built new furniture for them and replaced my fencing inky back garden.

I have taken the summer hols off with my 3 DC's as holiday leave before I start my maternity leave and I still have 2 more rooms to decorate and a garden to finish by laying decking, digging flower beds etc and just generally get the house straight and have a huge clear out!

I'm going to chill out and relax the for the two weeks when kids are back at school before baby is due!

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 31-Jul-14 20:15:40

I had a shower today.

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 31-Jul-14 20:16:52

And cut my nails.op

MrsNutella Thu 31-Jul-14 20:24:53

Ahhhh this is the thread I needed today! So glad I'm not alone!
I'm 40+1.
Thank goodness DH has been working from home a lot lately <read doing the minim of work and taking DS for a walk most days>. I've started getting a bit of PGP type pain the last few weeks. I feel so sorry for DS (he is a super active 18 month old) because I am so boring. If I do too much I really really pay for it and it's driving me nuts. Thanks goodness I know it's almost over.

If only the stupid people walking their dogs outside would separate them so that they stop ducking (haha auto correct) barking! Seriously people! What's wrong with you!

cdwales Fri 01-Aug-14 10:57:38

I have a theory - if you are obedient to your brain during pregnancy it may not need to clobber you with pain during labour! Be compliant as it is in charge and has a vital job to do...
I had two deliveries with no pain and I did not know Stage one was even happening. There is no logic about the pain during labour - it only muscles contracting as they were designed to do.
Of course we dare not mention this in conversations with other women as for some weird reason they seem to take it as a personal criticism!!!! Sometimes our eyes meet though.

ithoughtofitfirst Fri 01-Aug-14 11:34:16

It's all about feeling calm and in control.

She says. hmm

I feel SO guilty today. My like ds is on the prowl looking for things to entertain him. I'm just lying on the sofa drifting in and out of sleep. I'm withdrawing from my ADs and feel horrendous.

I'm not getting ANYTHING done.

squizita Fri 01-Aug-14 12:00:50

CDWales there is logic to pain during childbirth. It's very obvious and natural from a physiological perspective and makes perfect sense that it should happen. It is pain not harm It is muscular pain in the same way as marathon runners feel muscular pain: extreme muscle use over a long time hurts. Even the most dedicated distance runner or gym bunny will tell you extended and powerful use of muscles hurts ... all the more so because uterine contractions are muscles which do not get used (and indeed are involuntary for most of our lives) so it's a big surprise to the system when they start to!
What does vary from person to person is the extent to which the body can deal with the hormones and lactic acids produced, and the sensitivity of nerve endings and pain signals in different parts of the body. And, of course, the lie of each baby. This is why some people labour with relatively little pain compared to others.
In fact, painless labours are considered risky by some: the risks of not going somewhere safe (be that home, MLU or hospital) and alerting HCP in time (because painless labours don't mean less chance of tears, PPH or a cord round the baby's neck: again, a psychological assumption is less pain = safer but of course that's not the case).
Pain historically was very useful to the community in knowing when to gather up a woman and support her.

We are conditioned - for survival - by life to think pain = injury. Hence many people become confused by the idea of labour pain: especially in the modern era when we don't trek over mountains to survive.
There seem to be a lot of people who claim birth isn't painful but IMO this is almost missing the point - selling to us 21st century yummy mummy want to hear solutions to everything (we don't want drugs, but we don't want pain).

I know someone for whom this attitude caused significant mental health issues. She was convinced there was a 'method' to feel no pain (not even hypnosis, just a liefstyle) and blamed herself for a (healthy but long) labour.
It wasn't the pain that traumatised her, so much as believing she could/should have engaged some method to get rid of it.
It's there for a reason. Thankfully we no longer need it (so people can use drugs or hypnobirthing or birth skills), but you can't just wish it away...

Cupcakes123 Fri 01-Aug-14 12:06:10

I'm 37 weeks, mat leave just started. I am bloody knackered.
Just put the Moses basket stand together and it nearly tipped me over the edge! Am now recovering (by drinking DP's summer fruits and eating his posh biscuits smile)

MrsNutella Fri 01-Aug-14 13:41:23

cdwales it's fine to have a theory but I think it is also necessary to accept that we are all individuals and we all experience something different. squizita puts it very well.

offside Fri 01-Aug-14 14:06:29

The day I went on mat leave I got struck with sciatica and it also happened to be only a week after we completed on our house so I felt absolutelu useless. Family and friends dug in and 5 weeks later we are in a suitable position to welcome baby.

For the past few days I've actually had loads of energy and have woke up super early excited about cleaning but when it comes down to it I just can't do as much as I think. Doesn't help that I mopped the floors and then DP comes home, doesn't take his shoes off and gets muddy footprints everywhere!! Definitely made me give up for the day! Not to mention the line of washing that is now piss wet through because it's pouring down!

fidgetywidget Fri 01-Aug-14 19:31:24

Soooo glad to find lots of other people in the same state as me! I'm 33+4 & I've just had a crap day at work where everything went wrong, came so close to crying about it, but I work with all men so managed to hold it in! I've just stopped my second job earlier this week & I think my body has gone into shut down, I'm exhausted! Supposed to be bathing dd (4y) now but just letting her play as I haven't the energy for the tussle involved with hair washing! Oh well, only 3 more weeks of my main job to go.
Last time I spent all of my mat leave before baby arrived painting 3 rooms, this time I'll be sewing name labels for dd starting school but I think that'll be about it! Hot weather definitely makes late pregnancy harder!

Mistyautumn Sat 02-Aug-14 14:28:05

So pleased it wasn't just me after all!!! Actually feeling quite proud of myself today. I have put some washing on and transferred to the tumble dryer (chucking it down here), done a load of ironing, done the washing up and most importantly spent some time cuddling the cat!!

squizita Sat 02-Aug-14 15:41:55

I'm half way through tidying our bedroom (proper tidy, under the bed etc'). Feel like superwoman. A very slow, egg shaped version.

Eatscones Sat 02-Aug-14 17:29:25

I have good days and bad days ... The other day I was doing errands, walking miles, cleaned the house, did the laundry, played with DD outside and felt super accomplished ... today I feel proud that I got out of my pj's smile

ACM88 Sat 02-Aug-14 17:41:24

Today I baked a rhubarb crumble and ate 90% of it, now I'm shattered! Little tasks is the key, nothing is that urgent that it can't wait!

ithoughtofitfirst Sat 02-Aug-14 18:38:32

Mmmm baking you say.... interesting

anotherdayanothersquabble Sun 03-Aug-14 23:50:36

In the immortal words of Jenny Gifford in Cold Feet. 'It says here that not all women experience the nesting instinct and they should not feel guilty or be made to feel guilty.' I think she might have followed it up by getting Pete to pay for a cleaner!!

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