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Is it okay to say I'm not a fan of the pregnancy experience?

(82 Posts)
januaryJump Sat 05-Apr-14 12:44:24

Only 7wks with DC2 (surprise baby! DC1 is 16mo). Already tired of the 24h nausea - well, I'm just tired anyway - and had first vomit this morning, ick. Housework already taking a backseat and planning to go on leave at earliest opportunity, around 27wks. Sounds early days, I know, but all I can think of is taking time off and hiring a cleaner blush Hips, back and pelvis already ache and I can't really stomach anything other than sandwiches and lemonade. Tons to do for work and study but struggling at the moment.

I'm grateful to be pregnant and though it was a surprise we're very happy, hoping everything goes perfectly and looking forward to meeting our second little one. I know it could also be harder so I'm trying to be very positive.

...I just really don't enjoy pregnancy! I'm not the only one, right? My two closest friends "loved being pregnant" and had "fantastic pregnancies", so they don't quite understand why I don't. I'm sure I'll perk up a bit in the 2nd tri with hopefully no sickness but in pg1 I was just so tired and achey all of the time. I got a trapped nerve in my thigh that could be mega painful, had to wear Tena pads, and got acne. I never even nested! That just sort of bypassed me. I'm hoping it's different, easier, this time confused

Ok, I'm done blush

Viviennemary Sat 05-Apr-14 12:48:36

Of course there is nothing wrong with not enjoying it. I know quite a few people who don't and didn't even have any particular problems. Just do what makes your life easier and get a cleaner if you can afford one. I quite liked being pregnant. But not everyone does and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Hope you feel better soon.

3DcAndMe Sat 05-Apr-14 12:50:52

Of course not

I would rather be in labour for a week than be pregnant for 40

Salmonspringroll Sat 05-Apr-14 12:51:44

Why would we enjoy it? I've had sickness all the way through (im 35 weeks now) backache, spd, headaches, acne, piles (tmi sorry!) varicose veins and no energy! I went on maternity at 29 weeks to sort flat out and haven't had the energy to even do it! The things women have to go through eh?!
But.... Just think, it will all be worth it when we have them on our arms ����

Beanymonster Sat 05-Apr-14 12:52:48

Another one here who hates pregnancy, I don't glow, my hair is greasy, I'm covered in spots, I'm the size of a house and been told 'your ready to pop!' From 19 weeks

I hate it. But it's worth it ;)

27 weeks now with number 1 and HATE it. So grateful to be pregnant and can't wait to meet the baby but Jesus- it's miserable. Sick, ill, tired and fed up!!!

RedPony Sat 05-Apr-14 12:53:58

I'm not particularly enjoying it either sad I love being able to feel little baby kicks and love knowing that in 3 months time I will have a beautiful son but the constant headaches/backache/spd pains/exhaustion/acid reflux/nausea is horrible sad .
I hope you feel better soon OP. have you tried those travel sickness bands for the sickness? it really helped for me when I was going through the 24x7 sickness stage

januaryJump Sat 05-Apr-14 12:55:36

Thanks for the replies, breathing a sigh of relief grin I think because I don't want it to be confused with not wanting to be pg, or not wanting our baby, which is probably massively overthinking it. But I think I found the birth and newborn stage more manageable, even though I was totally frazzled.

MyBalletShoes Sat 05-Apr-14 12:57:07

Perfectly normal. It can be an exhausting, draining and challenging time. Especially with a toddler!

And I'd take anything friends say with a pinch of salt. One friend I met through NCT classes was advising a group of mums at a bumps and babies group all about her wonderful pregnancy and how she could have easily done another 40 weeks. I sat there biting my tongue but was so ready to remind her about how she complained in every single class about her 'rubbish' pregnancy. Hindsight is a wonderful thing! wink

jellyandcake Sat 05-Apr-14 12:57:39

Loved my first pregnancy once past the sickness around halfway through. Didn't understand why so many women complain about it blush.

Well, I haven't stopped complaining this time! Exhaustion, nausea, insomnia, heartburn, restless legs, no let-up in the second trimester. Went on mat leave at 34 weeks but it's difficult to rest with a 3yo. I know having a newborn will be hard work but I can't wait to feel less uncomfortable!

scarletforya Sat 05-Apr-14 13:00:55

Pregnancy is horrible.

Jolleigh Sat 05-Apr-14 13:03:35

10 days overdue here angry I'm not a fan either.

moomin35 Sat 05-Apr-14 13:04:00

I'm so with you on this. 32 weeks today...

januaryJump Sat 05-Apr-14 13:07:09

You lot have brightened my day! Not that I am revelling in your misery, of course, but it's nice to know I have company grin

Here's to another 33 weeks... hope it goes really really quickly!

alita7 Sat 05-Apr-14 13:08:58

it's Ok I'm 9 weeks and unless I miraculously forget all this I do not want to do this again :p

I'm hoping once the nausea goes I'll enjoy it a bit more but then I'm sure there will be a new problem then anyway.

I want my baby so badly but I would like to get to term ASAP as I hate these symptoms :p

weebigmamma Sat 05-Apr-14 13:09:00

No guilt- pregnancy is awful lol. You do feel unable to moan about it too much because there are so many people who really want to be pregnant and I do feel very, very lucky as well. But hard to deny that it is basically the experience of having a large and growing parasite in your body for the best part of a year. Not fun by any stretch! I found that going shopping for cute baby clothes really helped me to visualise the end result and stop feeling too crap, but of course I didn't want to do that too early either. Good luck- I hope your sickness subsides very soon. xxx

Somanyillustrations Sat 05-Apr-14 13:13:00

40 weeks with DC2, and I have hated all but a few second trimester weeks not a huge fan of the newborn stage either . well worth it though :D

ohthegoats Sat 05-Apr-14 13:13:40

Yep, I'm only doing this once.

Somanyillustrations Sat 05-Apr-14 13:16:40

Oh, and I've had two straight forward pregnancies, it's still exhausting and I hate being fat.

weebairn Sat 05-Apr-14 15:04:13

I hate being pregnant. My last one was straightforward and this one is too so far and it still sucked.

The sleepless newborn bit I was fine with. Gestating for nine bloody months was just crap.

Just find people who have kids or who are pregnant to moan with, and don't say anything to people who are trying or who don't want kids. I think I've only met one person ever (maybe two ) who "enjoyed" pregnancy.

FirsttimerG Sat 05-Apr-14 15:07:01

I am thrilled to be pregnant but after 3 days walking around Rome at 13 weeks I am exhausted, my feet hurt in a way that's not normal, and I feel like it has stopped me enjoying something I've always wanted to do!
So you're not alone. Xxx

Jellymum1 Sat 05-Apr-14 15:20:12

35 weeks here and knackered and fed up and a miserable cow! everything hurts and everything makes me cry. I am being a shit mum and a shit wife and actually just a shit everything because I cant even crack a smile. I had a few weeks in the second trimester where I felt fab but 1st trimester sick as a dog and this last bit I am just a huge uncomfortable blimp. plus low bp equals continuous headaches and nausea and spd feeling like ive been kicked repeatedly in the c***. so no yanbu and you are not alone. I love being a mum love love love it but I hate being pregnant

januaryJump Sat 05-Apr-14 16:34:30

Righto, brew and cake for everyone who can stomach it.

Now if we could just arrange for some sort of pregnancy leave and other associated perks and benefits...

squizita Sat 05-Apr-14 17:10:24

I am fat, constipated and tired. I have too inject my leg every morning to stop my defective blood messing up my placenta.

I am more than happy to admit that whilst being thrilled about being pregnant, the day-to-day is a real grind!! Yuk!! Not fun at all!

What gets me really angry is when people who have had no problems ever conceiving or keeping their babies get judgey if I talk about my constipation and so forth. Like because I have struggled I should now go around LOVING the fact I can't poo and am covered in clexane bruises.

I could understand it from someone who has gone through worse, but smugness/judging from others really gets my goat.

alita7 Sat 05-Apr-14 17:14:17

agree squizz! We've all had our own problems whether apparent or not, so I don't understand why anyone thinks we should enjoy feeling shit. I am glad I still have morning sickness because I'm 9+2 and my last baby stopped growing at 9+ 4, if I still feel sick I hope it means things are ok for now. BUT I don't enjoy feeling like this by a long shot and I feel complaining is totally acceptable!

moobaloo Sat 05-Apr-14 17:16:38

I'm having a really straightforward pregnancy (don't hate me!) and I still don't LOVE being pregnant like some people claim to (or some of my friends, who have never been pregnant, who THINK that they will Love it hmm) it's alright. It's fine. It's ok. It is what it is. I don't mind it, but I'm looking forward to having a baby and I won't miss being pregnant!

weebairn Sat 05-Apr-14 17:42:45

Aw squiz. It's shit enough without the injections and the worry you have had! Come and moan to us any time grin

I am delighted to be pregnant, but I'm not enjoying it.

Expectingtwins1975 Sat 05-Apr-14 18:18:55

Hate being pregnant ... It sucks !!

Jux Sat 05-Apr-14 18:24:23

I really hated being pg. So much so, in fact, that I had my tubes tied after dd was born.

TheGrassIsSinging Sat 05-Apr-14 18:32:38

I found my first pregnancy hard. I had nausea for the first 20 weeks and felt fat and tired and achy, then got really bad SPD towards the end.

With Dc2 I had hyperemesis for the first 24 weeks, then developed OC. I was so uncomfortable and unwell throughout, I barely remember much about it other than puking a lot and crying to my mum that I was NEVER DOING IT AGAIN.

So no YANBU. But as the grannies alwYs say 'It is all worth it in the end' grin

Donkey36 Sat 05-Apr-14 18:34:02

Glad to see I'm not alone, have two Ds was ill throughout both pregnancies with nausea, sickness, daily injections for clotting, now pregnant with no3 DC same symptoms as above BUT the end result is soooo worth it ... However had forgotten how rubbish it can make you feel......

SizzlesSit Sat 05-Apr-14 18:37:22

Im hating it again.

With DS1 I hated it with 9 months of being sick.

But this pregnancy is even worse - am 35 weeks. Still being sick/nausea but also have insomnia, mild SPD, heartburn,, random pains, and headaches.

Plus a lively toddler (who doesnt sleep through) and until I was signed off work with exhaustion, a stressful FT job where I was out the house 11 hours a day.

I cant wait to give birth! Im also boring myself with my moaning and feel guilty about being a crap mum to DS.

Annarose2014 Sat 05-Apr-14 19:51:37

If anyone ever said to me "Oh I LOVED being pregnant!" I think I'd have to restrain myself. How can anyone possibly love this????!

It's utterly miserable! Just a relentless grind.

happylittlevegemites Sat 05-Apr-14 19:57:36

Oh I fucking hate being pregnant. And those people whol say "oh no, I feel pretty normal actually, well I hate them too (though try very hard to hide it, I'm not so mean really).

It's my second. My husband was thrilled - to him a positive pregnancy test = baby. But to me it just represents 9 months of sickness.

ChicaT Sat 05-Apr-14 21:26:09

Yup to all of the above...there's this wonderful illusion of pregnancy which somehow seeps into our consciousness before we are pregnant...and then the reality is totally different! Now I've had my baby I do look at pregnancy through slightly rose-tinted specs because having a baby to look after is pretty damned hard too, but if I look back objectively I ached all the time, was always tired, very grumpy most of the time, had a sore back from my muscles stretching, chronic back pain until an a-MAZ-ing chiropractor sorted me out (highly recommend it), baby would party all night, I had to inject every day too...but believe it or not (and I was a NON-believer) it is all worth it and my gorgeous DS makes me laugh and smile all day and is SO much fun. It seems like forever when you're in it, but seems like a flash once it's over. Keep on grumbling, it's the only time everyone puts up with it!!! xx

Missingcaffeine Sat 05-Apr-14 21:39:11

I am so with you on this and whilst I'm sorry you're all struggling too, I'm also grateful for this post!
I'm 16 weeks, my first pregnancy, and apart from being really excited to be pregnant, I absolutely hate the experience of being pregnant! Nobody told me how hard it is! So many people had told me they loved being pregnant. I knew about morning sickness, and feeling uncomfortable in the last stages, but nobody told me about the exhaustion! I miss feeling normal, having energy and wanting to do things. I'm normally so active and busy all the time and now I'm struggling to do the simplest of tasks.
Weeks 5-14 I felt CONSTANTLY like I wanted to vomit. Even now I still suffer, but thank goodness it's intermittent. My legs are puffy at the end of the day, I leaked urine last week when I sneezed, I can't sleep very well which affects my functioning in everything else, I constantly feel fat and uncomfortable, I have to pee so frequently, but only a few mls comes out, I get headaches, my boobs hurt and are huge, at only 16 weeks I'm feeling heavy and struggling to move as I normally do, I'm forgetting things, I can't face simple tasks like shopping or putting washing in the machine because I'm just constantly exhausted! Oh and I miss having a glass of wine or two on a Friday night. Thought that was going to be the hardest part, but actually it's easy compared to everything else!
I'm in the 2nd trimester now, and still waiting to get some energy and that glow all the books talk about.
Rant over.
Hope you all feel better soon!!

ohthegoats Sat 05-Apr-14 21:40:43

I used to think that pregnant woman often just sort of sat there, almost bovine in appearance... staring into space, zoned out. But I thought it was all about bliss... nooooo, it's actually all about being SO uncomfortable most of the time (for varying reasons), that the only thing to do is sit and zone out.

Missingcaffeine Sat 05-Apr-14 21:49:36

Sorry, rant not over.
I forgot to add to my list the restless legs, the constipation and the horrible spots and dry skin.
Despite all this moaning, I am genuinely grateful to be pregnant though.
Rant definitely over....for now.

Pregnantagain7 Sat 05-Apr-14 22:10:49

It's really crap! This my fourth and last so I'm telling myself as each week passes that was the last time you will ever be 12 weeks pregnant in your life, other wise I would cry. A lot. Everyday. ;)

alita7 Sat 05-Apr-14 22:16:53

I want my baby so badly but pregnancy is horrible but I think it's justified. nothing in life is free you have to suffer a lot to get you're perfect lo apparently :p

Boogles91 Sat 05-Apr-14 23:11:16

Im loving every minute of it :D though im in agony everyday and find it dificult to walk and sleep, got acid reflux and sickness headcahes, kidney is agony aswel as its blocked, amongst other things i really am loving it smile i dont know weather its because i had previous mc thats made me cherish all the moments or its just me lol i do understand your feelings though i blame it on hormones that make us feel this way sometimes xx

livingzuid Sat 05-Apr-14 23:15:54

I have hand pregnancy. It is the most stressful thing I have ever done. The anxiety and worry have been awful. I hate the scan fear and the fear of a mc. It has made my bipolar so much worse whereas for most women it's supposed to improve. I have had to take a cocktail of medication for bipolar, thyroid and hg for the whole pregnancy and it has at times made me so sick. And you worry constantly about the baby being affected.

I hate putting on over a kilo a week. I hate that at 31 weeks I am huge and fat despite not being able to eat much. I'm fed up of hg and feeling sick and nauseous most of the day and not being able to even walk to the park with my dog. I miss food, healthy food. Why can I only tolerate super processed food sad I used to be so fit and healthy.

I want a beer as well dammit!

I hate the hormones that mean one minute I'm laughing and the next minute I'm sobbing. I have just looked at my feet and they look like balloons.

I want to sleep. So bad. I'm so tired. But I can't sleep because I'm either running to the loo or my legs never stay still. When I do doze off it's never good sleep. I miss cuddling my husband but I have to hug a bolster or I can't breathe properly at night. When I do get to go to bed rather than having to sleep upright on the sofa.

And no one told me I would stink. I have to buy super strong deodorant and can't wait to burn my pants and put nice new ones on after the baby arrives. It's horrible. My digestive system is fooked too.

Special moisturiser doesn't prevent stretch marks for some of us either. No matter how much it costs.

And I have developed mild spd this last week. Am in awe of women who manage one way or another with spd through pregnancy. Same with hg. I haven't had it nearly as badly as some and can't believe women have toddlers too look after on top of it all.

I saw Emily Blunt wafting through her pregnancy with pics in Vogue looking amazing and serene and how pregnancy was the best thing ever. Bitch even though I do like her really

Rant over. Thank you for the thread smile

livingzuid Sat 05-Apr-14 23:16:51

Hated not hand <cries>

IMissSleep Sun 06-Apr-14 08:09:55

38+3 here and I can't wait for it to be over.
I'm housebound because of BAD spd.
Have painful sciatica.
Baby's bum is under my ribs and a killer when he moves. Which is a lot. Booked in for a section at 39+4. Counting down the days grin

NestingNesting123 Sun 06-Apr-14 12:37:30

I know what you mean squizita. I will never stop being grateful that things worked out for me but I have hated every minute of being pregnant. Nausea, headaches, back pain, insomnia, the worry of a high risk nuchal test/expense and 2 week wait for Harmony results (OBVIOUSLY massively grateful to get a happy outcome from that), itching and now planning to spend the last weeks of my pregnancy in hospital. I wouldn't swap my situation for the world but I'm not enjoying it!

And I won't even mention missing wine, sleeping on my front and having a wardrobe consisting of more than a handful of frumpy dresses and some leggings!

januaryJump Sun 06-Apr-14 14:28:09

A lot of sympathy to those of you that have to inject. I have to do injections daily for 6wks postpartum but none in pg, and those 6wks can't go quick enough, my thighs are unrecognisable by the end and so sore sad

I know a year from now things will be so different, and I'll be enjoying my 2 little ones, just not sure how many times I want to do this! confused I think I have to establish some sort of optimal circumstance in which to have a third, if we decide to, to make it as easy as possible grin

Meerka Sun 06-Apr-14 16:21:35

I hate it deeply. Been discussing with gyne the options for sterilization after this 2nd and last one's out becuase NO WAY on God's earth am I doing this again.

Pregnancy is the nine months misery you have to endure to get to the prize at the end. The actual newborn stage is pretty easy after pregnancy. At least it was last time <adds cautiously just in case it's diff this time, but I can't see how it can possibly be worse than pregnancy>

clarelitt71 Sun 06-Apr-14 20:58:12

Nothing wrong what so ever, if I'm ttuthfulivr hated every minute of being pregnant I've been sick since I was 6wks pregnant and I'm now 28wks & still throwing up I'm tired all the time as the sickness has wiped me out, I've had a kidney infection, E-Coli and was told on Friday I now have diabetes not everyone flourishes through there pregnancies, so if u want to be miserable & moan you go ahead it's your god damn given right :-)

Misscocopops Sun 06-Apr-14 21:17:07

I actually came on here looking for advice on this same thing! I am 16 weeks today and I am so sad really. I always pictured my pregnancy being a happy time but as much as I can't wait to meet baby I hate being pregnant. I always thought women used it as an excuse for being a brat and a cow but I top them all. I can't stand myself! I moan about being pregnant 24/7 I cry at everything (my poor boyfriend just drove round 5 shops looking for chocolate milkshake powder after finding me crying in the room as my brother had used it all up!) I cry for no reason at all because I just feel sad! I fly into rages (I'm usually a very chilled mellow person) I hate how it's not my boobs that have grown but my rib cage so non of my bras - or my clothes fit. I hate I can't fit normal clothes or maternity clothes. I hate how spotty I am. I hate how tired I am. I am so lazy I haven't done washing in over two weeks. I am making so many stupid mistakes at work and can't remember the names of objects such as a pen. My back hurts - my bum smells like a small animal has crawled up and died in it. I am just a sad, miserable, moaning, snivelling, angry pregnant moose. I don't want to cry or feel sick or tired or angry any more. I worry that I'm not normal as everyone said this would go by 14 weeks! I hate being pregnant sad I worry that me and my boyfriend will never be able to afford our mortgage now and will be stuck living with my dad forever, I worry I'll still be crying when baby is here and people will thing I can't cope and take baby away from me. I want to stop working as I just can't cope with life at the moment but I worry about money. Sometimes I'm ok, but I just feel so down and lethargic most of the time and I can't help but compare myself to others aRound my (namely boyfriend bros girlfriend who had a wonderful pregnancy hand was happy and worked all the way through and was back in her size 8 jeans when baby was 2 weeks old!!!!!!) I'm now worried I'm rambling and no one will read this and that ive hijacked Januaryjumps thread. I don't even have a toddler to run after and I'm a total mess!! I was a normal mellow person before this happened!! I love baby I can't wait to meet baby but I seriously can't handled being pregnant! Eugh!!!! sad

Lottiedoubtie Sun 06-Apr-14 22:06:59

^ I read it miss and I agree!

I'm sat, propped up in bed crying my eyes out. I'm 17 weeks and I fucking hate being pregnant. I ache all over, I feel sick, but not just that I feel sick with every inch of my huge body. I feel dizzy and every nown again the room lurches. I have diareah (sp) and have done since the start of the pregnancy, interspersed with odd says of constipation. I can't do anything, I've been off work since 8 weeks and housebound most of the time. I've only started to get better days in the last week or so, and then if I actually do anything (like yesterday I went to a shop) I pay for it with a day of total hell the next.

My mood is down and level ( was going to say up, but that's just an overstatement) like a yoyo. I had no idea pregnancy could be like this.

And I just don't believe women who say they loved pregnancy, it's a fucking dangerous lie which doesn't prepare you for the full horror and leaves you thinking it must be you, and then you read threads like this and realise it isn't.

Misscocopops Sun 06-Apr-14 22:18:46

Aww lottie, sorry to hear you've been so housebound. During one of my crying fits at my mum I was screaming I hated her and I felt betrayed by all women kind because they where all fucking liars - and exactly what you said, you are made to feel so abnormal and alone and bad that you feel like that! I've just started another thread on dafts things that have made me cry but you last sentence I don't think I've heard truer words spoken! I got angry at the lady on my pregnancy vit box for looking so happy! Posters should have people like us on the front not stupid happy people. It's not that I'm glad all these ladies are also having a bad time, I wish we where all happy and 'glowing' but I am so pleased I'm not alone it's cheered me up a touch as morbid as that sounds..... Now I feel bad for being pleased others feel as shit as I do :|
And lottie the fact you replied to me and really brightened my mood smile
Have you brought a Doppler? It has cheered me up and stopped me feeling so low (but panicky a few times when I couldn't find baby's heartbeat. I got mine on amazon for £25 called angel sounds. ESP when your housebound and run out of reading material x

DemonsInMyHead Sun 06-Apr-14 22:20:23

I HATE it. I am 29 weeks. Had horrendous morning sickness (though I appreciate I'm luckier than a lot who get it all the way through). Nothing fits, I have to keep buying bras that I can't afford because my size changes weekly, I look like a whale, people seem to think my bump is public property, I'm constantly bloated and uncomfortable, I can't put my shoes on, I'm fed up of the advice and the comments.

And I MISS WINE. <grump>

Lottiedoubtie Sun 06-Apr-14 22:24:57

Haven't bought one, but physicist DH says he can borrow one from work tomorrow so hopefully I'll get to have a play with that! smile

I feel sick and just want my mum, even though she lives 30 miles away and wouldn't thank me for calling her out at this time of night. I feel about as emotionally mature as a 10 year old tonight.

weebigmamma Mon 07-Apr-14 00:47:44

To Misscocopops- sorry you're feeling so incredibly shit (and everyone else too!) It sucks being pregnant.

I just wanted to say, about the fear of feeling like this after the baby and having your baby taken away from you, it was that thought that made me not tell the midwives how depressed I was after I had my first. I really wish I had though. If you do find yourself feeling black, either before or after the birth, please do tell them. They won't take your baby away (I have been reassured this time around that they will try to help me if this happens and that they don't go round taking people's babies off them). I made sure I put 'history of depression' on my notes this time so that they'd ask me about it and I couldn't lie this time.

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs Mon 07-Apr-14 19:30:34

Thank you for this OP. pregnancy is just so tedious isn't it? Tedious and irritating. I'm only 26 weeks and I already feel like I've been pregnant forever. So fed up with the aches and pains already.

OhTheDrama Mon 07-Apr-14 21:57:26

I'm 7 weeks with a surprise 3rd baby and I absolutely hate being pregnant, have done every time. This time round I'm 6 yrs older than the last time I did this and I'm already finding the tiredness tough going, dreading the the last 10 weeks. Makes me cry when I think about it.

wispaxmas Mon 07-Apr-14 22:18:31

I've been really lucky in in my pregnancy in the 1st and 2nd tris, but still doesn't mean I like it. Heartburn, joint pain, and today the ankle swelling has kicked in. 32 weeks this week and already just want it to be over! shock

ZingSweetCoconut Mon 07-Apr-14 22:41:14

I think a relatively good pg can still be full of problems.
if you have help and people who will listen to your moaning (like I do!grin ) things will seem more manageable.

I think my pregnancies were fine, despite - morning sickness & vomiting (neither have stopped yet and I'm 26 weeks pg with my 7th), nose bleeds, painful leg cramps, severe migraines, itchy skin, piles, sore breasts, painful BHs, PSD/PGP, thrush, backache, exhaustion, panic attacks and anxiety which cause hyperventilation, insomnia, incontinence, sensitive teeth and bleeding gums, heartburn, indegistion, mild hallucinations, disturbed speech.
And with DS4, who was footling breech I had months of him kicking me right on top of the cervix (where his feet were stuck) which were extremely painful. like being stabbed in the fanjo, from inside.

So I sympathise with anyone who feels they are not enjoying their pg - but I do think we have different tolerance, circumstances and attitudes, so some people with lesser problems might have a harder time coping then some who have a huge problem but feel lucky to be alive.
All of that is understandable.

big hugs to all who feel crap.
just be grateful for the easier days!smile

januaryJump Mon 07-Apr-14 22:42:51

I'm glad others are able to find comfort in our pg recovery room grin

Been considering the positives and comparing this pg with my first, and at least this time I don't have to worry and anticipate constantly what the next step is. Waiting for my booking in and scan last time was excruciating! And I panicked over tiny things. I feel much calmer this time, I know how it works and my mind isnt 100% absorbed with baby things. It's still there but at least a little bit less!

Iwillorderthefood Mon 07-Apr-14 23:01:20

I hate being pregnant too. Currently 31 weeks, it's stress incontinence, plus the fact that I will need to give birth shortly that I dislike the most. To add to my concerns read a thread about transverse lie and I know there is a way to go, but the baby is in a transverse lie. Plus DD2 did not sleep for 2.5 years and I am dreading more of the same, but with me being 5 years older. Once she is here, and I am doing it, at least the waiting will be over and I'll know what I am in for. DH works long hours, and will be of no use whatsoever. This pg was a total surprise by the way.

BumpAndGrind Tue 08-Apr-14 00:02:54

I hated being pregnant so much when DD came 9 weeks early I'm really ashamed to say I was so elated not to be pregnant anymore that I didn't feel guilty for not being able to keep her inside and safe and then felt all consuming guilt for not feeling guilty, bloody hormones

bloominbumpy Tue 08-Apr-14 09:47:02

I always feel bad that im not completely enjoying pregnancy particularly as I work with a lady who had a mmc and was unable to get pregnant again sad

when I'm at work and feeling like utter crap with whatever random ailement my body has decided to go through and not looking my chirpiest she always says "smile girl you should be happy!"

I hate this!
I am happy ecstatic even that I am able to carry my child but the actual physical and emotional havoc it sometimes causes is something I could live without!

Currently 24 weeks and apart from quite horrific sickness till about 14 weeks I would say I haven't had to suffer as much as many do apart from the norm piles, heartburn, back ache, tummy pains, aching feet, constant hunger or nausea, headaches and almost constant pains and aches in my hips and bum... like I said nothing out of the ordinary!

Ploppy16 Tue 08-Apr-14 09:52:19

Nothing wrong with that at all! I had big gaps between mine so had forgotten most of the bad bits but the last time (surprise third after a 5 year gap) I almost wept with gratitude when DH said he wanted to go for the snip.. grin
The heartburn was the worst, had it from around 16 weeks on, constantly for 24 hrs a day so no sleep and could barely eat without having to dose myself up on mucogel. It was a standing joke that when I had bloods taken they would probably come out white!
Giving birth hurt but a I never been more grateful for the pain that meant the light at the end of the tunnel..

Ladylel Tue 08-Apr-14 14:57:13

Totally feeling your pain januaryjump. Whoever said it was magically clearly left out the bit about the first trimester being horrendous. Only 6wks myself with my first but currently feeling rundown, nauseas, fatigue headaches etc really hoping the 2nd trimester means il go back to feeling myself again!

Behonest25 Tue 08-Apr-14 15:09:47

I was incredibly grateful to be pregnant with my dc. I conceived after just a few months. I have friends who are struggling to conceive so was careful not to complain around them.

However I struggled with terrible all day morning sickness and was admitted to hospital in all pregnancies. I suffered with heartburn especially at night and EVERYTHING tasted odd.

With my last I was so thankful that I would not have to experience pregnancy/birth again. That pregnancy dragged and I just yearned to eat chicken/Indian curries again lol!

9 months is such a long time and I have symptoms from as early as 6 weeks.

livingzuid Tue 08-Apr-14 15:31:43

There is a big difference between being estatic about your incoming child and being estatic about being pregnant. Imo the two are not the same. Pregnancy is the physical and mental aspect torture of growing said child. Having a child and looking forward to meeting him or her is something separate. I'm thrilled to be having a little one but loathe the process.

Kels13 Tue 08-Apr-14 16:13:51

I'm so with you all. 13th week of constant sickness and getting worse... Really hoping I experience some 'glowing' soon! It's a total myth isn't it. I can't face going into work, the only thing that seems to help my sickness is 24hr sleeping...

ithoughtofitfirst Tue 08-Apr-14 16:35:40

I feel a bit better/less guilty after reading this thread.

Psychologically not coping with being pregnant and (once again!) keeping it to myself. And this pregnancy is mild compared to my last. I just hate it. But i'm so grateful that i am blessed with another pregnancy bevause i want my boy to have siblings and closeness like i did growing up.

Dreading labour, dreading the sleep deprivation, dreading starting all over again. Miserable sad

I should probably talk to my midwife. Here we go again!

Happychick35 Tue 08-Apr-14 16:42:49

Can I join the club: I barely survived my pregnancy first sickness till 6 months and not the morning one 24 hour one, afterwards it was such a horrid acid reflux that I did not eat anything except bread and potato , last weeks I could not move, think or do anything! I know a lot of people who had a experience but I am not one of them. However the moment you hold your LO in your hands you start thinking of the next one ...

Ladylel Tue 08-Apr-14 19:36:41

My mind is definitely not on the next one at this point in the game.

januaryJump Tue 08-Apr-14 20:10:25

Ladylel grin Oh I can relate to that sentiment!

I remember naively thinking, pre-DC1, that I would want to jump in fairly quickly to have a second, and then after that maybe even a third. I had determined that I would need a year for my body to recover and then we could start TTC again. As I approached DC1's first birthday, I realised I wasn't ready to be pregnant again. I had a brief moment afterwards, of broodiness, but then I realised we just had so much going on and pregnancy just wouldn't fit with that - I kept remembering the nausea, the tiredness, the aches and pains etc. Next thing you know DC1 is 15mo and I'm staring at 'Pregnant' on a Clearblue Digital shock

I'm motivating myself with the thought of newborn snuggles in the not too distant future and ignoring the birth, night feeds, and having 2 under 2.

But boy, I don't think I could go for a third any time soon confused

Sometimesbrunette Thu 10-Apr-14 02:01:50

I'm 12 weeks, oh my god it's been awful.

Doesn't mean I don't want this baby

ohthegoats Thu 10-Apr-14 07:24:33

Almost 16 weeks. Lying in an air conditioned room, in bed, next to a snoring boyfriend who is breathing out the horrible combined fumes of whisky and fags because he went out boozing until 4am (without me, obv, I just stayed in bed awake worrying about him being pissed with strangers). It's 1.15 in the afternoon, I feel like absolute shit, yet I can't leave the room because I'm in Thailand and it's a million degrees out there. The heat makes me feel much, much worse. Despite factor 30 I burnt my normally easy to tan skin in about an hour, so can't be in the sun.

Second trimester holiday they said.
Nice relaxing time they said.

I feel sick, fat and disgusting, boring, a massive party pooper, constipated, I'm totally not up for sex which is disappointing for him,, I've got stretching pains... I'm going to move in to a massage place today and see if I can stand anyone touching me.


barmybunting Thu 10-Apr-14 09:56:38

This thread feels like it has been heaven sent to remind me I am still vaguely sane!

I'm only just over 8 weeks with my first, but I naively thought I would enjoy it. So far, I absolutely hate being pregnant. And I know I have a long way to go yet!! I seriously admire anyone who does this more than once. I am so fed up of feeling ill constantly, throwing up every day, hating the sight or smell of food, feeling exhausted and going to bed when I get in from work at 7pm. I feel guilty leaving DH to do everything but I'm struggling through work trying to cover it up at the moment (I'm a teacher covering someone else's maternity leave of all things) and I'm just fed up! We are so excited about the baby, but I really can't wait for the first trimester to be over in the hope I may feel more human after this.

jellyandcake Thu 10-Apr-14 10:04:58

I had my baby two days ago at 37+6. I'm sleep deprived, emotional and with various aches and pains but feel wonderful because I'm not pregnant anymore! When I think I could have had a further four weeks of pregnancy, I shudder. It's so much better on the other side!

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 10-Apr-14 10:48:18

Aww congratulations jellyandcake

I had such an easy 2nd and 3rd trimester my first pg that the newborn stage hit me like a brick wall. I was so unprepared looking back.

I feel like i know what's coming this time but i'm dreading it despite being more experienced. Some women just seem to cope so much better than i ever did!

I'm glad it's going more smoothly for you on the other side!

ZingSweetCoconut Thu 10-Apr-14 11:47:17

congratulations jelly, wonderful news!smile thanks

buffythebarbieslayer Thu 10-Apr-14 18:56:56

39 weeks with dc3 and almost as excited about not being pregnant as meeting my little one.

We are thrilled to be having a third and that coupled with the knowledge that this is my last time, are the only things that have kept me going.

I really have tried to enjoy the nice aspects e.g. the miracle of it, movements, seeing the scans etc.

But the exhaustion, the pains, the sickness no way. Not being able to enjoy wine or food or go out because I'm too bloody knackered.

And this last bit is a mental marathon. The anticipation and desperation for it to be over. The inability to concentrate and dealing with young kids etc

mssleepyhead Thu 10-Apr-14 20:43:16

I'm 20 weeks and even though I'm in the honeymoon trimester (ha!) I'm not enjoying it : ( and I wish people would stop telling me to. My clothes don't fit, my skin is bad, I ache constantly, I'm peeing constantly, and I'm so so so anxious about keeping this little boy safe. And so far it's been a pretty straightforward pregnancy! I love and want this little boy more than anything but sometimes I think "I'm only half way" and it makes me feel very... Frazzled. Glad I'm not alone!

SJC2014 Thu 10-Apr-14 21:00:08

I'm 7 weeks with my first.. Not loving it I feel like shit warmed up twice

I know how your feeling smile
At least I have good days and bad days must be crappy to have all bad!

romomum Fri 11-Apr-14 18:56:35

happy I found this thread, always felt guilty that I didn't enjoy pregnancy...truth is..it sucks!! constipation,morning sickness,hormonal,super tired, no sex drive, that's first trimester...second..still tired ,heart burn,hormonal,no sex drive,constipation,piles,stress incontinence,itch skin, can't get comfortable.....and most recently had infection tooth and can only take paracetamol which hardly touched the pain!! this is my third and last!!! good to have a moan mind!!grin grin

22honey Fri 11-Apr-14 19:10:18

I must be a total wuss, this is my first baby, no complications, MS went weeks ago (I'm nearly 22 weeks), I'm in my early 20s and the pregnancy hasn't took that much of a toll yet still I find myself thinking I never want to do this again! Its such hard work not being able to do certain things, its very uncomfortable at night time and I'm told its only going to get worse!

But then the worst thing by far is the worrying about my beautiful baby. Although after the 20 week scan the worry has gone much further down, the thoughts of inter uterine death and stillborn have started plaguing my mind! It is awful, emotional tiring and stressful. Months of just thinking 'I want this baby to be here and safe, I want to know its all ok and they will be here in my arms'....I'm pretty sure I'm only going to do this one or two more times! xx

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